What Am I Doing Wrong?

Princess_Lily

New SAHM here (2 weeks in)

Some days (like today) is smooth sailing...I play with DS, have a clean house, get all my laundry done, shower - makeup - blow dry, everything.  And other days I can't seem to get on line with everything I need to do with my SAHM life, and by the end of those days I feel overwhelmed, disappointed and depleated - this is usually during the weekends that this occurs. What is going on with that?  Or is it a mutual feeling among SAHMs?

 

Oh!  Also, how does everyone cope with Dr. appointments for yourself when  your DH works 12-14 hour weekday hours?  DH is my only babysitter...so WDYD?  Find a dentist/doctor who works weekends & late?  Is there such a thing?

Dr.Loretta

I have good days and bad days. The other day I handed DD to DH as soon as he walked in the door and said, "I've had it."

I would ask if you can bring your LO to your dr appts.

axr8111

Your feeling are very normal especially in the first few months. Actually I still feel this way sometimes. Don't beat yourself up about it. I mean look back to your working life. Weren't there some days you were very productive and others where you were not so much? It's normal and the best thing that helps me are weekly/ daily goals. Write them down and check them off as you complete them. Add in even good stuff like going to the park or zoo too. Good luck. 

As for doctor's appt. You really should try very hard to look for a babysitter you can trust. Even if it's just a mom that you know that you know, you will find you can help each other out. I am grateful to have finally found a sitter I love and trust but I also do swap with other mom's for this sort of thing. It works out great because DS gets a playdate while I go to the doctor. I have however taken him to some appts and just went prepared with lots of toys and treats.  

Stacyc625

best way to 'combat' those feelings is don't look at it on a daily basis. Have a 'weekly' to do list and AVERAGE it out. Some days are obviously going to be busier than others, and some days are going to be more 'successful' than others.

As far as Dr apts. I am in the same boat. DH works a lot and i don't have childcare- so DD just comes with me. It isn't bad at all. But a lot of that has to do with the personality of the child and being VERY prepared for situations when we are out and about.

Princess_Lily

Stacyc625:

best way to 'combat' those feelings is don't look at it on a daily basis. Have a 'weekly' to do list and AVERAGE it out. Some days are obviously going to be busier than others, and some days are going to be more 'successful' than others.

As far as Dr apts. I am in the same boat. DH works a lot and i don't have childcare- so DD just comes with me. It isn't bad at all. But a lot of that has to do with the personality of the child and being VERY prepared for situations when we are out and about.

 

See, DD is perfectly fine going to a place where we walk around.  But, to sit for a long period of time - a dentist appointment or my OB - it seems to near impossible, he doesn't like to sit still and will cry if we don't keep moving.  Is this due to the age? Any pointers to combat this issue?

DavidsDiva78

I really like everyones advice to you. I agree, just write things down and mark them off and don't feel bad if you have a day where you are slower than others. I am the same way. I've had to take all my children with me to doctors appointments before, not easy but, just pace yourself and you will manage. (BTW I have 4 kids and about to have number 5).

mandymack

Hi there!

First of all, you are not doing anything wrong!!!  Everyone, whether at home or employeed, has good and bad days, productive days, days where you feel you are running on fumes and barely able to keep the two of you alive, days where you feel ontop of the world and days when you want to run away from home!    I've been at home over 4 years now and still have a mixed bag of days on a weekly basis.

I noticed your ticker and I have to tell you that for me, 14-18months was the hardest age by far for me with Emily.  She was very "busy", always on-the-go, never satisfied with anything for long, really testing her boundaries and my patience, and the days seemed to drag on because, even with all my good intentions to get things accomplished, I still ended up with a day of unfinished projects as I never had the time to get any one thing completed.  It was incredibly frustrating for me!  I have no advice other than to just say that it does get better as they get older and can be occupied for longer periods of time and to really take advantage of nap time and the time after they are in bed.  

As far as Dr. appointments go: I always scheduled them back to back when my mom was visiting or would ask DH to take one day off and do them all in one day.  I never took Emily with me, it would've been a total disaster for us both but not all kids are like mine! 

Best of luck!!!

Stacyc625

Princess_Lily:

Stacyc625:

best way to 'combat' those feelings is don't look at it on a daily basis. Have a 'weekly' to do list and AVERAGE it out. Some days are obviously going to be busier than others, and some days are going to be more 'successful' than others.

As far as Dr apts. I am in the same boat. DH works a lot and i don't have childcare- so DD just comes with me. It isn't bad at all. But a lot of that has to do with the personality of the child and being VERY prepared for situations when we are out and about.

 

See, DD is perfectly fine going to a place where we walk around.  But, to sit for a long period of time - a dentist appointment or my OB - it seems to near impossible, he doesn't like to sit still and will cry if we don't keep moving.  Is this due to the age? Any pointers to combat this issue?

sounds totally normal to me- I am trying to think what i did a year ago. Their little personalities change so much month to month. The best thing I can suggest is finding creative (and safe) play things to break out during the bulk of the apt where you can't offer direct stimulation to your child (i.e when you are being examined yourself- talking to the doc) and let your child actively explore this new and exciting 'treat' -- I knew at 1 I could give my DD a paper towel roll and she would play with it for HOURS-- or filling an empty coffee can with dried beans and tape the lid shut.... things like that- and you have a few of these 'special' toys on reserve for things like this (doc apts etc) also special treats during the apt. ~ Gisele goes to all of my OB apts- and the only time she gets her special snack of freeze dried yogurt and fruit. 1. its easy, 2. its mess free, 3. its healthy, 4. its on the go. All major pluses. You don't want to have to worry about cleaning up a small bowl of cheerios on the doctor's floor while you are sitting in stirrups.

ashleywebber

I know exactly what you mean.  I have days where I get everything on my To-Do List done, cook all the meals, get all my cleaning done (and even do extra), get all my laundry done, find time to do my projects, play with DS, homeschool, do arts and crafts, play with Playdoh, and DS and I get along great.  DH gets home to a yummy dinner, everyone is happy, and we have a great night.  Then there are days where I don't seem to get anything done, we have quick stuff for breakfast and lunch, DS drives me nuts, and when DH gets home I am ready to crash (not to mention it's whatever we can come up with for dinner).  It's not about perfection everyday as we do this every single day (even on weekends).  Just ask your DH to understand and bring home dinner and take the kids off your hands while you relax or catch up.