Help..sitter texting while babysitting?

JandBandB

I have two twin, 12 y/o girls watching my 15 m/o and 3 y/o.  It's their first time (they are neighbors that I am using as mothers helpers)

Every time I walk by, one of the girls is texting on her phone. 

THEN...one just came upstairs to get a game with my 3 y/o and she is holding her phone in her hand...like she is waiting for texts back.

How would you handle this?  She Is playing with my son, but her attention is just not 100% there.  This is their FIRST real babysitting job!

Thanks!  i want to be nice and tactful about it!

Kapalua

they're only 12-just counsel them that you'd feel more comfortable if they put their phones away while at your house.  no biggie!

laughteriskey

While I wouldn't use 12 year olds to babysit, she is using them while she is still there.

I think this is a great learning opportunity for them.  Just sit down with them (at the end of their shift today) and let them know that when people hire them to watch their children, they should not be distracted by other things (ie. the phone, texting, etc).  That they will likely not get called back if they are continually distracted by these things and that it's important to do the job they are being paid for.

 

xbrooklyngrl

they are 12, they don't give anything 100%

were they hired just to play with the kids while you are there and getting things done?

EliseB0323

This is a great opportunity for them. Tell them they are doing a good job, but you are concerned that the texting is distracting them from the kids. Explain that when you have a job, you have to act in a professional manner and that includes turning your phone off and leaving it your purse (or a certain place). Let them have a 10-15 minute "break" every few hours where they can check their messages, have a snack, etc.

neesernicole

she's there, they're mother's helpers ... just set your rules.

laughteriskey

I can't believe posters are finding it hard to believe that a 12 year old is too young to be 100% focused.  Really?  You guys are pushovers....seriously.

At 12, I was babysitting.  By 13, I was babysitting without parents there.  And, yes, I could focus 100% on the kids I was watching.

Actually, by 13, I was babysitting three boys...ages 6, 4 and 1.  Often.  For hours at a time.  I wasn't on the phone or anything of the like.  I would watch TV after they went to bed.  And yes, this was the expectation since they were in my care and yes, I was "old" enough to know that if I wanted to make money, I had to do THE WORK!

MotherBucker

I'm with Jodi. I was babysitting at 12-13. And there weren't parents there. They are being mother's helpers, not even full-fledged babysitters.

 

I would just explain to them that while they are watching the kids, their entire focus needs to be on them, not texting. That phones need to be put away while they are watching the children. I would let them know that if you have to remind them again, you won't be using them. At that time they can decide what's important, the job or the phones.

 

AnnapolisLari

By 12, I had a year of babysitting experience already.

You are paying them. You set the rules. Tactfully explain that you are paying them to watch your children, and not text their friends. If they keep doing that, they won't get any more sitting jobs from you or any recommendations to others.

It's a great opportunity for them to learn a little bit about how jobs work, and what will be expected of them in the real world.

Glendi2.0

I've had our neighbor looking after the girls for a couple of years now... she started as a mother's helper at around 11, and she's 13 now and babysits them beautifully. Focused, attentive, and always responsible. But I spent two summers coaching her on what she could/couldn't do, how much supervision the girls need, and exactly what I expect of her. It's certainly an unfair generalization to say that no 12 or 13-year-old is qualified to babysit little kids, but I'm the first to admit that at that age, they do need a bit more guidance than someone older or more experienced. Just set some simple ground rules like no texting... honestly, it probably didn't even occur to them that they shouldn't text, since kids text just about every second of the day (not saying that's okay, but that's a different story!) I wouldn't hang them out to dry for that... BUT- if they keep making choices that call into question their level of responsibility and maturity, then I might cut them loose.

laughteriskey

mbenit4:

laughteriskey:

I can't believe posters are finding it hard to believe that a 12 year old is too young to be 100% focused.  Really?  You guys are pushovers....seriously.

I don't feel 12 year old are to young to be 100% focused but in this situation she is there so I feel like if they are doing this while you are there what would they be doing with no adult there? So like I said I wouldn't use them. This post asked about their lack of 100% attention to her children. So I responded about these 12 year olds, not all 12 year olds of the world.

Well, when you say "And I feel with that age group"....um, yea, that means "all 12 year olds of the world" right?!  not just these specific 12 year olds.

Either way, there were other posters that felt the same (due to their age, they aren't going to have 100% focus) and to that, I say HOGWASH!  They aren't going to have 100% focus IF that isn't expected of them.  

shopgirl_07

I think at the end of their "shift" you can just say something like, "I forgot to mention to you that when you're watching the kids, I'd prefer you not to use your phones at all."

Honestly though, I don't think I'd use them again. When you're around, they should be on the best behavior, I'd be afraid what kind of care my kids would be getting when I wasn't there.

xbrooklyngrl

I'm not getting the pushover comment.

Anyway, yes 12 yo's are distracted. If you are telling me you were always 100% when you watched kids, never made a call, never watched tv, I really find that hard to believe but bravo to you.

I worked at 12 in an insurance office, filling and I was distracted. Hell, I'm 30 and I'm distracted DAILY by this place.

All I meant was you just have to make a mention of it to them. Its not a reason to think they aren't capable, you just have to bring it to their attention.

And yes I am cranky.

laughteriskey

Eh, maybe *I'm* cranky! 

All I'm saying is that 12 year olds ARE capable of 100% focus and should be held to that expecatation.  It should NOT be dismissed with an "Eh, they are 12" schpeel.  And actually, other than making a couple of stupid mistakes, I was pretty spot on when babysitting.  I didn't talk on the phone, watch TV while the kids were awake, etc.  Again, I viewed it as a job and I wanted to get paid....and I knew I had to do the job in order to get paid/hired again.

FWIW, I'm more distracted now than I EVER was at 12.  I had WAY more focus, drive and attention span at 12-25 than I do now. 

xbrooklyngrl

maybe we're both cranky

 

 

MrsStubbs

When I was in 6th grade I would tend two girls from 3-10:30 M-F. I did everyting for them like cooking cleaning.

I would trust my 10yo niece to watch my kids all by herself - no question.

Emjay221

I don't think it's that big of an issue.  You're in the house, and they're just supposed to be helpers.  Not sole caregivers. 

Also, she's obviously taking the toddler upstairs to get a game and not sending him up stairs alone while she texts downstairs, so I think it's not that bad. 

If she were walking and texting while with the kid, yeah... complain.  But they are just kids, and every babysitter you will ever have will text unless she's amish, maybe...

Other than that, have they done anything wrong, or are they doing what you need done?