WTD? (long)

mrs.winter

HI Ladies,

So I need some advice.  My mother is in the hospital with some heart issues.  They are not sure if it is a blockage or if she just has a weak heart.   We won't know that until the Dr. is able to do more tests once she is stronger. 

Ashton's first b-day bash is schedule for the 15th of August.  I have sent invites, put a deposit on a bubble show and have hired a photographer. My mom was going to fly out from Aug 3 - 24 since she really wanted to be here for his 1st b-day. It is really important to her to celebrate this.  I almost think she is more excited than I am.

So what do I do?  My mom is the world to me and I know how much she loves Ashton. My heart is telling me to cancel the party and flying home with Ashton and Adam to celebrate his party with my mom and the rest of my family. And just to give her a hug, honestly. I hate being this far when something goes wrong. Many of you know my Dad had a triple A last year and almost died while my mom was here visiting us.  I don't want to have the same regret as I did then. 

We would try to leave in a few weeks. We need to get some things in line with work and our dog.

I know what I want to do in my heart, but my dad keeps "saying what if she needs to have a surgery later...she will really need you then." 

What would you do?  I am even at the point where I just feel that we need to move back to MD to be closer to them.  I am an only child and I feel like it's time for me to step it up and help them out as much as they've helped me. 

Thanks if  you've read this much:-)

Married2MrWright

Big hugs to you...

As you may recall, we were faced with similar circumstances, which is how we've ended up here in OK. 

It seems you already know what the best choice is for your family...I cannot imagine that if you go through with your party, as planned, you'll be happy about it.  Given the circumstances, I'd hope that your vendors would be more than understanding.

So...personally?  I'd do exactly what you're suggesting...cancel the party plans and get yourselves back East to see your mom.  Ashton will never be sad that he didn't have a grand first bday bash, but he will be sad if something happens to grandma and he didn't get to spend as much time as possible with her.  You too.  And yes, going now doesn't mean that if she needs you later you cannot/won't go again.  For us, that sort of thing was what motivated us to leave CA and come here...so we could be closer to MIL if/when she needed us, especially after she had three grave emergency hospitalizations in two years. 

Yes, it was stressful, but not nearly as much as being 1500 miles away and having to drop everything/re-arrange our lives to hop on a plane to do it.  And we keep the perspective that nothing is permanent.  Once she no longer needs us, we are open to moving again.  But for now, we're glad to have the time together and thrilled that Libby gets to see both of her grandmothers on a regular basis.

I am sending tons of positive, healing vibes to you and your mom...I hope everything is fine and that you, Adam, and Ashton can celebrate Ashton's birthday with her in MD. Sounds like exactly what her heart and your heart needs right now.

SanHawaii08

I couldn't say it any better than what Lori's written.  Lots of healing thoughts for your mom, I hope she's okay.  hugs.

MrsNJSwimmer

{{{big hugs}}}

I agree with pp

MrsZiz

Renee

We picked up and moved across the ocean to be closer to our families once my mom got diagnosed so I'm sure you know what I'm about to say When my mom got diagnosed with cancer, I hopped a plane and came to MO to be there for her testing. My dad (they are divorced I should add) said "just wait, she'll REALLY need you when/if she has to do chemo"... I poundered the thought and then said *uck it and came home. I was there for all of her testing and she was SO thankful I was. She went through most of her chemo's without me, while they were hard on her, she STILL talks about how I was there during the most stressful time for her, the figuring it all out time. Am I glad I went? YES! Do I regret not going later and going when I did? NO.

I would talk with your vendors and see if you can change things... maybe you can get your deposits back but if not, maybe you can reschedule them for another time... in the end, it's not like Ashton will know! In all honesty, B's birthday parties (one in KC and one here) were great but they were VERY stressful! So much to plan/coordinate, so many things to worry about, would she be fussy, would she nap like normal, would she throw a fit during the party, would she have a meltdown from too many people in her face... you get the idea... it was fun don't get me wrong but I'm SO glad it's over!

As for being with your mom, I would go... in the end, family is what life is all about. You won't regret it, your mom will appreciate it and she'll enjoy spending time with you and Ashton and Adam. 

That's my 2 cents! good luck, I know what a difficult decision it is and I understand being SO far away from your family. There were times I hated the ocean because I knew the distance it created.... it was a love hate thing... Do I love being back in the midwest? Yeah its great to be closer to family? Do I miss being in HI? Of course, it's amazing there! Am I glad we made the decision to move and would I do it again? In a heartbeat!! 

mrs.winter

Thank you ladies for making me feel better about my decision. I've canceled all my vendors (but I've not heard back from them) and we've booked our tickets.  My mom is sounding better but she has a long road ahead of her.

I will keep you posted on how things are going.  What would I do without your wonderful, supportive ladies:-) Hugs!

MrsIH

I am so glad to hear you are going to fly over and be with her!  I think Sarah's advice was invaluable as well, I can't say it any better.  Have a safe trip and just imagine how you will uplift her spirits just by being there. *hugs*

MrsZiz

Good for you Renee! Keep us posted on your mom!

myday1708

Hugs to you. Hard decision but I think you made the right call. Where in MD do your parents live? We're in Bethesda. Let me know if you are close enough and need to borrow a stroller or PnP? 

parrotgirl

mrs.winter:

Thank you ladies for making me feel better about my decision. I've canceled all my vendors (but I've not heard back from them) and we've booked our tickets.  My mom is sounding better but she has a long road ahead of her.

I will keep you posted on how things are going.  What would I do without your wonderful, supportive ladies:-) Hugs!

I think you made the right choice. Have a safe flight and enjoy the time with your mom and family!! hugs!!

inamra

So sorry to hear this =( And lots of hugs to you and your family.

I would go with your heart and cancel the party and go. Like you said, you wouldn't want to regret it. I hope all the logistics work out and I'm sure Ashton will have a great birthday celebrating with his grandma and family. And it will mean a lot of your mom.

Wishing you (and your mom) the best. I hope she recovers soon.

ETA: Saw your post. I'm sure your mom will be really happy to see you soon. Have a smooth trip!

jaysgirljulie

I think you made the right decision in going, you won't regret it. Hugs to you and lots of healthy thoughts for your mom.