How soon after baby #1 did you start IVF for #2?

Katietwin

...If you needed  to do IVF a second time, that is.

 Still rolling the idea around in my head for a second.  I won't likely decide about it until Chris is at least 15 months, but...I'm trying to get my thoughts together on this.

For those of you who had a second recently - is it a HUGE transition for you?  Here are my hangups:  a) life seems pretty perfect right now, and we feel blessed just to have Chris. We worry about "tempting fate" for a second, and that life won't feel as peachy. b) my body, though it will never be what it was, is almost to the point that I can feel good about it again. I worry that my skin, now that it's not as firm as it was already, will look much worse after a second pg.  c) Our house is OK, but once we have a second, will feel very small. 

But...in the "FOR" column, I've got a big one.  I don't know if I can have an only without feeling guilt that I did not provide Chris a sibling due to my above-referenced hangups. 

Input for my "FOR" or my "AGAINST" column is more than welcome. 

K 

LVBlvd

I don't know how helpful this will be because we always knew we wanted more kids and started trying right away after DD was born...but we went back to the RE when Paige was 9 months, cycled when she was 11 months, and got our BFP right around her first birthday!

I don't know what we would have done if we weren't totally sure we wanted more.  I was asking the OB as she stitched me up from my C-Section when it was okay for me to try again : ) 

Kristin&Frank

People say having #2 isn't twice as hard, it's 4x harder.  I agree with it.  HOWEVER, now that Joe (#2) is 1 year old, things are getting much easier.  He's not a blob of human.  He can feed himself, etc, which makes a big difference.

We wanted #2 close to #1.  When I called the RE to make the consultation appointment for IVF #2, I expected about a 3 month wait to get into the doc's calendar.  When I called, they had just had a cancellation for 3 days later!!!  So the boys are closer than I expected them to be in age, but now, it's fantastic!  They're 17 months apart. 

Jack was still a "baby" when we started up with #2.  If we waited a few months, he would have hit his crazy persona (call terrible 2's, but he wasn't 2 yet) and we may have waited longer.  I'm glad we did it exactly the way we did!

The two boys are great friends already.  They wrestle and tickle and play.  I love it!

manda429

I was going to do my FET in April, Jake would have been 13 months.  I figured it might take a few tries and I didn't want to have any regrets that I waited to long. 

When I got pg, I had just lost about 10 lbs and was starting to shop for clothes again.  I definitely had a hard time with "losing" my body again...but I am working out a lot more during this pregnancy and my weight gain has been good (up until now, maternity pants really make it easy to overeat!)

Before we started trying, I was already feeling sad that I couldn't get pg again.  So it didn't make any difference if we were trying or not.

 I wish they were further apart, but really, I'm just happy to be pg.

InACitySoNice

I was terrified of trying for #2, which we tried for when DD was 16 months old.  I didn't want life to change for any of us, especially for DD.  But I wanted to give her a sibling.  I just kept that in the forefront of my head the whole time.  And now that #2 is here, it really was the best decision for us.  The girls love each other so much, they play together now, they keep each other company and make each other laugh, teach each other, and they'll have each other for life.  The little things -- like dividing myself between two, having not enough money and not enough space and being tired a lot -- none of that really matters most of the time.  I'm glad I have my girls. 

What's scaring me now is do I upset the apple cart and go for #3?

I think it's perfectly normal to be scared.  It just means you love #1 so much.  But you'll have more than enough love for #2, too.  GL!

AvaLikeLava

We made the first contact with the clinic the month after DS turned 1. We knew it could take awhile to get started, so we weren't really expecting 2 under 2.

I needed to stop nursing and have 2 normal cycles before going back for an FET round.

Our #2 hasn't arrived yet, but yes I expect it will be a big transition for ALL of us. I completely relate to your first concern. Life IS pretty perfect. Well, now that G is close to 2, he's tantruming a bit more and that can be pretty challenging. A bit less perfect, but unless we wait until he's 6, I doubt it will be much better

Our house is a 3 bedroom home. We LOVE having a spare bedroom for family/friends to stay in. With a new baby we won't have this luxury anymore and I really, really wish we could've afforded a larger home. However, we live in CA Bay Area, and homes in the 4bdrm range were ridiculous. A 4 bdrm home was simply NOT affordable, and we've made so many changes to our home now, I can't imagine leaving and starting over in a new house. Plus we'd never get our money out with the dip in market.

I have financial concerns: daycare is $1400/mo/child. We are fine now and can handle daycare, the mortgage, 1 car payment, and also contribute to 401K. Can we do the same with 2 kids?

I worry about not spending enough 1:1 time with G once the baby arrives.

I worry about not spending enough 1:1 time with DH.

I worry about how much time I would need to take off work with 2 kids getting sick, and alternating illnesses. My job really needs me onsite, and my manager is NOT happy when my kids are ill (that's a whole other vent I can't have a different time)

However, these concerns are not timing of children but just having more than 1 child

Good luck with your decision.

Katietwin

Thanks, gals - I guess my concerns aren't so foreign or far-fetched, which does make me feel better!  

Andrea - You are a rockstar.  Maybe it's just because I know you locally, but - I was wholly impressed that you took on that 2nd pregnancy so fast. And I am loving your list of girl names, btw.  Saw them on the blog. You have some good ones in there! 

Ava - Amazing how attached I am to my guest room.  My family LOVES coming here because of it.  Definitely trying to find ways to keep it, but probably cannot.  And my sister lives in Alamo - so I know your real estate pain!!!  In the end, I know all will work out - but...the process might not be as smooth as I'd prefer!