Sometimes you start packing and stumble upon...

michrocc

...m/c relics.

Last December, when we lost Bean, we had this vague idea that, at some point in time, we'd create a memory box for him/her.  I bought the box and everything.

And then the months rolled by and I didn't forget but I didn't necessarily remember, either.

We have to be out of our apartment this Saturday and so I've been plodding through all of our things.  About five minutes ago I found "The Stash."

Among the items:

1) Various cards from co-workers, friends, and family members

2) A "helpful" book from the hospital called "Miscarriage and You."  I did not find it to be helpful, but can't bring myself to throw this away.

3) My prescription for painkillers (why I kept this I have no clue...perhaps because I have a museum background I felt the need to represent both sides of this situation - the good and the very bad)

4) A card I received from the grief nurse at the hospital, which arrived only 2+ months late because she misplaced our file

5) A note from DH apologizing for his family's behavior after the m/c and vowing to be the best husband he can be for me.  It also says that he loves me now more than ever and that he knows we'll have our family someday.  It made me cry today just as it did last December.

These things will eventually go in the box, which I'll keep until the day I die. 

Scout05

I hate stumbling across those.

B.C.'s box - with the one and only u/s photo (you can see his sweet little spine and arm buds) - is in a drawer. It also has a letter I wrote him in the two hours where I was the only one who knew he was in there - I thought that was such a precious time, just him and me.

I know I'll always keep it.

michrocc

ambrandau2:

I hate stumbling across those.

B.C.'s box - with the one and only u/s photo (you can see his sweet little spine and arm buds) - is in a drawer. It also has a letter I wrote him in the two hours where I was the only one who knew he was in there - I thought that was such a precious time, just him and me.

I know I'll always keep it.

Allison, that's beautiful.  I think that's one of the things I miss most...that feeling, which I can't describe, of being connected to...everything.  Of being a part of history, and the world, and Motherhood, like all the women before you.  I can't describe it.  Clearly.

But I understand.

DoingItRight

{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}  I just found the bag that the doctor's office gave me along with the ultrasound pictures.  It just makes me so sad.

Scout05

michrocc:

ambrandau2:

I hate stumbling across those.

B.C.'s box - with the one and only u/s photo (you can see his sweet little spine and arm buds) - is in a drawer. It also has a letter I wrote him in the two hours where I was the only one who knew he was in there - I thought that was such a precious time, just him and me.

I know I'll always keep it.

Allison, that's beautiful.  I think that's one of the things I miss most...that feeling, which I can't describe, of being connected to...everything.  Of being a part of history, and the world, and Motherhood, like all the women before you.  I can't describe it.  Clearly.

But I understand.

You described it perfectly.

:::Hugs:::

butterfly843

((hugs)) We have a memorial box from the hospital that I added all the ultrasound photos to and the pumpkin hats I ordered from etsy that were suppose to be for their first trip to the pumpkin patch.

writergirl5786

i have a drawer. full of things from each pregnancy.

April Baby: we have the u/s pics from the pregnancy center we went to where my mom works. so we got a gift from them as well. the package from my dr's office--books, pamphlets, etc. my mom had bought a blanket and sleeper. i knit a sweater. my little riley dude (boy i watch) bought two books (with his own money. he's 3. how cute) then came the m/c. where the center sent me tons of literature/booklets etc. so much can accumulate in 9 short weeks.

February Baby: we didn't really accumulate much in the week we had with this baby. however, i did not want our forever baby to not have any hand me downs from this angel sibling. so in my weekend of wondering and waiting for my b/w results, so i picked up a cute elephant outfit and stuffed animal and blanket. so the drawer is full.

jdeats71

Oh hon - I'm so sorry.  Big hugs to you.

where are you moving?  PM later if you need to chat!

ikissedthecook

((((hugs)))))

I only have two u/s pictures from our last baby. I was so afraid to buy anything in case I lost it. If I had only known that the pain of not having anything would be so much greater... but now its too late.

P.S. I hope you all don't mind I'm responding to a post in the TTCAL 6+ board.

triple_sevens

ambrandau2:

michrocc:

ambrandau2:

I hate stumbling across those.

B.C.'s box - with the one and only u/s photo (you can see his sweet little spine and arm buds) - is in a drawer. It also has a letter I wrote him in the two hours where I was the only one who knew he was in there - I thought that was such a precious time, just him and me.

I know I'll always keep it.

Allison, that's beautiful.  I think that's one of the things I miss most...that feeling, which I can't describe, of being connected to...everything.  Of being a part of history, and the world, and Motherhood, like all the women before you.  I can't describe it.  Clearly.

But I understand.

You described it perfectly.

:::Hugs:::

All of this is making me want to cry right now. That is just how I felt when I was pregnant. So amazing to walk around and know you didn't look any different but the most precious, wonderful thing in the world was happening inside you. It was so overwhelmingly beautiful.

I have an envelope in my bedside table drawer with our one u/s photo (we never got a print out of the "this might not be going well" shots) and my one peestick. It's still positive, 9 months later. I carried it in my bag everywhere I went the entire pregnancy. I don't know if I'll ever be able to throw it away.