Struggling.

howleyshell

I just went back to work after a year off.

On one hand it's HEAVEN to get away from the kids.  I really look forward to seeing them at the end of the day.  I feel like I've got more patience for them and I'm generally a better mom when I have some adult interaction and the chance to accomplish non-domestic things during a day.

 

But....

Dylan turns 4 today.

And he starts pre-school next week (we've always been fortunate enough to have nannies in our home so this is his first "away from home" schooling)

I know these are all wonderful milestones.

He's growing up.

He's happy.

He's healthy.

He's amazing.

 

But.....  I'm kinda sad.

 

Where did my baby go?

 

And what all am I going to miss by not being there the way I have been for the past year? 

Mrs.Hubbard

Well...I have always had to work.  I would love to be able to stay home, but financially it is just not an option unless we totally changed our lives (like move, sell my car for something without a payment etc).  I know I miss stuff, but I try not to think about that.  I try to focus on the positives like they are getting to interact with other kids, I get to have some interaction with adults, I like my job, I get to stay home for the summer and  a couple weeks during the holidays...

P turned 3 in May and I was sad about him getting so big.  Now K is 4 months and I almost feel the same way about her.  It's all just going to fast, but I know that is just part of it you can't do anything to stop it.  They will be okay.  Good luck!!

KUJayhawkBride

I hear you. It is a huge sea of emotions, especially as a working mom. I don't discredit SAHMs whatsoever, but it's a different world being a working mom. I love my job, I love the people, I love what I do and I love feeling needed in my skill set. I don't think I could ever go back to being a SAHM (like I did D's first year). I have so much more patience with her now and a great balance.

There are days I definitely don't want to go into work. I want to stay and hug my baby all day. But guess what...she's not a baby anymore! I hate that she is growing up, but I'm excited for her as well.

She LOVES school. She learns so much and has friends and it's so great to see that. I'm sure yours will love preschool as well! It will be so neat to see the things he will learn and grow from school.

It never gets easier, but all you can do is live one day at a time and cherish every moment you have.

Good luck with the transition! 

Pesky

 You've done a great job.  And it's okay to be a little sad at how quickly D is growing and becoming more independent.  That's normal and natural.  Please -- I'm a sappy mess and DS is just moving up to the toddler room!!

neverblushed

Ugh, Howley -- I hear ya!

I'm going back to the classroom at the end of the summer.  It'll be great, because I really love teaching, and it's a good job when you're a mom, because you have summers and holidays off.  And, the money will certainly beat my part-time tutoring job that I've been doing since DS was born.  BUT...

I won't be volunteering in DS's kindergarten class like I did DD's -- because I'll be busy in my own classroom.

I won't be chaperoning DD's field trips anymore.

I won't be making homemade bread every Friday in the fall and winter.

I probably won't sew my kids' Halloween costumes from scratch this year.

I know I should be feeling lucky that I've had a chance to do all that stuff AND still keep my foot in the door at work AND get my job back without a struggle.  But I'm just mourning the end of an era!

ecoppins

It's tough, both ways. I worked for dd1's itty bitty years, and decided to stay home after dd2 and I think of all the things I missed with dd1 that I am getting now with dd2. I also feel guilty *thinking* about sending dd1 to a 2 day a week morning preschool given that we made so many sacrifices for me to stay home. What I did while working to make it bearable on the days when all I wanted to do was stay and play with dd at home was think of all the benefits she got from being at school and me working and ignore the rest. that is what i do now when i get stressed out and feel cut off and unadult and like my skill set is filled with "proficiently cleans up spit up" is to focus on all the blessings I having being with them. 

brightning

That must be really hard.

james_lover

I know exactly how you feel.  In Canada we're fortunate enough to have one year maternity leaves, so I got to be at home with my babies and I treasure that time I had with them.  I was a wreck both times I returned to work.  But, it does and will get easier.  Seeing my kids have so much fun at daycare and seeing them socialize and interact with other kids has been so great.  I know that they're well cared for while I'm at work and I know they're having so much fun.  Kids grow up so fast, it really is sad.  I can't believe that I'll be registering DD for JK in about 6 months.  Where does the time go???  Hang in there.

abpdjs

KUJayhawkBride:

I hear you. It is a huge sea of emotions, especially as a working mom. I don't discredit SAHMs whatsoever, but it's a different world being a working mom. I love my job, I love the people, I love what I do and I love feeling needed in my skill set. I don't think I could ever go back to being a SAHM (like I did D's first year). I have so much more patience with her now and a great balance.

There are days I definitely don't want to go into work. I want to stay and hug my baby all day. But guess what...she's not a baby anymore! I hate that she is growing up, but I'm excited for her as well.

She LOVES school. She learns so much and has friends and it's so great to see that. I'm sure yours will love preschool as well! It will be so neat to see the things he will learn and grow from school.

It never gets easier, but all you can do is live one day at a time and cherish every moment you have.

Good luck with the transition! 

ditto!  (((hugs))) it's tough watching your kids grow up any way you swing it.