Anyone else anxious, nervous, scared???

anmllwyr

Hi all.

I realize I still have about 3 months to go, but I'm starting to have some anxiety over birthing this baby.  The idea of so much pain, and of passing a baby through such a small opening is rather terrifying to me!  I am planning on trying my best for a natural birth using the Bradley method.  Rationally, I realize that women have been doing this since the dawn of time, and that my body MUST be capable of doing this naturally.  But it's still really scary.  Is anyone else out there experiencing this?  What are you doing to help stay calm about the prospect?  Thanks!

roundtheworldgirl

Yes, I am - because my last labor wasn't so long ago and the memories are still pretty vivid.  My coping mechanism is to not think about it.  I've been nesting up a storm and daydreaming about how DD will react to her new sibling, etc.  All the warm fuzzy things that come AFTER labor.  I think the key for me will be to keep my eye on the prize ...

carpozi

Personally, I'm on my last Bradley class tonight and feel pretty good about the labor/delivery process.  The first girl in our class to go had her baby last week and said if she could do it (she was terrified at the beginning of the class) then we could do it. 

Right now I'm going through a "what's a day or so of pain compared to the lifelong committment of being RESPONSIBLE for someone else!" phase... so I'm not thinking about L&D too much, but worried about making mistakes that will mess up my child for life!  

Marinewife81

All of the above. But I, too, am trying to focus on the warm fuzzy things. I keep thinking about how my DH is going to react to her when she's born. He's so in love with her already. I think if I can focus on that I should be ok.

nosoup4u

I definitely had fears about not losing it during contractions - I was really scared they'd be too much right away, but in my case, they started gradually enough (I wasn't induced and didn't have any Pitocin for augmentation), that I was able to really get into the rhythm of relaxing through them...I guess maybe just focusing on what's happening now, as opposed to what could happen (or how many contractions are left, etc). Chances are that you'll be focused enough when it comes to pushing that you won't have time to worry about it, you know what I mean?

Hypnobirthing/babies might be something to look into, they both have at-home options. And "Birthing From Within" has some good chapters about coping with Worrying. hth and good luck!

anmllwyr

nosoup4u:

I definitely had fears about not losing it during contractions - I was really scared they'd be too much right away, but in my case, they started gradually enough (I wasn't induced and didn't have any Pitocin for augmentation), that I was able to really get into the rhythm of relaxing through them...I guess maybe just focusing on what's happening now, as opposed to what could happen (or how many contractions are left, etc). Chances are that you'll be focused enough when it comes to pushing that you won't have time to worry about it, you know what I mean?

Hypnobirthing/babies might be something to look into, they both have at-home options. And "Birthing From Within" has some good chapters about coping with Worrying. hth and good luck!

Thanks everyone!  It's helpful just to know I'm not alone.  And this advice in particular is very helpful!  I will definitely have to check out the resources you suggested.  Thanks and GL to all of you too!

pinksweetpea2

I do remember being nervous early on, but then I found as I got closer to my EDD (and then went way past it), that I was MORE than ready- and no longer nervous) about giving birth.   I was like that guy Joe from Family Guy- "BRING IT ON!" at the very end.   LOL

I seem to notice the same trend with other pregnant ladies that I know, so hopefully it will be the same for you.   

MissMolly22

I am definitely nervous about the whole birthing process but at the same time I am excited about it.  I just finished reading Ina May's guide to childbirth and I found it to be really helpful in lessening some of the fear.  The first half of the book is all natural med-free birth stories.  I highly recommend reading this book even if you only read the birth stories they really show that you can do it (it is so different from what you see on TV and movies).

MTAngel

I'm with ya - I'm actually more nervous than I was with DS because I know what I'm in for this time. I know I can do a med free birth and that is very empowering -  but, dang it hurt & I'm not so excited about that part! I'm trying to reassure myself that this labor could be very different (last one was 29 hours & I ended up getting pitocin which made the last 8 hours rather nasty). I've been going back over all of my Bradley materials and am now reading "Birthing from Within", I've also picked back up my prenatal yoga DVDs to help me stretch and relax at night. I tend to feel calm if I feel prepared so bring on the reading materials and exercises!

anmllwyr

Thanks so much everyone.  This has been so helpful!  I just ordered Birthing from Within on Amazon.  I will probably pick up Ina May's guide after that (if I have time!).  I should do my prenatal yoga more often than I do!  It always makes me feel so much better. 

And MTAngel, I agree...with just about everything in my life, I always feel better the more prepared I am.  Thanks for the reminder! 

darkpixie08

One thing that has really helped calm my nerves is realizing that my body is meant to do this.  The male sex organ changes size all the time, they just do it more often.  The vagina is absolutely no different.  It's made of the exact same sort of tissues, just formed a little differently.  It's meant to accommodate the baby passing through, and change size in much the same way, with no ill effects.  We don't consider the change of size damaging to the penis, the same should be of the vagina.  Whenever I get nervous I just repeat this to myself, and it makes me feel a lot better.

amyjoy18

Honestly, I imagined the worst--constantly.  It turns out it wasn't nearly as bad as I imagined and it was really a wonderful, adreneline, emotion filled night. 

Besides, by the end, you just want the baby out.  When you get to the point where if your Dr. said, "you can have this baby today--but he has to come out your nose" and your immediate thought is "Let's do it!" no doubt, you're ready.

tastyburger

darkpixie08:

One thing that has really helped calm my nerves is realizing that my body is meant to do this.  The male sex organ changes size all the time, they just do it more often.  The vagina is absolutely no different.  It's made of the exact same sort of tissues, just formed a little differently.  It's meant to accommodate the baby passing through, and change size in much the same way, with no ill effects.  We don't consider the change of size damaging to the penis, the same should be of the vagina.  Whenever I get nervous I just repeat this to myself, and it makes me feel a lot better.

this is a GREAT point.

one thing that keeps me calm is thinking about animal births.  I recently watched two cows birth their calves without so much as a "moo."  I am a HUGE animal lover and have always had a special affinity for our four-legged friends, so for some reason it calms me to think of, for example, a momma cat birthing her litter.  This may be too strange for some, but it works for me.

Mrs. Sara Beth

I was sooo nervous about baby #1! I spent 9 months talking myself up to it last time. But seriously, the best thing to remember is stay in the moment... like if you are a runner.. you say ok, I'm ok right now right this second, I've got this. Then you take another step.

That's how I view birth. One moment at a time. During labor only think of the present, not whats past, and not whats coming. That will be soo beneficial to you!

So maybe practice that now? Just take your days one at a time. Worrying about your birth doesn't do a whole lot of good. Let go and breathe in the pregnancy! :-) Not very often you have an alien in your belly!

 Hugs! 

 

 

Lolo555

pinksweetpea2:

I do remember being nervous early on, but then I found as I got closer to my EDD (and then went way past it), that I was MORE than ready- and no longer nervous) about giving birth.   I was like that guy Joe from Family Guy- "BRING IT ON!" at the very end.   LOL

I seem to notice the same trend with other pregnant ladies that I know, so hopefully it will be the same for you.   

I definitely agree with this.  I didn't feel confident about giving birth until about 37 wks into my pregnancy, and I was absolutely terrified about it until at least 30 wks. 

Also, a doula (not ours) shared a great motto with me..."I can do anything for three minutes".  Keep in mind that you usually get a break between contractions, including with pushing, and just take the process a few minutes at a time.  GL!