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Undecided :( BF vs. Formula Feeding???

HI Girls,

I need HELP!?!

Everybody & their mother has asked & given their opinion on breast feeding vs. Formula Feeding & I know its a sore subject but I need advice ....and I feel guilty everytime I say I am undecided :( I would like to know if anyone exclusively formula fed & how your experience has been especially with nosy family & friends asking personal questions!!! I would love to hear about breast feeding experiences as well.... I know i mostly lurk but I need HELP!!!!!

TIA

Evelyn

Re: Undecided :( BF vs. Formula Feeding???

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    We tried BFing, but it didn't work out for us, so we did exclusive formula from about 2 weeks on. It was annoying when people would ask me if I BF'd cause I felt like a failure, but in the end none of that really matters. I was able to put DD on a good schedule with bottle feeding early on, and she has always been a very happy, healthy, and now a very smart child! Either way you go is fine, you do what works for you and don't worry about what everyone thinks!
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    I never had the "urge" to bf. Not before, during or after my pregnancy. I don't care that others do it- but it just isn't for me. I never even tried & when I arrived at the hospital in labor, I asked for bottles before an epidural. From the minute people knew I was pregnant- my breasts became a freaking conversation piece. Why people I don't even know very well, felt like it was ok to discuss my boobs- I don't know. Anyhow, whatever you decide- it's your decision & don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. The important thing is that you feed your baby, whether it's formula or breast.
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    AlbahAlbah member
    Hi! Unfortunately this is always going to be a "touchy" subject for many but it really shouldn't be. The benefits of BFing are well known and proven but if it doesn't work out for any reason, it should not be seen as a failure...the baby will do just fine either way! I BFed with my 1st and plan to do the same this time around. I am not going to lie, it was not easy! We had a rough first couple of weeks with latching issues and thinking the baby was not getting enough; but this seems to be pretty common. Once I surpassed that initial challenge, we were cruising and did not stop until E was 13 months old. I exclusively BFed for the first 2.5 months then had to go back to work. I pumped at work religiously every 4-5 hours and left that milk with my mom to bottle feed the baby. So he never received any formula except for a small amount in the first week of life. Whenever I was home I  would put the pump away and BFed baby directly, including at night. Sleep-wise we were up every 2-3 hours in the beginning, then 3-4 hours, then eventually about every 5-6 hours BFing. He did not sleep throug the night until we completely weaned him off. I am extremely happy we were able to experience it and it was worth the time, effort, sacrifice during work and sleep! I truly became just as emotionally attached to the BFing as the baby did. Stopping was bittersweet.  But like I said, this may not be for everyone, but it can't hurt to give it a try!
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    BFP #4: 05/23/12, EDD: 01/31/12, Early MC at 5 wks

    RPL Workup: + LPD (7DPO Prog = 7.8, Endometrial Bx = out of phase)
    Elevated Alpha 2-glycoprotein IgA and antiphosphatidylserine IgM -->
    Hematologist said not to worry and no need for treatment!

    Dx: LPD
    Cycle #1(08/2012): Clomid 50 mg CD3-7, Ovidrel CD13 + Progesterone = It worked!
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    I'd have to recommend that you go with whatever works. Some women have their hearts set on BF then when they actually try it doesn't work out and they are devasted. I always planned on BF exclusively but my daughters were in league against me lol. I ended up pumping exclusively with DD1 for 5 months before she latched on and then I was just starting to supplement with formula so she got a mix of both. Then DD2 also did not want to latch and I've been pumping for almost six months but am now beginning to supplement with formula as well.

    The reason I wanted to BF was mostly because I believe that BM has great benefits, specifically helping the baby with immunity. My first DD never got a cold until after I stopped BF. Then again I've heard formula moms say the same thing so I can't judge. I also have always had a sensitive stomach and in my mind I figured that BM would be easier to digest. I figured I wanted my kids to have the most pleasant eating experience possible lol. My little one though has proved to be a tough one. She is sensitive to cow's milk so I haven't been able to eat dairy for months otherwise she starts throwing up. Then a few weeks ago I realized (after giving her rice cereal) that she's also sensitive to rice so she throws up when I eat that too. I'm losing my eating options here. But I feel good having given her at least the 6 months of BM and we'll see how much more she gets.

    You should do what gives you and the baby the least stress and what you feel is right for you. Don't worry about what nosy people have to say, you'll have enough other stuff to worry about with a new baby.

