how do you deal with the separation?

Dani816

our little girl was born last week (at 37 weeks) due to IUGR. the cause seems to be a small, aged placenta, but we have no idea why that happened. anyway, she weighed 3 pounds 11 ounces at birth and is currently doing quite well in the special care unit. (she's up to 3 pounds 12.8 ounces.) the dr estimates she'll be home in 2-3 weeks, depending on when she starts taking all of her feedings from a bottle.

i feel very lucky to have this beautiful, relatively healthy baby. my issue is this constant melancholy/homesick feeling that follows me when i'm away from her. 

anyway, just wondering how others have dealt with this feeling. . .  

Bippy798

I was just in pure survival mode our 9 weeks in the NICU. I have no idea how I survived. I just took it day by day!

Sweets2005

For me, there really was no dealing with it! The only thing that cured that feeling was when the babies were discharged! I was constantly sad and crying. It was awful. It did get better after a few weeks but not completely. Sorry I wasn't more help! I just wanted to let you know that the feelings are normal. Hang in there! She will be home soon, that is the most important part. And congrats on your baby girl!

angelatron26

I agree with PP.  You never really deal with it.  You just do it.  You go through it one day at a time and take things as they come.  I wish I could say it gets easier, but it doesn't, it just gets more routine.  Hang in there, when LO gets out, it will be but a memory.

Denesdia

One day at a time, and staying focused on how great it will be to take a healthy baby home who is eating, gaining weight, etc.  I have to admit that I was on autopilot for nearly 14 weeks with DD.  I am so glad for you and your LO, however, in that it looks like LO just has to master a few things and has a good chance of going home.  I remember just kind of going through the motions during our NICU time, with intermittent moments of breaking down when I would just hit the wall.  Stay connected with friends and family, and come to our board when you need us. 

Irishsapphire

It was a rollercoaster.  I had a difficult time bonding with my baby when he was in the hospital.  It was like he was my baby bird that I was helping to take care of.  It became more real for me when he finally came home--I felt more like I was his mother and I was taking care of him around the clock rather than the nurses taking care of him.   He is now my chunky monkey, and I just adore him!

FisMom

Sweets2005:

For me, there really was no dealing with it! The only thing that cured that feeling was when the babies were discharged! I was constantly sad and crying. It was awful. It did get better after a few weeks but not completely. Sorry I wasn't more help! I just wanted to let you know that the feelings are normal. Hang in there! She will be home soon, that is the most important part. And congrats on your baby girl!

This exactly!

I cried all the time and I started posting here. I visited the NICU a lot. Got my house ready. And took a lot of naps and pumped a whole lot of milk. Try to do as much as you can when you visit - change diapers, give her a bath, and take lots and lots of pictures.  

buenaestrella77

Denesdia:

One day at a time, and staying focused on how great it will be to take a healthy baby home who is eating, gaining weight, etc.  I have to admit that I was on autopilot for nearly 14 weeks with DD.  I am so glad for you and your LO, however, in that it looks like LO just has to master a few things and has a good chance of going home.  I remember just kind of going through the motions during our NICU time, with intermittent moments of breaking down when I would just hit the wall.  Stay connected with friends and family, and come to our board when you need us. 

so far this is also my experience. it definitely becomes a routine and that in itself was helpful to me. some days are better than others, but i try to take it moment by moment.  

pcefern1

Like PP have said it's survival mode.  I've found I tend to feel guilty not being with DS.  But ours is an adoption and I'm two states away!  Just try to keep your head up and be strong for your LO.  She will be home soon!

Terrim2009

I agree that it is difficult to be separated.  Our LO was in the NICU for 9 weeks, and the first week I cried everytime I saw someone leaving the hospital with their baby.  But, this is the best thing for her, and I am sure she is in great hands.  Just try to enjoy the time with her in the hospital as much as possible.  Looking back, I am so thankful for that time spent with DS without all of the distractions at home (dishes to be done, phone ringing, etc).  It will go by so fast!