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Parenting
My MIL is a childish brat (long ass vent)
So, backstory: Last year when we moved, no apartment complexes here would let us have our bigger dog because she is a german shepherd mix, so we asked MH's parents to keep Maggie until we bought a house. They were fine w/ it, love dogs, etc. It was always clear that we would be bringing her to TN once we found a house. On top of that, we offered to pay for her vet care, food, and had to force MIL to take her to the vet around Christmas last year due to her weight gain. We were convinced she had a problem (she did - thyroid), and MIL acted like we were attacking her for giving her too many treats (probably true, but we were more concerned there was a health issue and we were right). We've definitely remained involved throughout the past year as owners.
Last week, we moved, and FIL came to help and brought Maggie home to us. For the past 3 months as it has become clear we were moving and bringing her home, MIL has been acting like we're stealing her dog and been being a complete nutcase about the whole situation. She told us and others that we wouldn't feed Maggie, we wouldn't give her her meds, Jackson would torment her, she is terrified of Jackson, we wouldn't treat her as well as she does, etc. and on and on and on. We mostly ignored her, because well, it's not worth it to engage her and I said all along that had she approached us with "You know, I've loved having Maggie, would you consider letting us keep her?" that we would have considered it if Maggie was happy, even though it would have been hard for us. Because she acted the way she did I have ZERO sympathy that she misses this dog and I just think she's lost her damn mind.
Fast forward to now, she is refusing to talk to MH and Jackson when MH calls like he regularly does. They just talk to FIL, and she refuses to come to the phone. To a certain extent, whatever - it's her loss. On the other hand, I am beyond freaking annoyed that everyone just lets her act like this and ignores her behavior.
All of that said, she and FIL are supposed to be coming here in September when I have Scarlett and staying w/ Jackson. My parents are also coming but just for the day before and day of, while MIL/FIL were going to stay until we were out of the hospital. I am seriously considering asking my mom if she'll do it and telling the in laws they aren't welcome because I don't need her a) bitchy comments about the dog (she will make passive aggressive comments the entire time she is here about how her house and she are so much better than we are) and b) she doesn't deserve to be a part of the big moments in our lives if she is going to act like a total ass about something that she knew was going to happen all along and agreed to in the first place.
I'm just sick of it, because it's a constant cycle with her over something dumb, every time. For the most part, I am okay with ignoring her ridiculousness because it doesn't affect me, but at the same time, I am so sick of everyone just giving her a pass.
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Re: My MIL is a childish brat (long ass vent)
I second that. It plays her game against her.
Yeah, I definitely like that. If we do tell them not to come, we'll probably say something like that not, "hey you're acting like a ridiculous child, don't come to our house." LOL.
I already talked to my mom and she's willing to do whatever. Plus my brother and his wife are willing to help out if we need them. So at least that is ready if I decide to tell the crazy to stay home.
I think this is a huge part of why I am so bothered. I know I'm extra hormonal right now, but at the same time, she is a really good grandma, most of the time. It's the comments about Jackson being mean to the dog (completely untrue) and that she is avoiding talking to him, too. He doesn't really get it, and is happy to talk to his grandpa, but I'm not going to put him through this every time she gets a bee up her ass about something. Especially as he gets older and understands more.
She's usually so good about Jackson - and so good to him - to be honest, our relationship was very rocky until I had him and then it improved significantly because I could appreciate how good of a grandmother she was. She's just completely irrational about things occasionally and everyone lets her get away with it. I told MH that I hoped if I was ever acting like that as we were older he would tell me to get over myself and grow up.
Well if anyone says anything to her, it will be MH, that's for sure. I only engage her if she directly says something to me (generally it would be a response like "why would you say that?") and she was invited to come in September when we were figuring out Jackson's care a few months ago.
It does affect me to an extent - at the very least she is trashing me and my child to other people. But I'm also having to figure out a backup plan that we're probably going with since she's decided to be ridiculous and immature. The end result is her loss, though, and of course, I feel somewhat bad for FIL since he's not like her (but he does put up with this and doesn't tell her to quit being a nut).
LOL! We've actually discussed this.
the funny thing is - she has her own dog. I hate that dog so much, and so does everyone else (maybe even including her?). haha.
Today I am just laughing about it, because what grown woman basically stops talking to her son and grandkid because she's so upset about having to give their dog back (which she knew all along?). It's hilarious. I mean, I understand growing attached and saying you'll miss the dog, or even wanting to keep it, but she's basically acting like, "THEY STOLE MY DOG! IT'S MINNNNNNNNNNNNNE! I WANT IT!!!!!!" Ok, crazy.
OMG, DM - that is awful yet hilarious. Who does that???
My MIL isn't so much an attention seeking person. She just really, seriously values HER keeping OUR dog over anything else. She's almost delusional about it. There's not a whole lot she has going on in her life, and she loves dogs. Which, while admirable, she knew all along what was going to happen, and agreed to it. And honestly if she had not acted immature and crazy, I would feel bad for her, because I know it's easy to get attached to an animal like that. But the strategy of badmouthing us and not speaking to us to make some sort of crazy stand about how Maggie belongs to her was not the route to take, LOL.
Do we have the same MIL? I could have written this post. I have many of the same problems with my MIL and she exhibits a lot of the same immature behavior.