Second marriages

emmared1986

If someone was previously married and had a big wedding, should they get a big wedding, bridal shower, bachelorette party etc again for the second marriage?

What is the couple already has a home and child together? Should they get a registry?

RNOHIO

I think to each their own.  If I was in that situation then no, I would not have another big wedding and I wouldn't register a second time.  I feel that once is enough and if I were to re-marry then it should be smaller but eh I don't judge those who do the big wedding again.  More free alcohol for me right?

emmared1986

RNOHIO:

More free alcohol for me right?

I guess I think of it like second (or third) baby showers. NMS but if you want to do it than more power to you.

aracely523

In my case, it was my second wedding but my husband's first, so we did a small (about 75 ppl) intimate destination wedding and yes we registered and I had a bridal shower.

BeanieWeanie

Bridal shower - no. Bachelorette party - maybe. Big wedding - yes. If you have a smaller wedding just because you had a big one once before, it's kind of saying the second one isn't as important.

CalinsBride

I think they should do whatever they want. I don't really see a problem with having a big wedding the second time around. They're celebrating their new life together, what happened before shouldn't matter. If they want to register, that's fine, since I'm sure people would still want to give gifts (it is still a wedding, after all). But I wouldn't personally register because I'd rather get cash

fairychick77

I don't see why they can't do it big just because it's their 2nd marriage. And I'm sure they will receive gifts so a registry is fine by me.

monlyn9

So are you sayinig I shouldn't have gotten to register, have a shower and have my big dream wedding because my husband was married before and had a big wedding with the b*tch of an ex-wife that faked a pregnancy to get him to marry her and then packed up that house and left nothing but a note saying she was leaving on the living room floor 5 years later?

emmared1986

monlyn9:

So are you sayinig I shouldn't have gotten to register, have a shower and have my big dream wedding because my husband was married before and had a big wedding with the b*tch of an ex-wife that faked a pregnancy to get him to marry her and then packed up that house and left nothing but a note saying she was leaving on the living room floor 5 years later?

::searches OP for where I said that::

monlyn9

emmared1986:

monlyn9:

So are you sayinig I shouldn't have gotten to register, have a shower and have my big dream wedding because my husband was married before and had a big wedding with the b*tch of an ex-wife that faked a pregnancy to get him to marry her and then packed up that house and left nothing but a note saying she was leaving on the living room floor 5 years later?

::searches OP for where I said that::

If you don't disagree with this, then why did you ask the question. By questioning the practice you are insinuating that you don't think second marriages should get big weddings, registries, showers, etc.

cooperme2871

We're kind of going through that right now. My SIL is getting married for the second time but it's her husbands first marriage. Both of them have houses of their own and are well established. They are having a huge wedding, showers, parties, etc. They went hog wild on their registry and asked for more than $2,000 in pots and pans alone. I just think that's rude and you shouldn't expect expensive gifts for a second marriage when you already had one wedding, own your own homes, etc. What's wrong with the first gift I bought?!?  I also don't like second/third baby showers, but think a "Meet the baby" would be okay. Honestly, I believe in getting married once and do not believe in divorce. That's MY belief. I'm not saying everyone else should feel that way too-just how I was raised and how I feel.

ryry1977

I don't think that it is the same as baby showers.  Say these 2 people have never been married so if they want to go all out...so be it.  I don't see anything wrong with that.  I think it is the norm to just have a smaller wedding for a second marriage.  Also, they probably don't need everything so I personally wouldn't register and have showers.  People already gave them presents.  Of course I would get them a wedding present, but something more of a keepsake than say a kitchen appliance that they registered for.  I don't see anything wrong with having a bachelorette party though...that is just going out and having fun before the wedding!  So I guess I am somewhere inbetween...

mrsbird1129

cooperme2871:

We're kind of going through that right now. My SIL is getting married for the second time but it's her husbands first marriage. Both of them have houses of their own and are well established. They are having a huge wedding, showers, parties, etc. They went hog wild on their registry and asked for more than $2,000 in pots and pans alone. I just think that's rude and you shouldn't expect expensive gifts for a second marriage when you already had one wedding, own your own homes, etc. What's wrong with the first gift I bought?!?  I also don't like second/third baby showers, but think a "Meet the baby" would be okay. Honestly, I believe in getting married once and do not believe in divorce. That's MY belief. I'm not saying everyone else should feel that way too-just how I was raised and how I feel.

It's his first wedding.  So because he has a home already, he doesn't deserve a nice wedding? Basically you don't think people (even if it's thier first) deserve all the bells and whistles if they waited long enough to be established in life?  Interesting.

And you don't believe in divorce?  What if the person was being beat?  What if somone left their @ss?  You don't really have much say in that. 

And what if their spouse died?  There's actually a lot of reasons someone would have a second wedding. 

That's great you don't believe in divorce and only getting married once, but things happen and sometimes things like divorce or death equal it's time to move on in life and get married a second time. 

If my husband died today (And I sincerely hope I, or really any of us, never have to deal with this) I'd hope one day I may find love again.  Who knows.

To the op - I personally would do something small and intimate if it was a second wedding for the both of us.  If it was his first, I'd register and say ok if his family wanted to do a shower. I'd listen to what kind of wedding he really wanted, but would try not to go too big. I would never want my side to do a shower as we've already been there, done that.  I would absolutely do a bachelorette party!!    I mean, it would be me and a handful of my girlfriends going out for drinks.  Why wouldn't I? 

ashandres228

I was married before.  So was my husband.  We are each others second marriage.  We had a small intimate wedding with just our parents and siblings.  We didn't register but some family and friends decided to give us gifts.  I think if its one person 1st marriage then go for it...but if you've both been there done that...then just do it small and let your family and friends decide if they wish to give you anything.

cooperme2871

mrsbird1129:

cooperme2871:

We're kind of going through that right now. My SIL is getting married for the second time but it's her husbands first marriage. Both of them have houses of their own and are well established. They are having a huge wedding, showers, parties, etc. They went hog wild on their registry and asked for more than $2,000 in pots and pans alone. I just think that's rude and you shouldn't expect expensive gifts for a second marriage when you already had one wedding, own your own homes, etc. What's wrong with the first gift I bought?!?  I also don't like second/third baby showers, but think a "Meet the baby" would be okay. Honestly, I believe in getting married once and do not believe in divorce. That's MY belief. I'm not saying everyone else should feel that way too-just how I was raised and how I feel.

It's his first wedding.  So because he has a home already, he doesn't deserve a nice wedding? Basically you don't think people (even if it's thier first) deserve all the bells and whistles if they waited long enough to be established in life?  Interesting.

And you don't believe in divorce?  What if the person was being beat?  What if somone left their @ss?  You don't really have much say in that. 

And what if their spouse died?  There's actually a lot of reasons someone would have a second wedding. 

That's great you don't believe in divorce and only getting married once, but things happen and sometimes things like divorce or death equal it's time to move on in life and get married a second time. 

If my husband died today (And I sincerely hope I, or really any of us, never have to deal with this) I'd hope one day I may find love again.  Who knows.

To the op - I personally would do something small and intimate if it was a second wedding for the both of us.  If it was his first, I'd register and say ok if his family wanted to do a shower. I'd listen to what kind of wedding he really wanted, but would try not to go too big. I would never want my side to do a shower as we've already been there, done that.  I would absolutely do a bachelorette party!!    I mean, it would be me and a handful of my girlfriends going out for drinks.  Why wouldn't I? 

I think you missed the very last part of what I wrote. See BOLD.