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    imageMariM:
    I never had the "urge" to bf. Not before, during or after my pregnancy. I don't care that others do it- but it just isn't for me. I never even tried & when I arrived at the hospital in labor, I asked for bottles before an epidural. From the minute people knew I was pregnant- my breasts became a freaking conversation piece. Why people I don't even know very well, felt like it was ok to discuss my boobs- I don't know. Anyhow, whatever you decide- it's your decision & don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. The important thing is that you feed your baby, whether it's formula or breast.

    This.  I never wanted to BF so i didn't ever attempt it.  Like the others said, do what works for you and your family.  People have opinions on everything, and the BF v FF thing is a majorly touchy subject.  Even now at 2.5, people still ask me about it!! it's incredible.  I can tell you that I can count on one hand the number of times my daughter has had a cold, I do believe that genetics plays a large part in immunity, my niece and nephew who were BF constantly get sick.  i am very very close with my daughter and when I fed her, I was very present with her and we bonded then.  Like the others said - there is information out there on both sides and you can find people who can give you opinions but ultimately you need to do what is right for you. 

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    I breastfed for 6 months then switched to formula. BFing was the best decision for my family. After I got over the initial pain (at 4 days old, my nipples were cracked and bleeding and HURT) and worked very closely with my lactation consultant, bfing became painless and easy, much easier than preparing a bottle in the middle of the night. When I stopped it was after DD and I got very sick. She wasn't nursing as much and I was barely eating. My supply tanked and what was needed to increase the supply was impossible with my work schedule.

    Switching to formula at first was hard for me. But I soon realized that making sure DD was fed and gaining well was most important. And she's a very healthy baby (aside from a condition she was born with).

    As for friends & family, imy baby = my decisions. Period. They can say what they want but no one is going to tell me what to do for her or make me feel bad about my decisions.

    I will add that I think taking some bfing courses and getting in touch with the consultants, La Leche League, and other bfing support networks will help guide you in one direction vs another. Bfing doesn't have to be a terrible experience. But always remember happy mom = happy family :)

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    I formula fed DD1 at first, BF about a week in b/c I felt guilty and thought she "needed" it.  It didn't work, I hated it, she didn't latch, and I was exhausted, so I stuck with FF and never looked back.  I don't care who judges me because it was best for me and my daughter (plus, DH took a lot of the night feedings and fed her, and I got to rest, which was fantastic lol)

    As for the immunities, DD is almost 21 months old and the only time she has gotten sick was when her molars were coming in. 

    We're FF #2 now and I'm happy with our decision.

    Ultimately, it's what YOU are comfortable with.  And you'll know if one or the other is right for you.  Just don't listen to people and let them guilt you into it, either way. 

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    Before I got pregnant with Matthew, I had never seen anyone breastfeed!  I did know that I was going to breastfeed because there is no doubt that the benefits are incredible.  I did a ton of reading and attended the LLL Parenting Conference before the baby was born. 

    Breastfeeding is a lot of work at the beginning.  It's a learning experience for you and your child.  But once you've got it down, it really is simple.  I say that breastfeeding is for the lazy!  I never have to sterilize or wash bottles.  And if I wanted to take a nap while feeding my kid, I could!

    Don't listen to people.  Everyone is an expert, everyone has an opinion.  Do your own research and decide on what is best for your family.  Once you do decide, then you can look for the advice of a real expert if needed, not Tia Conchita. 

    And of the pros of bfing--The money I'm saving from breastfeeding is going towards my implants once my factory is closed!  Wink

     

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    I haven't had my LO yet, but I am going to do everything in my power to BF unless god forbid I can't for medical reasons. I don't judge anyone who does not, but based on personal research and such that is the path I have decided to take. I have family that has comments about it as well, but it's my baby and as long as your DH backs you up who cares what anyone says!!! I hope you make the best decision that suits you & your family. GL
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    imageMariM:
    The important thing is that you feed your baby, whether it's formula or breast.

    this precisely. i chose to BF for 3.5 months (couuld have gone on longer but i went thru surgery). i also bf and had to supplement with formula b/c my dd would not be satisfied...and honestly it was exhausting to have her on my boob all day. to each their own. gl making your decision.

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    Here is the bottom line. It does not matter. Not really.

    Let me address the sick and cold scenario.

    If your child is in daycare, whether they are BF or FF - they are going to get sick. BM will not stop this. Formula will not prevent it either. Its a fact. If you are a SAHM your child is going to get sick less because your child is not around as many children and their "germs". I read nothing in the responses above to discount this.

