I apologize (TBPS)

Dee1028

angiegail brought this to my attention.

I am sorry that whoever made this did not feel comfortable to tell me how they felt and had to make a TBPS about it. 

So, I will make a mass apology and hope that whoever made it sees this. 

I am sorry that I offended you with my Frontierville 'child.' I could totally see how it could be offensive. 1- the term Bastard offends people 2- the fact that the character is black could be seen as offensive (and also the fact that I gave him an afro might make it look like I am stereotyping-I am not)

So let me explain. IF is a tricky thing and it's surprising what will upset you and send you into hysterics and sadly the fact that a stupid FB game made me feel that sadness is ridiculous. So when my Frontierville characters earned a baby, rather than make a character that could resemble me in any way I decided to make the opposite of me (a pale Canadian white girl) and I think I got carried away. I named him Bastard child because sadly, I cannot seem to conceive my own child and again I was trying to find a way to laugh about it.

It's utterly embarrassing that a stupid FB game cut into my IF sensitivity but as I said, sometimes it hits you at the weirdest times.

Please accept my sincerest apology for offending you, TBPS poster, and to anyone else I offended. I will be changing his look and you can ask any of my FB friends to confirm that I did do this (unless you are one of my FB friends, in which case...check yourself)

I hope you don't think that I am a racist or insensitive. I am sorry. 

Mrs.C042807

I just messaged you.

NavyClan

fwiw, I didn't think you were being racist or insensitive. While I could see how someone could come to those conclusions and think you were trying to make a statement or something, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I'd hope  most BOTBers know you well enough not to make those assumptions about you. 

buckin

And why wouldn't someone just tell you straight up they were offended?

 

Grow some balls people. 

 

I am assuming you posted this on here at some point ( I miss everything ). 

For whatever reason you did this, I can see how it would be offensive to someone no matter the skin color simply for the name. However, I am more sorry for the rough pain and emotions that you are experiencing right now. 

 

angiegail78

NavyClan:

fwiw, I didn't think you were being racist or insensitive. While I could see how someone could come to those conclusions and think you were trying to make a statement or something, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I'd hope  most BOTBers know you well enough not to make those assumptions about you. 

This.  I linked because I thought you'd like to know, not because I thought you were being racist. (And personally, I thought it was pretty funny.)

akalutts

::hugs Dee tightly::

I was a little surprised when this unfolded, but I was pretty sure where you were coming from (and what you've described above tells me I was right)- this was coming from a place of pain, not of hatred or discrimination. You have never, ever said anything to indicate that you are anything other than accepting of others.

More than anything, I was worried that certain posters would misunderstand and think this was coming from a racist place, instead of thinking it through and seeing how you were expressing all the pain of IF. I'm glad that you can see where others might not "get it," and that you are addressing it.

 

Scout05

I am just so sorry for the hard time you are having right now. It's not fair, and it really, really sucks.

pinkflipflops44

It's cool with me Dee.. I know you meant no harm.

crownedbee

buckin:

And why wouldn't someone just tell you straight up they were offended?

Because when you do that, you get flamed to high hell.

It's ok to hide behind an AE or TBPS, but when you post on the board under your real SN you get scorched.

Melaneigh1

((hugs))

 

Dee1028

Thank you for the support girls.

I truly am sorry and not looking for hugs or pity, if I offended someone and that person did not feel comfortable enough to talk to me about it personally (either by PM or by calling me out) and I wanted to apologize and explain. 

I was not looking for hugs or pity but am glad that some of you understand where I was coming from and know that I am not a mean spirited person. 

 

 

greenclown

Dee1028:

So let me explain. IF is a tricky thing and it's surprising what will upset you and send you into hysterics and sadly the fact that a stupid FB game made me feel that sadness is ridiculous. So when my Frontierville characters earned a baby, rather than make a character that could resemble me in any way I decided to make the opposite of me (a pale Canadian white girl) and I think I got carried away. I named him Bastard child because sadly, I cannot seem to conceive my own child and again I was trying to find a way to laugh about it.  

I missed whatever happened, but I just wanted to tell you that this makes a lot of sense to me.  It sounds completely silly to explain it, but I play the Sims.  Before Jillian died, I had a game going that had DH and me, and we had just had a baby girl named Jillian.  I haven't played that particular game since several hours before she was born, but in the new games I've built, the characters are the complete opposites of everything about us and all of the kids are adopted because I can't handle my stupid characters being KU.  Like I said, it's totally silly, but I just wanted to know your reasoning behind the lack of resemblance makes total sense to me. 

ohashlet

NavyClan:

fwiw, I didn't think you were being racist or insensitive. While I could see how someone could come to those conclusions and think you were trying to make a statement or something, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I'd hope  most BOTBers know you well enough not to make those assumptions about you. 

 

This, and I also want to share how sorry I am that things are difficult right now. I wish I could take all that pain away.

kayash

I didn't think you were being offensive. I haven't "known" you for long but I think I know you well enough to know that you would never do that. And I totally understand your reasons for why you did it.

And fwiw, if there is anyone who I think would be cool with someone being like "hey, not cool" it would be you. So people should def just tell you things, I would.

Ashleyyyyy

This makes me really sad. I didn't find it offensive, but I guess I could see why someone would. I'm sorry you are hurting over this. ::hugs::