Attachment Parenting
Options
Tell me this is crazy -- would you surrogate for a stranger?
I see ads all the time for people to adopt and for egg donors -- do people ever seek out surrogate services from strangers?
Would you ever consider it? I would totally be an egg donor if I ovulated...so why not just grow the baby first and then donate it 
I imagine emotionally it would be much tougher than it sounds, but just curious if this sort of thing exists.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Tell me this is crazy -- would you surrogate for a stranger?
I could never do this. If I carried a child for 9 months, I would want to be that child's mother. I couldn't bear the idea of giving her to someone else.
Surrogacy does exist. It's governed by state laws so some states have more of it than others. In some states, the woman who gives birth to the baby is deemed the baby's mother and the parents have to legally adopt the child. In other states, the surrogate isn't deemed the mother and there is no need for an adoption.
There are some sad stories here. I read about a woman in Michigan (MI laws are not supportive of surrogacy) who hired a surrogate. The surrogate found out that the mother had some past mental health issues and refused to give up the baby. The mother had no legal recourse.
I could absolutely donate eggs, but I could not carry a baby for someone else.
Well I could, but I'm 90% sure they'd have to wrestle the baby off me at the end of it.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
Same here. But OP, good for you, if you can! I have friends who used a surrogate and had a great experience and have a gorgeous little girl now.
Really? I think I would only be comfortable going through an agency. It just seems more...formal?
Call me crazy cakes, but after posting, I did a bunch more research, talked to a local agency and talked to DH about it over dinner. I told him I didn't want him to immediately tell me what he thought but to think about it over the next few days, weigh the pros and cons as well as how he would feel about it emotionally, and then let me know what he thinks. Well see what he says
I suspect it won't be favorable, but he did seem interested and asked a lot of legit questions.
I couldn't be a surrogate (emotional issues aside, I have horrid pregnancy- bedrest, etc), but if I could, I actually think it would be easier to do it for somebody you don't know. If you see the baby all the time, I think it would be a bit like picking a scab. If you don't see the kiddo, it would be easier to forget and move on, I think.
I think there is a thread for surrogates on MDC. Honestly, I read it while I was bored and on bedrest... and it all seemed very weird to me. I'm not sure all the motivations were what they should be, and for doing something like that I think the reasons should be carefully examined. Pregnancy and pp hormones can do CRAZY things.
There is a surrogate forum that people post on (either looking for a surrogate or offering to carry a baby for someone). I don't think I could do it for a stranger, but I would think about doing it for someone close to me.
I had really horrible sickness for the first 20 weeks with both of my children. I could barely get out of bed and I was on an IV with one pregnancy. I think that part would make it too difficult for me, because my own children would suffer.
I honestly think I could carry a baby and then give it to someone (that I know). I know what it's like to be a mom, so I would love to give that gift to someone else. And as much as I love my babies while I'm pregnant, that real strong feeling doesn't kick in for me until they are born.