    Now, on to my personal experience. I always wanted to try to BF. I had seen many, many of my friends try and fail for reasons out of their control. Whether this was due to PPD and the meds or their milk just not coming int, etc... I was a "take is as it comes" kinda gal. I was lucky. My milk came in at the hospital and I have to say that BFing my child was one of the most amazing experiences of my life to date. I loved it. Its not for everyone, certainly, but I am glad I tried it and that it worked out for me. I only BF my daughter for the first 4 months of her life. Once I went back to work, I stopped. So...I started weaning her off BM or pumped BM at 3 months and she took to formula like there was no difference.

    Personally, I am not sure the benefits of BM are all that 100%. A lot of it seems like propaganda to me. But I hope they are true. There is no way to know for sure because I was FF and have always been perfectly healthy.

    The bottom line is that whether your FF or BF - your child will be happy and healthy as long as YOU are happy and healthy. If you are unhappy and BF - your child will be unhappy. Do what makes you comfortable. A happy mommy makes for a happy baby.

    GOOD LUCK!

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    My SIL is a SAHM mom and her kids STILL were constantly sick!! I think they are just prone to every little germ that's out there!!!

    But, yes, i totally agree with Mel - that's why I  <3 her :) 

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    Ditto Mel! 
    I understand how you feel.  Along with the, "Is it a boy or a girl?," "How are you feeling?" questions, comes, "Are you going to BF?" It really shouldn't be up for discussion since it's a very personal issue. However, just like with everything else that comes with pregnancy and motherhood comes everyone's unsolicited advice and opinions. 
    It hasn't been such a sore issue for me b/c I generally tell people that I'll try but I'm not opposed to FF if it doesn't work out.  In my case, my mom EFF'd both my brother and I from day 1 so there's no pressure coming from her. I understand why a lot of women feel like failures if it doesn't work out.  We put so much pressure on ourselves to be good moms and there are so many outside influences that affect that perception of ourselves that it can be overwhelming.  Like Mel said, the most important thing is being happy and healthy so you can take care of your baby without feeling anxious or stressed out.  
    However, MIL mentioned that I should BF for at least six months, so DH was putting on the pressure with that for a while. But, we have discussed the topic at length and we have agreed to a plan similar to what Mel mentioned.  I will be more than glad to try BFing while I'm on maternity leave, but when I go back to work it will be hard enough so I just want to focus on work while at work.  I will most likely supplement with FF at that time and I'll try to continue BFing in the evenings.  I know this is a very specific plan, but I'm also okay with it if it doesn't workout and I have to switch to EFFing.  Also, when it comes to BFing, I'm going to keep my experience b/w DH and myself to avoid any of the unsolicited advice and judgmental comments.  If I feel that I need advice or support, I have some family members that I could ask for advice without sharing it with the whole world.  
    GL!  I know it seems overwhelming and I felt the way you are feeling before coming to a decision.  It may help to have a flexible plan or to decide to just go with the flow, whichever works better for you, but hopefully it will reduce your anxiety.  A breastfeeding class may also help you become more aware of your options and reduce your anxiety.  

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    Both of my kids were formula fed from birth.  Personally, I find breast feeding very unappealing. That is my PERSONAL opinion. I always knew deep down inside it was not something I wanted to do.

    I'm not going to lie, in South Florida breast feeding is very popular and you will face a lot of sh*t from people (mostly total strangers!) for not doing it. This is a very sore subject for me because EVERYWHERE I went with my son people wanted to know if he was breastfed and then verbally bashed me when I told them he wasn't.  After awhile I started to get very nasty with people as soon as they asked. It's funny how things vary in different regions because I live in NYC now and no one cares what other people's babies are eating. Only once in a blue moon does someone ask and then spew out a "breast is best" speech.

    I do not regret my decision to formula feed at all. If I thought it was less healthy or nutritious, I would have given it a second thought, but I never felt that way.  My son did not have his first cold until he was almost 18 months old. He is happy, healthy, and thriving.

     

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    Just adding....in response to my comment above, its not that I think formula prevented my son from getting his 1st cold until he was 18 months old, I just don't buy into the theory that breastfed babies have stronger immune systems. I agree with Mel that its a lot of propaganda.

    My son was not in daycare, because I am a SAHM, but we went out every single day that the weather permitted from the time he was 17 days old, so he was exposed to other people and germs constantly. He attended his first kiddie party with 20 other children when he was 4 weeks old and was around other kids on a regular basis all the time after that and still never got sick until he was a year and a half. Immunity is hereditary, not based on what a baby eats.

