Baby Shower Invite "wording"

shoegirl00

Hi Ladies, 

 I have a question. I know some dont agree with this but i wanted to know what the proper wording for baby shower invitations are when you have to ask the guest to contribute to paying for themselves example: at a restaurant. im helping out a friend and we cant figure out what to write.

thank you 

UrbanHippieMama

momofbeans

Maybe just in small print at the bottom say something like "Guest are responsible for their own bill." I would say instead of writing it w/ all the info of the baby shower to do it at the bottom.

 

1BabyFritsch

I would just say something like "shower will be held at Blah blah restraunt food and drinks will not be provided but you are welcome to order your own meal or something like that

LCB34

Please tell me you are joking.

Nothing about that is acceptable.  EVER.

Mrs. K in TX

Umm, you don't have the shower at a restaurant.  You have it at someone's house, and you just serve light appetizers and/or dessert and punch.

wife1014

You DON'T.  If you have to ask guests to pay their way, you shouldn't be having a shower.  End of discussion.

I am almost hoping this is MUD.

CelticWife

I believe this was asked on the baby shower board this morning. https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/40217950.aspx

My favorite response was by StephM

"We're throwing a shower, but you'll have to pay your own way
don't forget that baby need things for sleep and for play
Bring a book instead of a card, and a case of diapers, too
No character stuff please, or I'll complain about you."

To my knowledge, there is no polite or correct wording.

momofbeans

Yeah, I know I don't agree with it either. I think it would be best just to have a shower at a house w/ cake and punch than have people pay at a restaurant, but really she isn't asking what people think of the idea, but rather how she should put it in the invites.

OP, just so you are aware, some may not go, some may think it's innapropriate, and some may not get a gift because they are having fork over extra money for the shower. I'm sure you've thought about all this and have weighed out all the options and this is what is best.

BallSox

Roses are red, violets are blue, we are too cheap, so here's what to do:

Buy me/her a present, that's step number 1, then come to the restaurant to join in the fun.  If your wallet is empty, your belly will be too, because sure as hell, we ain't paying for you!  

UrbanHippieMama

wife1014:

I am almost hoping this is MUD.

I'm guessing it is.  There was a huge debate about this on the Baby Showers board.

LCB34

BallSox:

Roses are red, violets are blue, we are too cheap, so here's what to do:

Buy me/her a present, that's step number 1, then come to the restaurant to join in the fun.  If your wallet is empty, your belly will be too, because sure as hell, we ain't paying for you!  

Yes - this is perfect!  A poem always softens the blow of saying "I am cheap ass and won't be paying for you."

 

UrbanHippieMama

BallSox:

Roses are red, violets are blue, we are too cheap, so here's what to do:

Buy me/her a present, that's step number 1, then come to the restaurant to join in the fun.  If your wallet is empty, your belly will be too, because sure as hell, we ain't paying for you!  

  Nailed it.

Buggygirl84

firsttimemama:

wife1014:

I am almost hoping this is MUD.

I'm guessing it is.  There was a huge debate about this on the Baby Showers board.

Not only that, but this is the first post by this person... convenient, no?

mchupie

I'm sorry, but I don't think there is any 'proper' way to word the invitation when you're asking guests to pay for themselves.  No matter how you word it, people are going to think it's tacky and rude.

wife1014

BallSox:

Roses are red, violets are blue, we are too cheap, so here's what to do:

Buy me/her a present, that's step number 1, then come to the restaurant to join in the fun.  If your wallet is empty, your belly will be too, because sure as hell, we ain't paying for you!  

this is it!

mama_cito95

Instead of throwing the party at a restaurant and asking guests to go Dutch, couldn't it just be thrown at someone's house and cheap appetizers/horderves be made and served?  Doesn't have to be fancy stuff. Finger sandwhiches.  Heck chips and dip. Throw the party right after lunch time so that people would have/should have already eaten.  It be tough to have to pay for your own meal and be expected to buy a gift as well.  I would send the gift and not attend the shower if that was the case.

BallSox

LCB34:

BallSox:

Roses are red, violets are blue, we are too cheap, so here's what to do:

Buy me/her a present, that's step number 1, then come to the restaurant to join in the fun.  If your wallet is empty, your belly will be too, because sure as hell, we ain't paying for you!  

Yes - this is perfect!  A poem always softens the blow of saying "I am cheap ass and won't be paying for you."

 

I find  a sweet poem is kind of like the roofie some college guy slips in your drink before he nails you in the pooper.  It softens the blow when you're about to get screwed. 

Buggygirl84

BallSox:

LCB34:

BallSox:

Roses are red, violets are blue, we are too cheap, so here's what to do:

Buy me/her a present, that's step number 1, then come to the restaurant to join in the fun.  If your wallet is empty, your belly will be too, because sure as hell, we ain't paying for you!  

