Jewish Tradition?

Jennlove29

So I just told my family that I'm pregnant and they brought to my attention the Jewish tradition that I'm not supposed to set up the crib until the baby is born. I did a little research and it goes so far to even say not to have a baby shower and not to set up the nursery at all until the baby is born. This kind of puts a damper in my plans to decorate a beautiful nursery before the baby gets here. Does anyone else know why that's a tradition and if you are sticking to it or not? Thanks!

AmyNicole622

Being a reform jew I've heard of the tradition but don't plan on following it. I can see why it's been done for years but the idea of coming home from the hospital and having nothing done sounds horrible. If you and DHdecide to wait maybe have everything bought but not set up... then while you're in the hospital have a relative or close friend throw everything together. Or a pesky MIL that might been too much to handle and would LOVE the project..lol. GL

jfayerman

I'm definitely aware of the tradition, but most of my family and I believe it's horribly impractical.

H&H 9 months to you.

stahlop

It's a superstition.  Not sure of the background.  Something along the lines of not acknowledging the baby until it's born because it can bring bad luck otherwise while pregnant.  I have a friend who did this (not Jewish, but I think it's an Irish or Italian things too) and no one knew she was pregnant until the she had the shower after she had twins!  I don't put any stock into it.  It's superstitious nonsense in my opinion.

buninmyoven22

I have heard that- But I'm also getting told not to say too much before the end of the first trimester b/c it's a kenohora. (and when you have the crib tie something silver underneath it, with candy?!- I don't even want to begin telling you how confusing that is...) And I'm not superstitious and I think what you do should be about what you' and your DH are comfortable with.

 DH and I are on our own path and we're doing what we think is right. If we want to set up the crib, we're going to set up the crib. If we want to wait, we'll wait. At this point I want to not be exhausted all the time so setting up a roll of toilet paper seems advantageous right now.

MrsAJL

I grew up Reform and my DH grew up Conservative.  I had no idea, really, about this superstition until I was pregnant with DS.  My GMIL brought it up and she was adamant that it was bad luck to do any set-up of baby stuff until the baby came.

We pretty much ignored that superstition and definitely with this baby, we're going to be setting up the nursery and getting things ready well before the baby arrives. 

rvandiver0705

I'm conservative and I have never heard of that tradition.  I think that it is more of a luck-type tradition and less of a Jewish law kind of tradition.  From what I could find, it is an Ashkenazi tradition that is practiced in order to keep away evil spirits.

There is no way that I am setting up my nursery in February, Jewish law or no.  I eat shellfish because the only reason not to in Kashruit is for food safety reasons, and those are no longer valid.  I will certainly not put it off in order to hide my LO from evil spirits...I think that is absolutely ridiculous and that sort of thing is not a part of my faith.

Molluskwrangler

I think it's superstition, my Jewish grandmother said that Jews don't name kids after living relatives either b.c it's bad luck.  All cultures have their own superstitions.

Aaron'sWife

Our family is from Lebanese and we have the same tradition. You are not supposed to set up a crib before the baby comes because you are tempting fate and you might not bring home a baby to put in the crib.

My mom is also a strong believer of warding off the Evil Eye. Newborns wear a pin with a small blue eye charm for the first year of life.

Weird, but I'm not one for tempting fate so we abide by it.

grapeape73

It is a superstition.  You also aren't supposed to talk about the baby, or refer to it before hand.  Some people take it very seriously.  I didn't have a shower until after DD1 was born for a variety of reasons, and that was one of them.  We had a bassinet at home when we came home, and then set up everything after.

ademc05

Well, if you want to stick to it, I think you'll survive. For the nursery, you can pretend you just moved to a new place. Also, what if you weren't able to know the gender of your baby until delivery? A baby shower after could also be helpful. At that point, you could have a good idea of the things you'll actually need and use. For the crib, a lot of people have baby in with them for at least a couple months.

ForestStryfe

My mom brought up the same thing as well.  She didn't have a shower, and they didn't bring the crib into the house until right before I came home from the hospital.

I reminded her that it's going to be hard to stop my MIL from throwing a shower (DH's family isn't Jewish).  So my mom's now decided that I need to keep everything in storage, and that she'll be sending my dad to assemble the crib while I'm still in the hospital.

DH thinks we're all insane.  He's probably right. 

monkey_pants

I've definitely heard of this before.  For a friend of mine, I think they registered and didn't open any of the gifts (because let's face it, even if you don't have a shower, people are going to send you gifts).  And then when she went into the hospital, as soon as the baby was born, her family went to her apt and set up everything for her so it was ready when she got home.  I guess it meant giving up a lot of control over having the baby's room set up, but she could always redo it later.  So that's one way you could do it so at least you're not coming home to an empty room and having to put furniture together right after giving birth?