     

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    I have no personal experience yet, but if you can BF, I would highly recommend it.  There are tons of documented benefits for baby, plus, for you, it's free, convenient (no bottles to prepare), helps you lose the baby weight, etc.  I can't justify spending hundreds of dollars (or more) on formula a year if BFing is free.
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    opinions are like a$$holes- everyone has one.

    Do what you want and what feels right. I did not BF- I tried in the hospital and was not comfortable with it. I agree with Andrea here it is a regional issue.

     

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    imageMellyMelB:

     I have to say that BFing my child was one of the most amazing experiences of my life to date. I loved it. Its not for everyone, certainly, but I am glad I tried it and that it worked out for me.

    The bottom line is that whether your FF or BF - your child will be happy and healthy as long as YOU are happy and healthy. If you are unhappy and BF - your child will be unhappy. Do what makes you comfortable. A happy mommy makes for a happy baby.

    These are my thoughts exactly!

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    Just don't get your baby's formula from China!
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    As you can see from the range of responses to your post, there's no right or wrong answer. It comes down to what you feel is best for you and your child and what will work for you. I believe that breast is best, and I believe that breastfed babies do have a higher advantage, health-wise, than formula fed babies. There's a reason why formula companies all try to outdo themselves to be "the most like breastmilk" or "the closest thing to breastmilk." Now, how much of an advantage, I'm not sure. The research supports this theory, but I do believe, as someone mentioned above, that the benefits of breastfeeding are sometimes exaggerated by pro-breast propaganda. I also think that the benefits that DO exist are more short-term things. I think in the long run, they all end up on the same playing field whether they were breastfed or formula fed. Breastfeeding is something that has gone in and out of style throughout the course of modern society and right now it's very "in," which is why there's so much judgment surrounding it.

    (And just to throw it out there - when people talk about the health benefits of breastfeeding, it's not just whether your kid gets sick often or not or how old they were when they got their first cold. That's what people tend to get hung up on in this debate, but the research shows a lot of more subtle advantages in breastfed babies that you can't see just by looking at the child or asking how often they get the sniffles. Again, that's just the average shown by the research...it's not to say that there aren't exceptions to the rule or that formula fed babies don't make up for it in other ways, etc.)

    I was very much committed to breastfeeding even before I got pregnant. It's something that I believed in strongly and all the benefits appealed to me, both the more important ones (like that it's better for baby health-wise) and the more superficial ones (like losing weight and saving money). I also felt a lot of peer pressure to do it successfully. My family is very pro-breastfeeding and I felt like I would be judged if I didn't do it. I would be lying if I said that the "what will people say/think" factor didn't play a big role in my decision to continue breastfeeding even when it got tough.

    I think that if you really want to breastfeed, you can't be on the fence about it. You have to be really committed to stick it out even if it's hard. It doesn't come easy to many women. I think more often than not, it's tough. You have latch issues, supply issues, etc. And yeah, there are times where you basically have to have the baby at your breast ALL DAY for the baby to stay satisfied. I was at the lactation consultant's office for a private consulation the day after I got discharged from the hospital because I was having latch issues. And for weeks after that, while I was still getting the hang of it, I was constantly doing research online, calling the LC, talking to family members and friends who breastfed, etc. It would have been soooooooooo much easier in those first few weeks to just say "eff it" and give her a bottle of formula. But I became very emotionally attached to the idea of breastfeeding successfully and that only further cemented my committment to it. I am SO glad that I stuck to it. After going through hell the first few weeks, once we got into a rhythm (right after the 6 week growth spurt), it became 2nd nature to me and sooooo easy and so enjoyable. I think it's so much harder than formula feeding the first few weeks, but then so much easier than formula feeding once you get used to it.

    My goal was to exclusively breastfeed for 6 months and continue breastfeeding till she turned a year old. I made it 5.5 months exclusively breastfeeding and she's almost 8 months old now and still nurses in the mornings and at night. After two months of pumping like a crazy person at work so that I could produce enough milk to give her bottled breastmilk during the day, I finally caved and supplemented with formula and it made my life so much easier. I agonized over my decision to give her formula but in hindsight I'm so glad I did it and I feel really comfortable doing it now. I can't believe what a formula phobia I used to have when it's perfectly healthy and so convenient.

    Anyway...good luck with your decision! It's a big one, but the good news is that, like we've all said, there's no right or wrong answer. There are definitely pros and cons on both side and you just have to figure out what works for you.