Yes - this is perfect!  A poem always softens the blow of saying "I am cheap ass and won't be paying for you."

 

I find  a sweet poem is kind of like the roofie some college guy slips in your drink before he nails you in the pooper.  It softens the blow when you're about to get screwed. 

OMG - HAHAHAHA!

NewFamily09

Is there anyway she can NOT do this?  It seems kind of rude to host a party, especially a shower, at a restaurant but not cover the bill.  If she can't afford to pay for people's meals, have it somewhere else.  That's a lot to put on the guests.

Laura & Harrison

Sadly, I've been to a baby shower at a restaurant - Olive Garden.

I thought it was strange, and everyone in the restaurant stared at us the whole time.

It was for a good friend of mine - her co-workers threw it for her. It was, um, klassy. 

I agree with everyone that it should be at someone's house. BUT, having been to a restaurant one before, I would automatically assume that I would be paying for my own food/drinks.

str8ota

BallSox:

Roses are red, violets are blue, we are too cheap, so here's what to do:

Buy me/her a present, that's step number 1, then come to the restaurant to join in the fun.  If your wallet is empty, your belly will be too, because sure as hell, we ain't paying for you!  

How did you know poetry was a big turn-on for me?

If you can't afford it at a restaurant then don't have it at a restaurant.  This isn't a frat byob party, it's a baby shower where I'm sure there will be a registry for gifts.  See if immediate family (mother, MIL, sister, SIL) can each bring a dish to pass if things are that tight.

hewinked

One of my friend's shower was at a restaurant.  But it was in a back room that we reserved and it was like a buffet of food that we took care of for the guests.  I don't think there is a polite way of asking people to pay.  If it was at a restaurant, I would just assume food was taken care of for me.  If you need to save money, have it at someone's home, like others have said. 

Mama_SAS

hewinked:

One of my friend's shower was at a restaurant.  But it was in a back room that we reserved and it was like a buffet of food that we took care of for the guests.  I don't think there is a polite way of asking people to pay.  If it was at a restaurant, I would just assume food was taken care of for me.  If you need to save money, have it at someone's home, like others have said. 

This. My MIL hosted my shower at a restaurant, we had a private room and MIL paid for the food and some wine for everyone. 

 

 

hermione76

If you are going to have it at a restaurant you can't have people pay for the food. It's so tacky and rude to ask someone to do that. I would just send a gift and skip the shower. 

SweetPeanis

BallSox:

Roses are red, violets are blue, we are too cheap, so here's what to do:

Buy me/her a present, that's step number 1, then come to the restaurant to join in the fun.  If your wallet is empty, your belly will be too, because sure as hell, we ain't paying for you!  

And this is why we are secret lovers.  Because you always know how to make something tacky a little prettier.

stbmittleman

Laura & Harrison:

Sadly, I've been to a baby shower at a restaurant - Olive Garden.

I thought it was strange, and everyone in the restaurant stared at us the whole time.

It was for a good friend of mine - her co-workers threw it for her. It was, um, klassy. 

I agree with everyone that it should be at someone's house. BUT, having been to a restaurant one before, I would automatically assume that I would be paying for my own food/drinks.

I threw my BFF's bridal shower at a restaurant and the bridesmaids payed for the guests. If we couldn't have afforded to do that, we would have thrown the shower at someone's house. I would be put off if I had to pay for my own meal and purchase a gift for the guest of honor.

AimeeL85

On top of what everyone else said about the fact that it is completely tacky, I kind of doubt a restaurant would even accommodate a party that I assume is probably going to be at least 25 people, with each of them having their own check. What a PITA for all involved. It's perfectly fine to have a shower at a restaurant provided whoever is hosting it can afford to foot the bill.

mmclaussen

It could be worded as a "no host luncheon" at the location.

However, I have to agree with pp that a restaurant wont want to split a bill that many ways. If someone doesnt want to host it at their house, you could always do it at a park or community center and you could have cake and drinks.

Laura & Harrison

stbmittleman:

Laura & Harrison:

Sadly, I've been to a baby shower at a restaurant - Olive Garden.

I thought it was strange, and everyone in the restaurant stared at us the whole time.

It was for a good friend of mine - her co-workers threw it for her. It was, um, klassy. 

I agree with everyone that it should be at someone's house. BUT, having been to a restaurant one before, I would automatically assume that I would be paying for my own food/drinks.

I threw my BFF's bridal shower at a restaurant and the bridesmaids payed for the guests. If we couldn't have afforded to do that, we would have thrown the shower at someone's house. I would be put off if I had to pay for my own meal and purchase a gift for the guest of honor.

 

I think a bridal shower is much more formal than a baby shower and would not have assumed that I would be paying. I guess just knowing the people that were throwing this baby shower - I knew it would be guests paying.