I smell a dirty deleter.

AnnapolisLari

Don't like the answers you got, huh?

goodheartedmommy

Ha! I had it still open because I walked away. I was able to hit back and get it. It's really not worth of saving, but here it is anyway

 

07-18-2010 at 10:25 AM

B&C03 Joined on 06-01-2010 43 Posts 1,125 Points --> Bossy Mother WWYD? --> My mother / father have been nice enough to watch our 8 month old DS and beagle for a few days we go to Rhode Island. Now my mother has always know (since I started shopping for the nursery) that I do not want blankets in the crib until the baby is a year old. She was watching DS for a few hours last week and when I came home she told me she put  a blanket on him while he was napping in the crib. I calmly told her how I felt and she said "Oh Chris, what are you going to do when you go away for a few days, spend the whole time worrying? " She also took the strap they put on the changing table pad off. (She has a crib and changing table in my old bedroom). I always use the strap as an extra measure when changing DS in my house- I never leave him unattended. I asked her why she took hers off. Her reply: "Oh I never walk away from the baby, besides I am a mother and took care of you and your sisters without a problem.  What annoys me is that I tell her how I want him taken care of but instead she does what she wants and makes me out to be giant worry wart. Another time I gave her directions for his feed (lunch - yogurt and bottle). Later she told me she felt he did not need it. I asked if her rejected both and she said she felt he did not need it.   How do I handle her?

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07-18-2010 at 10:41 AM

mbenit4 Joined on 05-14-2010 Louisiana 764 Posts 13,037 Points --> --> In my honest opinion, maybe you are excessively worrying a bit.  I can see the blanket thing but honestly I never used the strap on the changing table. I never had to since I never left Mia. My BFF was very demanding and controlling and gave so many instructions when someone would watch her first child. I used to tell her if you are that worried about it and you feel like no one can do anything right if it isn't your way then don't leave your baby with them. By her 2nd child she was less controlling. I think you have to pick your battles. Not everything has to be an arguement. If your child was fine with how she did lunch who cares. I would have been pissed about the blanket but not the other things. Sounds to me like you are being very bossy here and that is fine because it is your child. If you aren't happy with how your mom does things then don't leave your baby with her.

Michele

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07-18-2010 at 11:13 AM

B&C03 Joined on 06-01-2010 43 Posts 1,125 Points --> --> mbenit4: In my honest opinion, maybe you are excessively worrying a bit.  I can see the blanket thing but honestly I never used the strap on the changing table. I never had to since I never left Mia. My BFF was very demanding and controlling and gave so many instructions when someone would watch her first child. I used to tell her if you are that worried about it and you feel like no one can do anything right if it isn't your way then don't leave your baby with them. By her 2nd child she was less controlling. I think you have to pick your battles. Not everything has to be an arguement. If your child was fine with how she did lunch who cares. I would have been pissed about the blanket but not the other things. Sounds to me like you are being very bossy here and that is fine because it is your child. If you aren't happy with how your mom does things then don't leave your baby with her. OK, you said you would be annoyed about the blanked. I never commented to her about his lunch feeding. She told me what she did and I said nothing - I guess that is controlling. When she tell me this stuff, I listen, think about it and think that if it warrants me to say something I say something. I only brought up the blanket situation to her. Worry? The first time I was away from my son was for a whole afternoon and my husband watched him - I never called him. So far my son is healthy, solid and meeting his milestones and I am happy with that.

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07-18-2010 at 11:52 AM

gibs Joined on 10-11-2004 CA 1,929 Posts 39,944 Points --> --> Hire a paid babysitter that you can boss around.   This is your mother.  Did she kill you during your childhood, or stunt your growth?  Do you think she's going to let anything happen to her own grandchild? Take a valium.  You're a nut.

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07-18-2010 at 12:16 PM

B&C03 Joined on 06-01-2010 43 Posts 1,125 Points --> --> My gosh ... you ladies on here are bunch of nasty b*tches. The other post agreed that she would be pissed about the blanket situation. If you are going to be rude don't bother posting a reply.

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07-18-2010 at 1:04 PM

BubblyToes Joined on 09-23-2005 State of Confusion 10,034 Posts 225,016 Points --> --> gibs:  This is your mother.  Did she kill you during your childhood, or stunt your growth?  Do you think she's going to let anything happen to her own grandchild? This part of the response is exactly what I was thinking.

Kill all my demons and my angels might die too. -Tennessee Williams If we weren't all crazy, we would go insane.

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07-18-2010 at 1:18 PM

littlemerm... Joined on 12-28-2006 3,038 Posts 54,051 Points --> --> You really need to relax.  She's your mother, she is not going to do anything to hurt your child, her precious grandchild.  Everyone does things a little differently, I'm sure even your husband doesn't do everything exactly the same way as you.  For the few hours or days(if you go on vacation) your child will be just fine.  Plus having a child experience different things, changing the routine up just a little bit is very healthy for a child as it is growing and developing.

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07-18-2010 at 1:27 PM

kada626 Joined on 10-17-2008 MI 3,976 Posts 73,789 Points --> --> Honestly, I wouldn't be annoyed about any of these things so I really see your mom's point. I guess every parent is different. If it gets you upset then I wouldn't use her as a sitter. She is not doing anything that is uncommon though.

