WTH am I going to do?? Re: Nonstop tantrums!

clp1027

DS has always been a high maitenance child, but the last few days have been absolute hell! He has been completely out of control and has screamed so much that his voice is raspy now. I just took him up to his bed and shut the door because I really can't take anymore. I'm at my limits. This is my 3rd attempt at a nap today and he's now overtired.

The tantrums are over anything and everything. He freaked out for almost an hour because I wouldn't let him eat an entire 1 lb. block of cheese. He freaked because I wouldn't let him open the oven that was 400 degrees. He freaked because I wouldn't let him pull all the cushions off the couch or touch the knives in the dishwasher. These are not negotiable things. I try to be really calm and soothing, but he just hits, kicks, pulls hair, etc. I'm at my whits end.

There's no reasoning with him because he has cognitive delays. Picture yourself reasoning with a 12-14 month old. I consider myself to be a pretty patient person, but this nonstop insanity has me in tears. I really don't know where to go from here.

brightning

I am so sorry to hear that.

Could you maybe talk with his pedi or therapists to get some solutions? He's clearly frustrated.

That would be so hard to deal with! I hope you get some answers soon!

mrsmikey

Does he have his 2 year molars yet?  I'm not kidding.  DS is the same way when he's cutting teeth and I tell myself no way in hell would teething make him that insane but it does, it really does. 

clp1027

He does have his molars, but we did go through this when they were coming in too.

He's definitely frustrated. His therapist thinks his speech delay is the main source of his tantrums. I agree, but it has gotten so much worse these past few days. He even tore up one of his pop up books today. He's just so angry.

mrsmikey

Could he be in any kind of pain otherwise?  I'm so sorry, I'm sure you're beyond frustrated right now.  I'd probably try to make an appt with his therapist if it doesn't stop soon.  Has anything changed lately with your routine?

clp1027

Nothing changed with his routine, but some things changed with our house. He learned how to get the gates open, so we took them down. It gives him a lot more freedom and a lot more opportunity to get into trouble. We also rearranged our living room and he doesn't seem to like change. He's been purposely pushing the lamps off the tables, throwing stuff on the floor and pushing chairs around (we have wood floors, so they slide easily).

He doesn't seem to be in pain. In fact, he's quite happy when he can go rummage through the pantry and get ahold of things he's not allowed to touch.

He's also been refusing to ride in his stroller or in a cart. Maybe it's just testing the limits, but geez... he's become the poster child for terrible twos!

neverblushed

I feel like you need help from a pro. You're dealing with quite a complex situation.  Any chance you can get a referral to a social worker or some other professional who can help out?  I'd go back to whoever diagnosed the cognitive delays and ask for a referral.  If that well has already proved dry, I'd ask around to local moms in my area for recommendations.

Hang in there!

brightning

You might want to ask on the Special Needs board, too. Good luck!

roseroseroseroserose

I'd take him to the pedi. Not sleeping and being grumpy means eat infection for K. Sorry Hun!

ceecee31

He sounds alot like my cousin's son.  He's 3 years old and can be extremely defiant at times.  When he can't do what he wants (and it's usually only when his mom asks him to do something) he screams, cries, yells and hollers until his voice is hoarse and raspy.  He was evaluated by a social worker and a program called "Early Steps" but they found nothing wrong with him cognitively and said that his problems were strictly behavior based.  I can't recall the suggestions they gave to my cousin but either she didn't follow them properly or gave up quickly because he is still giving her grief and having tantrums often.  I would definitely seek the counsel of a doctor or therapist and get some help.  I've seen what my cousin deals with and if you're having to go through 1/2 of what she does I can only imagine how tough things can be.  Wishing you lots of luck (and extra patience)! Hang in there!

MirandaHobbes

I just talked to DS' EI therapists about the nonstop tantrums in our house (same story as you- same age too!). They were all very no-nonsense and were like- hey, sometimes he's just got to cry it out. They said for some kids they actually use a large picture of a child crying with a stop sign. It's like DS needs a reminder to just stop his behavior (although I do notice whenever I say "no whining" or "no crying" he seems to whine/cry more- so I feel like he understands some of it!). Sometimes he'll stop crying and start laughing over something he sees the cat doing and the tantrum is over. We've been lucky that he can be redirected fairly easy (e.g. instead of handing him more cheese I'll give him some sugar-free koolaid, which he loves). EI tells me this is fine for now. It does worry me though because eventually he has to learn that he can't always get what he wants. He is so much better behaved with other people (daycare has very few problems) so we're leaving him with a neighbor for a morning this weekend and DH and I are having a little break!!!! Good luck and hang in there!