How do you ladies do it?

dannafofanna

My fiance' and I are both Navy.  DS is a month old now, but DF is deploying next month.  I feel like there is aboslutely no way I can carry the load by myself while still fullfilling my duties!  We have no family anywhere close and not even very many friends.  (Most of them are deployed.)  Can someone please reassure me that I can do this? 

HappyMommy28

I don't know how you do it with both of you in the service!  But really - stay strong.  Take advantage of the special time you and DS will have together.  Get skype so you guys can chang and DS can see his daddy.  Stay busy, and stay positive.  It's hard - epecially at first.  But it gets easier once you get a routine in.  Good luck and I wish your DH a safe and fast deployment.

dannafofanna

Thank you!  We have skype, we've been through deployments before, we've both been to Iraq.  I guess I'm just not used to being the one left behind, and especially with DS.  This first month has been us figuring out what to do together.  I'm sure it will be okay I've just been worrying a lot lately.

c.behrscout

You'll be ok. Is your unit family friendly? DH has been in Iraq for a year. He came home on r&r for the birth & then left me to fend for myself w/a newborn, no family/friends, recovering from a c-sec & having to go back to work. Luckily my unit is deployed so there is not a whole lot to do. My days are pretty short & if DS gets sick they let me stay home w/him. Training holidays are the best because DS goes to daycare & I finally get some time to myself!

Its been 8 loooooooooooooooong months doing it all by myself, but luckily DH will be home in a few weeks.

If I can do it, you can do it! 

kjs1109

One day, one hour, and one minute at a time.  My hubby's first deployment was right after DS turned 3 months.  I can't imagine how tough it would be to be dual military.  You already live a life that so many people can't imagine being strong enough for.  The kinks of your routine will work themselves out as you find what is best for you and your baby.  Reach out in any way you can and take advantage of every program available.  

Never turning down help is a way to start. It's not always easy to accept but it can bring your stress level way down.  When someone asks how they can help, have answers ready. ie: a meal that can be frozen for a night you're too wiped to cook, coming over to watch the baby for an hour while you're there cleaning, and above all know that if you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of your son and husband.  It helped me to have one adult interaction a day. Whether that's at the grocery store, work, or stopping by a friend's house for coffee.  

You don't have to have a lot of friends, just good ones.  Open up to being friendly with people you might otherwise write off.  Getting involved in more things sounds overwhelming but there's a difference between going to deployed family functions and running them.  That's where I met the woment who got me through it.  You can to!  You can do this! 

mollylila

I second what everyone else has said... not much advice to add since only DH serves in our fam. But just remember, it can AND will be done, you don't really have a choice.. every day, you just wake up and do it. And at the end of every day, you are one day closer to the end! Enjoy the time you do have with your LO, and also the time you have to be your own person (even if it is at work).

 

And what a lucky baby to have TWO awesome parents to look up to!! 

 

 

ARMYmarriedNAVY

YOU CAN DO THIS! Aaaaand we need to G2G so I can give you a pep talk. We are at JEB LC. I have three little squidlettes of my own. I am Army Reserve and he is AD Navy.

Just take it one day at a time. I've been away from family for all three kiddos. You'll get through it and be stronger for it. :-)

dannafofanna

We live close to LC but we're both stationed at the Naval Station. 

Thanks ladies for all the encouragment.  I KNOW I can do it, but sometimes it is good to hear it from people who have done it, ya know?

ARMYmarriedNAVY

Would you like to grab lunch somewhere? Let me know. I can meet up this week or not until Sept. cause I have a mission in SC.

Keep your chin up you'll get through.

dannafofanna

That sounds like fun!