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07-18-2010 at 1:29 PM

Littlejen2... Joined on 08-31-2002 5,798 Posts 121,730 Points --> --> Gibs is an ass but that is nothing new.  You either have a choice to let her do things your way or to not leave your child with her.  She has already told you that she will do things as she sees fit, you either trust her or you do not.  Personally I would have an issue with those things, well not the strap b/c I do not think they do anything to keep the child safe but if my child was on a feeding schedule and someone refuseqd to feed them after being asked to I would have an issue with it but would probably overlook it as long as the child was not hungry when I got back.  But the blanket is a no-go for me, they say it increases SIDS and I never used one and if someone that watched my child refused to follow my request then they would not watch my child.  Yeah everyone can argue that we all survived childhood but that does not mean that I would allow my newborn to be driven in a car being held in the front seat like I was as a baby.  The reason that there are new safety equipment and guidlines is b/c not all children do make it and you are making the judgment as the parent which risks are ok.

Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08 Hindsight-"Therapy doesn't cure stupid." BreezeeBean's Grandfather, "Don't argue with crazy or an innocent bystander will not know who is who." RobynK - "I don't understand why people think a nice camera means you know what you are doing. Give me a scalpel, it doesn't make me a doctor."

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07-18-2010 at 1:34 PM

Jinsy80 Joined on 08-17-2008 New York 292 Posts 5,106 Points --> --> The blanket would bother me a bit...but how heavy can it be anyway? It's summertime. I used receiving blankets on DD at that age. As long as your mom isn't putting a heavy quilt on your baby, I think it'll be okay. We really didn't use the straps...maybe during the first couple of weeks. They're a pain, so I don't blame your mom. All she needs to do is be right by the baby. I would hope she wouldn't leave your baby unattended! Are you going to be able to enjoy your vacation at all? Seems like you'll be worrying all the time. I wouldn't be able to leave my 8 month old (hell I haven't left my 3 year old yet...we really don't have anyone to watch her), it's just my personality. Either trust your mom or take the baby with you.

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07-18-2010 at 1:40 PM

bubu Joined on 02-09-2005 Parts Unknown 562 Posts 10,169 Points --> --> I would tell my mom what the do's and don'ts were and she wouldn't always listen.  One day she went completely over the line and I lost my sh!t and I told her that she raised her children the way she wanted and now I'm raising my children the way I wanted and she needed to respect my decisions regardless of how she felt about them.  We haven't had a problem since.

Jason 11-12-09 Isabella 4-27-06

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07-18-2010 at 2:18 PM

JenniC1135 Joined on 04-24-2002 Mt. Airy, Maryland 1,019 Posts 19,467 Points --> --> gibs: Hire a paid babysitter that you can boss around.     Sweet jeebus, I agree with gibs.     If you want someone who'll do exactly as you say, pay up and hire someone.  If you want free babysitting, relax and let your mom do what she wants.  Nothing you mentioned sounds obscenely dangerous to me.

Jenni ~~Alex & Avery ~~ 6/13/06~~Adam ~~3/26/08

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07-18-2010 at 2:29 PM

AnnapolisL... Joined on 03-05-2004 Not actually in Annapolis any longer. 9,168 Posts 181,627 Points --> --> B&C03: My gosh ... you ladies on here are bunch of nasty b*tches. The other post agreed that she would be pissed about the blanket situation. If you are going to be rude don't bother posting a reply. If you post on a public board, you need to be prepared for the fact that some people are going to disagree with you, and some of them won't be nice about it. And while gibs can be a complete tool a lot of the time, she's right. If you want to be the bossy one, then pay for a sitter that you can tell what to do.I never used the strap on my changing pad, and the kids never fell off. And honestly, how heavy a blanket could it be in the middle of summer? Chill out. An 8 month old is plenty old enough to bat away a blanket if it's in their face.

DS - December 2006 DD - December 2008 The Dread Pirate Matthew Mama and her Mini Me

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shopgirl78

What do think she wanted to hear? I thought the advise was sound. 

B&C03- maybe try posting on 6-9 months.  We may all be deluded, most of us have one than one kid & have more than 8 months of parenting...hmpf. 

lsufan

LOL at "No more responses"!

Yodajo

lsufan:

LOL at "No more responses"!

No kidding. 

Definitely shows no control issues there!!

belle204

Omg. Thanks for the laugh, Lari. Looks like someone isn't up on the rules of posting on a *public* message board.

Temp108743750006959

Belle! she said NO MORE RESPONSES. obey.

AnnapolisLari

And now she one-starred me. The agony.

belle204

Oopsies. I don't take orders well. What's she going to do, beat me with a spatula?

Emjay221

I'm sorry I missed all of this. 

Also... "Point is she wants to do almost everything that was acceptable back in 1970."

So??

Kids were happier and healthier back then when they weren't all sheltered and hidden in plastic bubbles.  We rode in the front seat of the family station wagon across the country, or hung out in the cargo section waving at the cars behind us... we didn't worry about things like time out and when a kid misbehaved they got a spanking.  We didn't have humidifiers, or bed positioners.  No one had a baby monitor, and we all had blankets and bumpers in our cribs.

And for the record, the Weeble Wobbles were better back then and so were the Fisher-Price little people.  They suck now.  

I wish like hell I could go back and raise my kids in the 70's or 80's.  

 

Sunflower777

Emjay221:

We rode in the front seat of the family station wagon across the country, or hung out in the cargo section waving at the cars behind us... 

I agree with the sentiment of this post, but I sure as hell wouldn't do this today. Too many cars and too many distracted drivers on this one.

The rest of it, yes, I see your point.  

BubblyToes

belle204:

Oopsies. I don't take orders well. What's she going to do, beat me with a spatula?

That was awesome.

And really, come on guys.  She said NO more responses.  

 

st.lucia bride

Emjay221:

 and so were the Fisher-Price little people.  They suck now.  

This times a million! Why are they so ugly now?  I guess the old ones were choking hazards .