how do I help someone who's miscarrying after IVF?

seagirl10

I heard through the grapevine that a woman I work with (who I would consider a friend) just recently miscarried.  I know she just went through IVF (she's talked to me about it), too.  For those of you who have had the very unfortunate experience of going through this yourself (or if you've had someone close to you have this happen), can you give me any suggestions about how to help her?  I feel just awful.

RileyGrace

You say, "I'm so sorry for your loss" and that's it.  Let her talk about it if she wants to, but don't bring it up or anything.  And I wouldn't even say you're sorry unless she's told you herself or made it clear that it's okay for you to discuss.  Some people dont' want to talk about it at all, even just to say I'm sorry.

 

JennyV0418

My best friend miscarried last Aug and has been unable to get KU again since... I found just giving her a hug and letting her know I was there if SHE wanted to talk was an okay thing to do.  Then again, this was my BFF (like a sister), not a co-worker so it may be a different situation. I just know the thought of it brought her to full tears so I never really wanted to mention it.

Everyone's different. I like Riley's advice.

Sweets11

I think it depends on your relationship with the woman.  IMO, if you heard the news through the grapevine you should wait for her to confide in you.

If she's a close friend, I would just let her know that you are sorry and that you are there for her.