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Two Under 2
Same gender being closer...
I noticed people constantly writing that same gender close to age will probally be closer than opposites. I want to disagree that it is hardly always the case. I have a twin brother and we were always best of friends. My friend had a sister and always hated her. Even my dad was much closer to his sisters and always rivaled with his brother. They don't even talk now. I actually have noticed there to be more sibling rivalry with same genders.
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Re: Same gender being closer...
I couldn't agree more with you.
Hi! I haven't posted before but have lurked a loooong time. My kids will probably be just barely over two years apart, assuming the second one comes when we expect him.
The gender disappointment thread below hits home to me because I too felt a twinge of sadness that I very well may never get to mother a little girl. While I do think many, many same gender siblings are very close, I also think that the notion of the bond between boys or girls helps those of us who are having same gender kids. Everyone and their dog seems to think a boy and a girl is the "ideal" or "perfect" family. Those of us for whom that isn't reality have to adjust to the idea our own ideal family. For me, that's two boys. The thought that they will be best friends really does make me smile. The reality of it will not become clear for many years.
I would say that most of my friends who only have one sibling that is of the same gender are very close to that sibling. Who knows if that would be the case with a different gender, but it's comforting to me nonetheless.
I think you're right. This has NOTHING to do with age difference. It has to do with children's personalities and the way you parent.
My sis and I are 20 months apart. We're not close AT ALL!
Well Texas, just like you get tired of hearing that one of each is "the perfect family" I am also getting tired of hearing that same gender siblings are closer. I disagree with both statements and think people are pretty ignorant who say these things. I think when siblings are close in age in general, that they will have more in common and be closer because they can relate to things such as current music, shows, clothes, fads etc. My brother and I also had the same circle of friends.
Everyone is just going to justify their family. I don't see the need to take offense at it. You have different gendered kids, so obviously you're going to find the reasons that they will be close. Others have same gendered kids, so they will find the reasons they will be close.
Of course, non of us know if our kids will even like each other in 10 years, regardless of gender.
FWIW, I am closer with my same gender siblings (2 sisters, 2 brothers). But, I'm also close with my brothers. My parents just did a really good job and, luckily, none of us are looneys.
Thank you. I agree completely. OP: It seems as though you are taking offense to the things people were writing in that thread. Don't take it so personally. You think your boy and girl will be best friends? Great! That doesn't mean our two boys can't be best friends either. And honestly, as pp mentioned, none of us know how their relationship will turn out 10-15 years from now.
I firmly believe that my two boys will be closer than if I had a boy and a girl. This is from my personal experience. I had two brothers and a sister, and my sister and I were so close. My brothers and I got along fine, but we didn't talk about boys, go shopping together, do each other's make-up, etc.
ETA: Oh and I definitely don't think anyone is "ignorant" for their views on the "perfect family".
Logan David 03.27.08
Jacob Riley 05.18.09
{Member since 2007}
This is so true. I can't begin to tell you how many other people (not DH or myself) in our lives were disappointed when we found out our second was a boy. I honestly couldn't believe some of the comments we got.
Logan David 03.27.08
Jacob Riley 05.18.09
{Member since 2007}
2 beautiful children
proud mommy!
There's no right or wrong in this discussion. For every "I am closer to my brother than to my sister," there is a "my sister is my best friend in the whole world."
99% of the time, when I tell someone it's another boy, they get a look of sadness and then try to conceal their disappointment. It's sad to me, but thinking about a possible close relationship between my boys does make me excited about the future. That's not meant to take away from anyone who has boy/girl siblings.
Sounds like you are taking offense lol.
So I take then that you agree that a perfect family is a boy and a girl. That's fine. I think healthy happy children make a perfect family but thats just me. Also, it's in alot of threads that's the only reason why I'm bringing it up, not because I'm taking offense. Maybe it is a way people justify their family? Maybe it is to cover up gender dissapointment. I can also understand why people might come to this conclusion, boys are into cars, girls are into dolls bla bla. All I am saying is that from my experience it isn't always true. I agree that it depends on the children's personalities and up birnging. I am very lucky to have one of each and hope one they they will be as close as my brother and I are and my dad and hsi sisters. I also hope that your boys will be best friends too :-)
Lol. Really? You don't think your post sounds like you're "taking offense"? Mkay.
First bolded part: Absolutely not. I'm not sure where you got that from in what I wrote!?
Second bolded part: Thanks!
Logan David 03.27.08
Jacob Riley 05.18.09
{Member since 2007}
So true. When I tell ppl I'm having a boy this time, they're always like "PERFECT!" And I really don't agree-- 2 girls or 2 boys to me would have been perfect. Although that usually comes from ppl who don't have kids or just 1.
My coworker (dad of 2 girls) told ppl who said stupid comments "this isn't Burger King-- You can't have it YOUR WAY!"
Honestly, I'm so happy to have two girls. For me, I have a sister and a brother, and while my brother and I have always gotten along, having a sister only 26 months younger was great growing up and I had hoped secretly when PG w/#2 that it would be another girl so that hopefully she can have the same relationship with her sis as me!
I got you beat..I'm still PREGNANT and people are asking if we're going to go for #3 to "get our boy". Ya know, because our family isn't complete unless there's a boy in it
. We just tell everyone that we're absolutely done having kids, even though we do plan on a 3rd lol..it's just easier. Truth be told, DH and I don't give a crap if #3 is a boy or a girl, so I really don't see why anyone else does. So annoying.
2 beautiful children
proud mommy!
Yawn...this is getting old. Just because I think people who make these comments are ignorant does not mean I am taking offense. I think it is just a silly assumption. And yes, it is getting tiring hearing people say this over and over. These are just strangers blogging. Why would I be offended by them? You must be one of those silly people lol.
LOL...see
My sister-in-law and I were just discussing this. My 5 1/2 yr old girl and 4 yr old boy are soooo close (and have been since he was born - she adores him). I have seen the same thing with other siblings I know of opposite gender. Two of my sisters-in-law are 18 months apart and they are NOT close and had HUGE sibling rivalry growing up.
My brothers are 2 yrs apart and were close until puberty. They have not really recaptured that closeness now that they are in their 20s.
I don't know if my two will always be close (crystal ball, please!), but I hope they are.
My co-workers were acting like that this week! Not that their opinions matter, but I just told everyone that I was pg after my 20wk u/s, where we found out we're expecting another girl. People were saying "Well hopefully you'll find out it's a little boy and then you'll be done." WTF!!! I told them we were perfectly thrilled to be having another little girl. And who says we'd feel done even if it was a boy! I tried not to let it get to me since they aren't important people in my personal life, but it's still irritating to hear five times in one day.
I had a relative in my immediate family tell me we could do IVF to get a girl next time!!!!! Now she is clearly 110% oblivious about IVF. She means well, but this was said the DAY we found out I was having another boy. Seriously. I was astonished.