Any book recs about kids and lying? (or other tips)

Yodajo

Sam is turning into a lying liar lately, which is my #1 pet peeve.  Any book recs that you know of that may help or other tips on how to cut it out?  Whatever I'm doing is not working.

DandR

I'm guessing its a phase all kids go through to "test" if they can get away with it.

We don't let them get away with it. (both tay and Audrey have tested those waters..but seem MUCH better)

We explained the punishment was A because of the misbehavior, and B for lying about it...and B was always a bigger punishment.

And when they started telling the truth about things, we gave positive reinforcement.

it worked...but I can TOTALLY see how my girls are night and day different then Mitch...so not sure if it would work on boys.  LOL

noonecarewhoiam

Simply present him with what you know and ask him if he has anything to tell you. Give him some time to think about it if he needs it.

If he's lying as a way to stay out of trouble (which is why most kids lie), don't try to trap/catch him in a lie. All you'll do is turn him into a really, really good liar.

My Mom used to spank us until we told the truth--totally backfired. I am an excellent liar AND confessed to things I hadn't done (which is lying) to get the spankings to stop.

Dougsgirl4ever

It must be the age Makenna is doing the same thing.  She told me that daycare put soap in her mouth I talked to daycare & she about cried that DD would say that.  Then DD turned it into daycare (Lori) put soap in her own mouth.  She finally told us it wasn't true.  We told Makenna that it hurt Miss Lori's feelings when she said that & that about crushed her she is very concerned about hurting feelings.  So when we find her lying I tell her now that she hurts feelings when she lies & that people wont want to be around her is she does it.  It seems to be working for us.

xbrooklyngrl

B went through this phase as well and we read Pinochio and then I'd tell her that her nose was growing. She'd grab her nose and say "I was just kidding mama" She also lied about daycare stuff like Dougs and I had to explain thats serious because I'd go in there like a bat out of hell!

DandelionMom

We went with the "hurting feelings" thing too and that lying has much bigger consequences than the other misdeeds.   

And don't worry it is a very normal phase.

omurray

I just read an article online about this yesterday.  I can't seem to find the article now, but I remember a few things.  It basically said that at this age, the child typically doesn't 100% know the difference between reality and what they wish was reality.  It said to try not to draw a lot of attention to it.  You can find ways to state what actually happened without accusing them of lying or trying to get them to tell you why they lied.  It also said that lying in preschoolers actually signals appropriately developing social skills.  So, I think the basic jist of the article was that its annoying, but normal and to try to just state the truth without making a big deal.

omurray

I just read an article online about this yesterday.  I can't seem to find the article now, but I remember a few things.  It basically said that at this age, the child typically doesn't 100% know the difference between reality and what they wish was reality.  It said to try not to draw a lot of attention to it.  You can find ways to state what actually happened without accusing them of lying or trying to get them to tell you why they lied.  It also said that lying in preschoolers actually signals appropriately developing social skills.  So, I think the basic jist of the article was that its annoying, but normal and to try to just state the truth without making a big deal.

Ahhhh, found it  https://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/family/11/12/why.kids.lie/index.html

Yodajo

Thanks for the advice!

I kind of knew it was typical, but it was still bothering me when we'd talk about it and he'd do it again an hour later.  Anyway, I am going to try your advice!

Thanks for the link, omurray!  Off to read now!