#3

WantAnotherBaby

Is it selfish of me to want a third child?  I'm 34 would be 35+ if I had another.  I have 2 healthy boys and I'm feeling the urge to try for another.  My reasoning to my dh is that it goes by waaaay fast, all of it the baby stage the preschool stage etc and I'd like one more BUT my friend's 3rd child has autism and has changed the whole dynamics of her family. Not that he isn't a blessing, but it's crazy work for her and time away from her other children....I know it's a personal choice and my dh is leaning toward stopping now. 

 just wanted to hear your thoughts...

cupcakeandmoose

You are not alone in your fears.  I am in a similar place.  I have 3 and have been trying for a fourth.  I was way younger when I had them so I wasn't high risk and pregnancy was a breeze.  Now, at 35, I have allot of worry about down syndrome and other birth defects.  Trust me, I worry about all of that but just keep praying that if I do conceive I will be blessed with a healthy baby. 

curlyhairedboys

Hi!

I have 2 boys and am working on #3.  I try and put any fears about autism/birth defects/complications out of my mind.  It's out of your hands.  You will deal with what may come - and it will be okay in the end.  The chance of you having a perfectly healthy and "normal" 3rd child is the same as it was with the other 2.  But I can relate!  It's hard not to worry about "tempting fate." 

Good luck and take care!!

kinsalebride

DH and I just had our second child in May and we know that we are done. We had discussed it years ago that we only wanted 2 and we're sticking to that plan because that's what works for us. It sounds like your DH has some misgivings/concerns about having a 3rd, or am i reading that wrong? if he's reluctant you should definitely have some talks with him and make sure the 2 of you are on the same page. you don't want him having a 3rd just to make you happy and not because he really wants it. I'd also be concerned about how it will potentially change the dynamics of the family and any financial concerns that there would be. I think there's a lot more that goes into having kids than just whether they are healthy.

*littlered*

I would not be so worried about 35.  I had my first at 35 and just had my second at 39.  Both healthy.  35 is just the first year of "advanced maternal age"...  it's young in my book! haha!  I've also have several friends who have had babies in their early 40s via IVF and IUI yet the only person I know who has a special needs child (downs) was 34 when he was born. If you want a 3rd, I'd go for it if your husband agrees.

soon-to-beamrs

I wish I could give you advice but I'm in the same situation.  Rationally I realize how lucky I am and think I should stop (plus my DH wants to stop) but I still feel like I want another.  I think there are many pros and cons to both having a 3rd and not.  I wish I knew what the "right" thing to do was!