Need your advice...(a little long)

Ren's bride

I mostly post over on Infertility but thought maybe the ladies here could give me some insight on a decision I have to make.  Here's the situation:  I just turned 41 last week and got a negative beta yesterday from my 4th IVF cycle, which we had to pay out of pocket because we'd already done the three IVFs that my insurance covers per lifetime.  Now DH and I have to decide between the following :

1. Pay out of pocket again for another IVF cycle now with current RE

2. Wait until Nov when I can change my insurance then do IVF #5 with current RE in Jan when the new coverage kicks in

3. Change ins in Nov but do IVF #5 in Jan with a NEW RE

Tomorrow is my appt with my current RE to discuss this latest negative and next steps but I also scheduled a consultation for Monday with a new RE just to see what, if anything, they would do differently or in addition to what my current RE has done.  (Although I don't see how that's possible since it seems like I already do everything under the sun.)  We have some credit card debt and pretty much exhausted our savings from non-covered expenses during the first three IVFs plus #4 that was completely oop, and also for IVFs #3 an 4 we had to pay oop for PGD testing since the company that does that doesn't accept any insurance at all.  Of course I'm afraid to wait til Jan because by then I'll be halfway to 42 but I'm also afraid to get ourselves into a bad financial situation and what if we still get a negative??  Then we'll be doubly in debt and still will have to change ins and wait for Jan anyway.  I feel like I'm in a Catch-22 and I just keep going back and forth in my mind about what to do... I'm going to discuss all of this with my RE tomorrow but wanted some feedback from your personal experiences so thanks in advance!

cupcakeandmoose

That's a lot to take in.  First off, although I've been trying for a while to conceive the most assistance I've gotten was one month of clomid/progesterone (no monitoring or anything else).  Therefore, I don't even know what "negative beta" means but clearly it means you're not pregnant.  I guess it wouldn't hurt to get a second opinion but how much further you extend yourself financially is a decision only you can make.  Do what your heart (and your DH's heart) tells you.  If that's to do IVF #5 now oop then do it.  If it's to wait until you switch insurance and do it in January then that's fine too.  I understand the biological clock ticking thing and the pressure that puts on us.  If it were me, and I had the means to pay for another round of IVF now I'd probably do it.  I can't ever have patients and I usually don't care how long it will take to pay something off because it's what I want right THEN!!  It's not a good quality but it's how I am. 

I hope you find the decision that's right for you and DH.  Best of luck to you tomorrow and in your future.   

*Chicken*

I'm so sorry about your -beta those can be crushing.

I am the least patient person on this planet so I would want to rush into another IVF but logically (a.k.a my husband) we would wait until Jan.  This way we would be able to replenish our savings some and not have to spend as much come Jan than we would if we did it now.

I guess, I would look at it as this, will going into another IVF cycle right away cause a long financial hardship or will it be one that you will be able to get out of quickly especially if you do get pregnant/have a baby? Will it even cause a financial hardship or will it just drain your savings that, again, you can replenish relatively easily?

If it will be a long financial hardship and/or you won't be able to replenish you savings a little quickly. I might consider waiting until Jan.

pnltybox

First, I'm sorry about your beta and for the long TTC struggle you've gone through so far.

Your decision is not easy!  If it were me, I would go with option #2 or #3.  This would depend on how much you like and trust your current RE and also on how your appt with the new RE turns out.  While I'm also VERY impatient, I also have anxiety about spending large amounts of money, especially if it would mean the stress of having a larger financial burden to carry.......especially since there are no guaruntees that IVF#5 will be successful (I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but that's the reality of the situation). While it would no doubt kill me to wait until Jan to begin treatments again (no matter the RE), I wouldn't be able to risk all that money on something that may not work out, and in which case, I would STILL continue treatment in Jan with my new insurance anyway.  If you didn't have the option of your insurance covering it, or you had enough reserve savings to comfortably pay for it, I would say go, do it now!

Whatever your choice, I wish you good luck and tons of sticky dust!

cutebride73

Does your RE or the other RE have a shared risk program?  I know my RE's office does.  You end up paying double the cost of one cycle, but you get 3 fresh and 3 frozen IVF cycles.  The thing is if you are successful and have a take-home baby then you lose all the unused cycles.  Of course, if you have any frozen eggs left then I assume (although I am not positive) that you could pay OOP to use them later to try for another child. 

If you are not successful then I *think* you get some of the money back, not all though.  I am sorry I am not sure of all the details b/c I am not at that point yet. 

If one of them has a program like that I would consider doing that - especially if it would covered in part or entirely in January.  Just a thought.  I wish you the best in trying to make your decision. 

soon-to-beamrs

If it were me, I would do #2.  I know it sucks to wait but it's a lot of money to spend OOP and November isn't that far away to get the process started.  As long as you're happy with your RE, I would continue to use him since he knows what has/hasn't worked for you in the past and it could take longer to get the process going with a new RE.  Good luck!