A question for you ladies....

labbie1821

How did you arrive at the decision to stay home? Do you ever think you should have stayed in the work force to save for retirement, etc? 

I am a special education teacher and my DH would love for me to stay home but that would mean he would NEVER be home. As much as I'd love to stay home I don't want him to miss out on our LO's childhood the way his dad did because his dad worked 2 jobs. Plus I worry about retirement!

How do you do it all/make it work??? 

yellowsnow

I was sorta forced to stay home and now I'm going back to work.  I was laid off early in my pregnancy so we decided I would stay home.  Then, just in the past few weeks we've had to evict our second tenant and can't make ends meet unless I go back to work.  DH wanted to work an extra job so that I could continue to stay home but he'd never be home and he would not make anything close to what I'll bring home with a full-time position.  If he or I could find something part-time that paid well, we'd be set, it just doesn't really exist.  That being said, this is my last week on this board as I start my new job on Monday.    Good luck to you!!  Hope you can find a good balance for your family!

Anonymi

We did the research and crunched the numbers and with the kinds of jobs I'm qualified for right now, any money I make at this point would be sucked into child care. It might even cost more than I make in a week. So we are just tightening our budget a little (having only one car for the two of us but being in a location where I can walk a lot of places I need to including the grocery store and the pediatrician, down grading my phone to a normal cell phone instead of a smartphone). But I am also hoping to go to school during this time and finish my bachelor's but we'll see if that makes it into the budget (and the degree is entirely online so it is just a matter of working out when to study which could be interestingly comprised of nap times and reading my course text while breast feeding) But since I got laid off when I couldn't perform the weight bearing requirement for my job (and everything was done all nice and legally so not much I can do) I just haven't really found a new job.

als33

i came to the decision bc it's what i wanted to do in my heart.  we had to make very drastic changes in order for me to do so, but it's been 100% worth it so far.  but it's also not a permanent thing.  i will eventually go back to work and pick up where i left off with retirement,etc.  and it's not like i'm losing any more money than i already have from the stock market! 

 i think that if you feel you will worry too much about saving for retirement and so forth, then you shouldn't sah.  it will eat you alive if you are not in it to win it.  your head and your heart both need to be there in this type of a situation.  if you are willing to deal with the sacrifices it takes, then go for it.  and it's not like you can only contribute to a retirement fund if you are working.  you may not have an employer match, but you can still contribute and save as much as you want. 

cp760

It was a hard decision...I LOVED my job. What I did was I had a discussion with the company I worked for and negotiated dropping to part time. It saved the company from having to pay insurance (I was on dh's anyway) as well as save them some $ on my salary (it's always good to point out the benefits the company will get from your proposal) and gave me the freedom to be home more while still keeping my job. This worked out perfect. At first I just worked half days 4 days a week... eventually I changed it to all day 3 days a week (both were nice options). Personally, I would have been a little bored being home 24/7 with a baby (but that's just me). I continued to work PT until my second son was a year old. At that point my life was busier than ever (I had a 1 yr old and 3 1/2 year old). That was the point when we decided it was best for me to stay home full time. We wanted a 3rd child and figured that it would be difficult to juggle 3 kids and work. So for me I took baby-steps into becoming a full time sahm. I continued to work part time until I felt it was the right time to commit to leaving fully. I'm very happy with the way things worked out.

Good luck!!

Kitten80

We both always wanted a SAHP with our child(ren) because we both came from SAHM families.  That said, after going on maternity leave I decided at the least I was going to try to work out going back part time because I loved the families I worked with  - it didn't work though - my employer had been literally trying to force all the higher paid experienced people out for over a year (real pieces of work, man do I have stories!) and once DS was born I could no longer justify putting up with the crap for the good of my clients - the good of my kid had to come first.  I originally was going to see people on the side, but I have no idea when I thought that would happen   I do hope to do something very part time in the next year or so (even if it was pet sitting or a couple hours of tutoring) but figure that once my kid(s) hit school age I can re-visit the working thing.  For me, I know when I look back I will not wish I had spent more time working and doubt I will regret the sacrifices, but I will wish I had spent more summers at the pool with my kids, been there when they did the Halloween party, etc.  My mom died this last year and I am so thankful for my wonderful childhood memories.

I think it is something each person & family has to decide based upon personality, comfort levels, needs, and experience.  If you want to SAH, maybe you could use your experience to babysit a special education child or tutor or find a part time position in the district - it may not be the retirement you are looking for, but you could put that money in savings.  Just some ideas.  GL!

Kitten80

Hey, I just saw where you are located - which burb?  If you don't want to post it here, feel free to PM me.  I live in the Chicago area too. 

Dr.Loretta

One "advantage" we had was that we were in our mid30s when we got married, so we had a good amount of job and financial stability, including retirement contributions.

For me, the decision revolved around other issues. I got rid of a 2+ hour round-trip commute, meaning I would spend a whopping 90 minutes a day with DD. I was not career driven, even though I really liked my job. We adopted DD after we'd been married over 4 years, so we had that time to figure out if and how we could swing me being a SAHM. And I had DH's full support.

It takes sacrifices. Our income has been cut in half. I'm working with my company to do PT/freelance work, but that $ is not guaranteed, and it's considered bonus $ to use for trips to see family, etc. I will have to just work with our financial advisor to make the retirement account i have work the best for me, plus DH has his and we have a joint one. We're not going on any big trips anytime soon, we're not eating out, and we have to watch our budget more carefully than we did before.