Passive-aggressive comebacks

Mrs. Mo

So, we have a ton of family coming into town next week for a family member's wedding. I KNOW that at least 2 people will either make some sort of comment or just flat out ask us if/when are we planning on starting a family. I'm normally the type that just says " I don't know" because either I can't think of anything off the top of my head or I'm trying to "play nice". Now, obviously I do not want to make any type of a scene, but since I have become even more sensitive to this since getting our test results back, I want to basically tell them to shut up w/o actually saying such.

What are some good passive-aggressive comebacks for when someone asks you something regarding this?

Mrs.Umm

Told SIL that when I get KU, she'll be the second to know. That pretty much stopped her asking.

XXXXX222

I wish I could find a link to a hilarious list of comebacks someone posted a while back.  "When I stop smoking crack" and "We thought we wanted kids, but when we saw what hellions yours are we changed our mind" were on there.

jessjo04

"When DH's sex change surgery is finalized"

NikkiBenzo

I had a few people aske me when we were going to have another one a few days after I had emergency surgery to remove my tube with an ectopic pregnancy. I was still very raw with emotion so I just said, "We are trying but it's not that easy for all of us."

rrcraz7

I stopped being passive and became agressive. That ended the questions.

I would just tell them there is no reason to continue asking because when your ready to talk to them about it you will talk to them. Until then there is nothing to say on the subject.

ConnCottager

I'm with you - I'm terrible with in-the-moment responses to that question. I'm such a bad liar that I'm afraid people will be able to tell what's really up anyway by my response.

I end up saying "I don't know" - because I really don't know. As for the "WHEN will you be ready to start trying?" - I just say, "We'll see." I just stick to vagueness!

MissLadyTay

When someone asks me, I always say "five years."  Even my mother gets this response.  And I'll keep saying it until we announce that I'm KU.

The key is to say it in a very flat tone that makes it pretty clear that further questions are not welcome.

If someone persists with "why so long?" (only my own mother has asked this) I am prepared to say "we want to make sure we can stay married that long." 

Edit: clarity

O2BaMom

DH and I are Christians so my response is geared towards that (we've been married over two years so we get a lot of pressure and TTC is a secret).

Friend: So when are you going to have babies?

Me: Ask Jesus and get back to me.

Friend:

It gets the point across.  Good Luck!

Melissa2216

I usually stick with something vague like, "I don't know...we'll see."  Then make sure you change the subject right away.  Even the nosiest people would realize that coming back to the subject of babies and asking more questions would be awkward at that point.

ConnCottager

MissLadyTay:

When someone asks me, I always say "five years."  Even my mother gets this response.  And I'll keep saying it until we announce that I'm KU.

The key is to say it in a very flat tone that makes it pretty clear that further questions are not welcome.

If someone persists with "why so long?" (only my own mother has asked this) I am prepared to say "we want to make sure we can stay married that long." 

Edit: clarity

Bahahaha! Love this one!

ManiacMcGee

I like "We're still practicing"

macdidlyicious

Well there's always the "when we stop having anal" which is and always will be my favorite. I wish I had balls to say that though.

Until then I just give a real hard side eye and not say anything. They usually understand that its an inappropriate topic of conversation. Silence makes it fun.

O2BaMom

MissLadyTay:

When someone asks me, I always say "five years."  Even my mother gets this response.  And I'll keep saying it until we announce that I'm KU.

The key is to say it in a very flat tone that makes it pretty clear that further questions are not welcome.

If someone persists with "why so long?" (only my own mother has asked this) I am prepared to say "we want to make sure we can stay married that long." 

Edit: clarity

 

LOL! Nice!

Mrs. Mo

macdidlyicious:

Well there's always the "when we stop having anal" which is and always will be my favorite. I wish I had balls to say that though.

Until then I just give a real hard side eye and not say anything. They usually understand that its an inappropriate topic of conversation. Silence makes it fun.

 Bahahahaha. It's usually an older relative that asks, so I'm pretty sure that Great Aunt Millie would have a heat attack if I said that

honeyb518

ManiacMcGee:

I like "We're still practicing"

 This...most people get the hint, but they also get so awkward at the mental image of you and DH/SO having sex that they seem to drop the subject. Thats what I have found anyway! 

macdidlyicious

Mrs. Mo:

macdidlyicious:

Well there's always the "when we stop having anal" which is and always will be my favorite. I wish I had balls to say that though.

