trying to keep my mouth shut....

Leigh71

A sister in-law /SIL of mine....had twins at 38.5 weeks.  she rarely talks to me...and asked how I was doing.  I am on bedrest again...and have been on since 30 weeks.  Told her my goal was to make it to 36.  (My FFN was +) and was in hospital for PTL. 

She just typed me a long note, about how 36 weeks is a "myth" for full term for twins, and bragging how her girls were "healthy as horses" and needed no Nicu time. I am happy for her...but just days ago....I had a doc in L&D ask me to sign the consent for an emergency c-section.  So, being home with the babies on the inside, is a blessing to me.  I'm thankful for the mag that worked. 

She never needed bedrest, had no complications (I have had some-SCH, GD) and her letter just shot down my goal (to reach 36).  I just needed to vent.

themathgirl

36 weeks is a great goal! Be thankful for every day that you cook them longer. Bedrest sucks but if it helps keep them in then it's SO worth it! Don't let her get you down. Mine were born at 36 weeks 4 days and needed no NICU time. I'm not sure what she meant by a 'myth'... Just wanted to send some encouragement your way!

Leigh71

Thank you. 

And I find it interesting she has completely had a brain fart that i worked 10 yrs. in the Nicu.  I'm no expert on twins....but I have taken care of a lot of healthy babies of all gestational ages. 

I have 5 goals total.  36 was my big one. 

hopeful34

Feck her...don't you worry about her.Everyone has a different experience and of course some people think they are now experts. 36wks is great for twins. Like pp said it's a blessing to have them in there for as many more days as you can based on what you've been through. Just ignore her and don't let it upset you. Stress is not good for those babies or for you. (((hugs)))

FemmeNat01

36 weeks is an amazing goal! I really hope with all my heart that you make it. Wouldn't we all LOVE for our twins to make it to 38.5 weeks? Unfortunately, we all don't have that luxury and things happen. She sounds very insensitive. If she knows what is going on with you, she should be more cautious and aware of what she says to you! I wish you tons of luck on making it to 36 weeks because it is a really awesome goal!

EstellabelleRx

I think once you've been in L&D signing c-section consents 10 or 12 weeks before your due date (I was doing this at 28 weeks), it changes your and your doctor's thought process.  In the hospital, my OB said she would be happy to keep the babies in another month.  Now that I've reached that goal, she said, she would be happy with 34 weeks and anything after that is bonus.  The way I see it, any further along I can get is better than having them at 28 weeks!

Don't let her get you down, you're doing a great job!  I think 36 weeks is a great goal.  My big goal (according to my doctors) is 34 weeks.  Your SIL would really have a lot to say about that!  Of course, I would ideally like to get to 35 or 36 weeks...but, at this point, I'm proud of myself for getting as far as I have!  You should feel the same too

Leigh71

So true!.... gosh once they started blasting me with consent after consent form, I was praying and hoping the mag. would take over. 

I was starting to be at peace with having babies so early as I lay on the delivery table.   I was stressed and worried and sad, but, it is not always in my hands.  I quickly realized how each day with them growing on the inside is something I should be thankful for. 

Thank you for sharing your stories.  It really helps me to know I'm not alone.  And good for you making it to your goal!  I'd love to make it to 34. 

E&RMommy

Tell her to butt out!  Sheeesh. 

gumiberg

my twins were born at 35 weeks and were also "healthy as a horse" and needed no nicu time.   i think 34-36 weeks is a wonderful goal.  but no matter what happens, its not fault of your own.  the fact she had such an uneventful pregnancy is luck. 

Carmela752

My OB was jumping for joy once I hit 34 weeks.

Tell your SIL to suk it. ;p

sillie1020

I agree with PP.  Everyone is different.  Tell her if she doesn't have something nice to say don't say it at all.

Leigh71

Carmela752:

My OB was jumping for joy once I hit 34 weeks.

Tell your SIL to suk it. ;p

Lmao. 

janjag

MrsLee04:

I would send her a note back....reminding her that every pg is different and while she was extremely lucky to seem to have a complication-free pg, you haven't been so lucky, and that due to complications you have to set different goals.

well said.

my doc's goal was 32wks, and then 34.  he was really surprised i made it past 32.  i was so determined to make it to 36.  in my mind 36wks meant "take-home babies".  maybe a little silly, but i was willing myself to 36wks. 

just know, when they do come.. you did all you could!   

ougrad1

Leigh...keep your head up hon.  She should have never done that.  I haven't gone through half the crap you have but, it sounds like we both have the same mindset at the moment.  You're doing great.  Just keep doing what you're doing.  We don't have long to go now.

 

BelleBaby

Does she want a freaking gold star or something?  Geesh. 

You're doing great and 36 weeks would be awesome.  Just concentrate on you and those babies and tell her to buzz off.  You don't need that kind of negativity around you.

macchiatto

How insensitive. Sorry.
I've heard people say 36w is "full-term for twins" and THAT is a myth--37w is full-term for anybody--so maybe that's what she was thinking of. But 36w is a great goal for twins and especially since you've been having complications. Sorry she shot you down like that.

shipoopiisforme

your sil sounds like an asshat. i was on bedrest from 16 weeks on including 4 weeks of hospital bedrest at 29 weeks. i had my twins at 36w2d and they were perfect and needed no nicu time, no one could believe i made it that far and the day i took them home from the hospital i cried tears of joy most of the ride home.

36 weeks was a huge goal for me so i completely understand and really hope you make it that far! that being said 32 weeks is a big deal, as is 34. i will be pulling for you! 

Leigh71

MrsLee04:

I would send her a note back....reminding her that every pg is different and while she was extremely lucky to seem to have a complication-free pg, you haven't been so lucky, and that due to complications you have to set different goals.

I wish I would have thought of this. It is said perfectly. She got me so bummed I just felt like I had been pushed back down.

Thank you ALL for your kind words.   The support from this board has helped me each and every day of my twin pregnancy.  Thank you ladies.