Ugh, need some advice

DarthNBJenni

I'll call my attorney in the morning....but I need some advice now.

So ex sent me a text this morning saying he was planning on watching the girls when I go back to work next week (I'm a teacher). My mom has, for two years, come over to my house every day for free to do this. He barely manages to see them once or twice a month. I can't be late to work - I have students who rely on me to be in my room. Does he really think I can rely on him to watch the girls from 7:30-4? Our court order names me as primary custodian, and he has visitation Wednesday afternoon and EOW. It does say that if one of us needs a baby-sitter, the other parent will be the first person we ask. But I see this as child care, not baby-sitting. I'll be ok not to let the girls go with him, correct? 

Annnd, the reason he's now so ready to play daddy is because he QUIT HIS JOB to go back to school for the FIFTH time. Homeboy doesn't have 10 credit hours under his belt. He also said he won't be paying child support, or that it will be lower. I'm correct in thinking that if he voluntarily, or even was fired, stops working - he is still responsible for his set amount, right? 

Ugh, this is SO not what I needed now! 

mrgn

I think I've heard before that if they quit, or are even fired, the CS is calculated based on their earning potential. So, on that, you're right. I have no idea if child care and babysitting will be any different........ I hope they are, for your sake. But part of me thinks that it probably is the same in the eyes of the law.

PrincessFiona9

In MO the child support laws say if the person quits they are still liable to continue paying the full amount that was ordered.

r9stedt

Hellll no I wouldn't rely on him to be the primary daycare provider.  More than likely he will wake up one day and decide that it just "isn't his thing" leaving you in a horrible position.

Sorry he is such a twatwaffle.

hdy2102

It only makes sense to me that since you are the primary that you have say so who watches your LO's.  On the child support end, I'm really not sure what happens when the guy quits his job, I would think he would still have responsibility to pay.  Sorry I don't have more on those issues.  Good luck though and let us know what your lawyer says.

laurieb602

He will still be responsible to pay. I had a similar problem when Alyssa's dad was alive, you'll be fine there. Also, childcare for work == babysitting, with his proven track record there is no way I would depend on him and I don't think you'll have a problem. It would take him months to drag you into court over it and by then he will be back to his old ways anyway, kwim.

laurieb602

Oh and what the he'll is with texting something that important that needs to be discussed!? Does he only want to watch them next week or for the whole school year?

BMenz

DarthNBJenni:

I'll call my attorney in the morning....but I need some advice now.

So ex sent me a text this morning saying he was planning on watching the girls when I go back to work next week (I'm a teacher). My mom has, for two years, come over to my house every day for free to do this. He barely manages to see them once or twice a month. I can't be late to work - I have students who rely on me to be in my room. Does he really think I can rely on him to watch the girls from 7:30-4? Our court order names me as primary custodian, and he has visitation Wednesday afternoon and EOW. It does say that if one of us needs a baby-sitter, the other parent will be the first person we ask. But I see this as child care, not baby-sitting. I'll be ok not to let the girls go with him, correct? 

Yes you should be ok with not letting the girls go. I don't see you going back to work and him watching the girls as babysitting. That would be considered 'daycare.'  If he wants to take it upon himself on offering to take the girls when you're at work, then I think he should petition the courts for more parenting time....and include those hours that you would be at work.

Annnd, the reason he's now so ready to play daddy is because he QUIT HIS JOB to go back to school for the FIFTH time. Homeboy doesn't have 10 credit hours under his belt. He also said he won't be paying child support, or that it will be lower. I'm correct in thinking that if he voluntarily, or even was fired, stops working - he is still responsible for his set amount, right? 

Yes he would still be responsible for the current amount. When did your CO for CS go into effect? You can only ask for a review/change every two years so (based on what your backstory is, I don't think you're up for a review quite yet, so he'd be responsible for the current amount whether he likes it or not.)

DB quit his job right before CS was ordered because he thought that he would get out of paying/paying a less $ amount. They based it on his earning potential/what jobs were available in his area compared to what his skills were, and what his previous wages were.

Ugh, this is SO not what I needed now! 

fauxshelley

He cannot quit his job and expect to get out of paying cs.  Will not happen.  I agree that childcare and babysitting are two different things.  Even if they aren't, I wouldn't let him keep the girls while you work.  If he wants to file contempt over that, let him, and then show how many, many times he has bailed on the girls when he was supposed to babysitting.

What a headache!  Sorry you have to deal with this.

carrieannew

I would like to punch your ex. That is all. Freakin douche can not even take the girls when he should and he wants to watch them daily. Ya ok.

 

DarthNBJenni

I called and left a message with my paralegal, who will talk it over with my attorney and call me back. Knowing his history, and the fact his attorney was disgusted by him, she just scoffed at the whole situation. I'll keep you girls posted. 

I fully intend to let him take me back to court if he wants more visitation, or a lowering of child support. The first time he's late or offers a lower amount, I'll be down at the court house filing paperwork on his arrears. I mean, I'd love to quit my job and earn my Master's in less time! 

Cytina

carrieannew:

I would like to punch your ex. That is all. Freakin douche can not even take the girls when he should and he wants to watch them daily. Ya ok.

 

This was my first thought...

achase123

Yah, I think it's based on earning POTENTIAL.  10 credits and he wants to go back now....wow.  He sounds like he is SOOOO together.  What a fvcking loser.

Maybe Sweetie can best answer this....idk much about CS seeing that I just signed up with DCSS.