Until then I just give a real hard side eye and not say anything. They usually understand that its an inappropriate topic of conversation. Silence makes it fun.

 Bahahahaha. It's usually an older relative that asks, so I'm pretty sure that Great Aunt Millie would have a heat attack if I said that

Noooo but she would never ask again. And she would tell the rest of the family and no one would bother you about it until you announced you were pregnant.

SoonToBeMrsDoctorDan

My principal asked me the last day of school ... basically all female 8th grade teachers are pregnant at the moment except for me and one other.  I told him he'd be the 2nd to know and he was like "Well I don't need to be that early on the phone chain!"  He got the hint!!

A good friend asked me this weekend at a wedding (2 days after AF arrived so I was feeling bitchy) and I said "Why I love giving yours chocolate and then sending them home.  I can't do that with my own!"  Note, she asks every time I see her, so I've used chocolate, beer, wine, coffee ... anything kids shouldn't have!

Magenta728

O2BaMom:

DH and I are Christians so my response is geared towards that (we've been married over two years so we get a lot of pressure and TTC is a secret).

Friend: So when are you going to have babies?

Me: Ask Jesus and get back to me.

Friend:

It gets the point across.  Good Luck!

I like this! I am so going to use it

AmberZ2be

sulfababy:

I wish I could find a link to a hilarious list of comebacks someone posted a while back.  "When I stop smoking crack" and "We thought we wanted kids, but when we saw what hellions yours are we changed our mind" were on there.

Your wish is my command.

Top Ten Best Responses to "When Are You Having a Baby?"
10. As soon as I get off the crack.

9. Oh, are you interested in buying one?

8. I'm waiting for the Angel Gabriel to come down and let me know.

7. I'm not sure. Actually, could you remind me again how babies are made? I forgot.

6. I'm actually pregnant with puppies right now. Isn't that wild?

5. It's the craziest thing, but when I met your kid, I ran out and got my tubes tied.

4. Oh, I'm pregnant right now! By the way, do you have anymore Scotch?

3. We're waiting until we can get one through mail order because I have a feeling IKEA is gonna have the cuuuuutest babies

2. Next Sunday at half past five.

1. I don't know, when?

kscarlett5683

I usually say, "what are you, on womb watch?"

And that usually shuts them up.

niceybee05

AmberZ2be:

sulfababy:

I wish I could find a link to a hilarious list of comebacks someone posted a while back.  "When I stop smoking crack" and "We thought we wanted kids, but when we saw what hellions yours are we changed our mind" were on there.

Your wish is my command.

Top Ten Best Responses to "When Are You Having a Baby?"
10. As soon as I get off the crack.

9. Oh, are you interested in buying one?

8. I'm waiting for the Angel Gabriel to come down and let me know.

7. I'm not sure. Actually, could you remind me again how babies are made? I forgot.

6. I'm actually pregnant with puppies right now. Isn't that wild?

5. It's the craziest thing, but when I met your kid, I ran out and got my tubes tied.

4. Oh, I'm pregnant right now! By the way, do you have anymore Scotch?

3. We're waiting until we can get one through mail order because I have a feeling IKEA is gonna have the cuuuuutest babies

2. Next Sunday at half past five.

1. I don't know, when?

::dies:: I would never have the balls to use the other ones but #1 is perfect.

Lkat17

macdidlyicious:

Well there's always the "when we stop having anal" which is and always will be my favorite. I wish I had balls to say that though.

Until then I just give a real hard side eye and not say anything. They usually understand that its an inappropriate topic of conversation. Silence makes it fun.

Hahaha. Wish I'd had that in my arsenal earlier. 

This thread is full of awesome. 

karbarr

I just say "oh I dont know...maybe soon"  I absolutely hate when ppl ask.

O2BaMom

Magenta728:

O2BaMom:

DH and I are Christians so my response is geared towards that (we've been married over two years so we get a lot of pressure and TTC is a secret).

Friend: So when are you going to have babies?

Me: Ask Jesus and get back to me.

Friend:

It gets the point across.  Good Luck!

I like this! I am so going to use it

Merry Christmas!