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    AlbahAlbah member
    imageSouthMiamiWifeJen:

    As you can see from the range of responses to your post, there's no right or wrong answer. It comes down to what you feel is best for you and your child and what will work for you. I believe that breast is best, and I believe that breastfed babies do have a higher advantage, health-wise, than formula fed babies. There's a reason why formula companies all try to outdo themselves to be "the most like breastmilk" or "the closest thing to breastmilk." Now, how much of an advantage, I'm not sure. The research supports this theory, but I do believe, as someone mentioned above, that the benefits of breastfeeding are sometimes exaggerated by pro-breast propaganda. I also think that the benefits that DO exist are more short-term things. I think in the long run, they all end up on the same playing field whether they were breastfed or formula fed. Breastfeeding is something that has gone in and out of style throughout the course of modern society and right now it's very "in," which is why there's so much judgment surrounding it.

    (And just to throw it out there - when people talk about the health benefits of breastfeeding, it's not just whether your kid gets sick often or not or how old they were when they got their first cold. That's what people tend to get hung up on in this debate, but the research shows a lot of more subtle advantages in breastfed babies that you can't see just by looking at the child or asking how often they get the sniffles. Again, that's just the average shown by the research...it's not to say that there aren't exceptions to the rule or that formula fed babies don't make up for it in other ways, etc.)

    I was very much committed to breastfeeding even before I got pregnant. It's something that I believed in strongly and all the benefits appealed to me, both the more important ones (like that it's better for baby health-wise) and the more superficial ones (like losing weight and saving money). I also felt a lot of peer pressure to do it successfully. My family is very pro-breastfeeding and I felt like I would be judged if I didn't do it. I would be lying if I said that the "what will people say/think" factor didn't play a big role in my decision to continue breastfeeding even when it got tough.

    I think that if you really want to breastfeed, you can't be on the fence about it. You have to be really committed to stick it out even if it's hard. It doesn't come easy to many women. I think more often than not, it's tough. You have latch issues, supply issues, etc. And yeah, there are times where you basically have to have the baby at your breast ALL DAY for the baby to stay satisfied. I was at the lactation consultant's office for a private consulation the day after I got discharged from the hospital because I was having latch issues. And for weeks after that, while I was still getting the hang of it, I was constantly doing research online, calling the LC, talking to family members and friends who breastfed, etc. It would have been soooooooooo much easier in those first few weeks to just say "eff it" and give her a bottle of formula. But I became very emotionally attached to the idea of breastfeeding successfully and that only further cemented my committment to it. I am SO glad that I stuck to it. After going through hell the first few weeks, once we got into a rhythm (right after the 6 week growth spurt), it became 2nd nature to me and sooooo easy and so enjoyable. I think it's so much harder than formula feeding the first few weeks, but then so much easier than formula feeding once you get used to it.

    My goal was to exclusively breastfeed for 6 months and continue breastfeeding till she turned a year old. I made it 5.5 months exclusively breastfeeding and she's almost 8 months old now and still nurses in the mornings and at night. After two months of pumping like a crazy person at work so that I could produce enough milk to give her bottled breastmilk during the day, I finally caved and supplemented with formula and it made my life so much easier. I agonized over my decision to give her formula but in hindsight I'm so glad I did it and I feel really comfortable doing it now. I can't believe what a formula phobia I used to have when it's perfectly healthy and so convenient.

    Anyway...good luck with your decision! It's a big one, but the good news is that, like we've all said, there's no right or wrong answer. There are definitely pros and cons on both side and you just have to figure out what works for you.

     

    I couldn't agree with you more!! There is a reason to why you won "best advice giver"! ;)

    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers image
    BFP #3: 01/28/12, EDD: 09/23/12, MMC (BO), D&C 2/16/12 at 6.5 wks
    BFP #4: 05/23/12, EDD: 01/31/12, Early MC at 5 wks

    RPL Workup: + LPD (7DPO Prog = 7.8, Endometrial Bx = out of phase)
    Elevated Alpha 2-glycoprotein IgA and antiphosphatidylserine IgM -->
    Hematologist said not to worry and no need for treatment!

    Dx: LPD
    Cycle #1(08/2012): Clomid 50 mg CD3-7, Ovidrel CD13 + Progesterone = It worked!
    BFP #5 on 09/10/12 (11 DPO). HCG #1 @ 14DPO = 131.6 HCG #2 @ 16DPO = 509
    EDD: 05/23/2013 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

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    Thank you all for all your advice & personal experiences :) I definately have a lot to think about & a short time to do it :)

    thanks again

    Evelyn

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