I need advice on tantrums

Mrs. Theobald

I am really at a loss this week.  Ava has been throwing the worse temper tantrums.  I really don't know  what to do or where they are coming from.  If you tell her no, for example she said outside and I said no it is raining, she screams, cries, throws herself down, etc for about 15 minutes.  Last night I tried to set her down in between the back arching and trying to escape and told her it wasn't nice and this behavior wasn't acceptable.  Besides that I have no idea what to do.  I was 2 seconds from putting her in her crib but I don't want to use that as punishment especially since she goes to bed really well for us.  When I picked her up from school they told me she climbed up on something and they got her down and she threw a fit.  I am embarrased.  I am sure most people experience this with their children.  At least that is what I keep telling myself.  Any advice on how to correct it or deal with it would be greatly appreciated! 

Kerrin

Put her in a safe place and ignore her, literally walk out of the room.  She's testing you and wants attention.  Whatever you do, don't give in to whatever it is that she wants.  Explain to her very calmly that once she stops crying that you'll be available to her. 

myrall

I agree with what Kerrin said. There's been times where I've literally said to Geneva, "You can go to your room and have that tantrum" and she's done it! LOL.

Ava's just getting her footing in exerting control. It's totally normal behavior and it'll change just like everything else. Geneva used to be very "territorial" (in the words of her daycare teacher) regarding a playhouse in her classroom. If removed from the playhouse, she would raise holy hell and melt down. Her teachers remained consistent in how they dealt with her and just isolated her when she wanted to show out. She eventually got over it.  

mrsd0907

Based on Derek's attitude already and his hitting, I'm terrified of this in my future. I'm bookmarking this post!

slwprincess

I want to 100% ditto Kerrin and Myrall.  Put her somewhere safe and IGNORE.  We treat temper tantrums just like a self inflicted time out.  Whenever he starts up, we move him to his time out zone and go ahead and start the 2 minute timer.  If he is still throwing the fit after 2 minutes, we continue to ignore him.  If you are in public, take her outside or to the car or wherever but treat it exactly the same.  If you entertain it at all in public, she will just learn that it's not ok at home but it's fine anywhere else.  Talk to daycare about it too and ask them what they are doing and try to reinforce their techniques at home.  Don't be embarassed, this is normal toddler behavior.  We go through this phase every few months it seems.  Going through it again right now I think b/c I was gone last week and he is testing to make sure the ground rules haven't changed.  It is all for attention and the less you give, the quicker they move on. 

ebales

I agree with Kerrin. We're just going through this now with Katie hitting 8 months and we just have to ignore it.  Good luck...no question it's no fun.

savannah_bride

We use the toddler-ese described in Happiest Toddler on the Block and it really works great, for us anyway. DD hasn't been TOO tantrum prone, but when she does start to have a mini-fit, I just use the toddler-ese method of talking to her and she usually stops immediately.

leslienpete

DD just started with some major tantrums this week. I'm talking going onto her hands and knees and when I walked out of the room she followed me and went to her hands and knees again in front of me. I am just going to ignore them.