So bummed... kinda long

EliStar

I'm so bummed out. We're putting our baby making plans on hold indefinitely and though I know it's the right thing to do and pretty much our only option, I'm depressed about it and just generally feeling crappy.

I have a herniated disk in my back which I've struggled with for a loooong time. Sometimes it's fine, but it kind of goes through cycles where it acts up and screws up my life. It's in the lumbar area so the pain will spread into my legs and buttocks and when it acts up it makes it difficult to walk and do everyday things like shopping and cleaning. I've tried all kinds of treatment for it and after a few different methods, I got it under control. I was able to get off my meds. I make a conscious effort to avoid doing things that will make it flare up and for the past year or so, I've been feeling good. I've only had pain occasionally after strenous activity and I've been off all meds for about a year, which was our goal before TTC.

But then, a few weeks ago it started acting up again. I was worried, but was praying it was just temporary and would go away. Sigh.... No such luck. On Friday I was in so much pain I could barely walk. On Saturday, DH forced me to go to the hospital because my ordinary painkillers weren't working and I was just miserable. So yeah, now I'm on a new cocktail of meds and I'm pretty much starting treatment all over again. I'm sure I'll have to do a few more epidural injections and get back on Lyrica (nerve meds) which means no more TTC for us.

It sucks, but in a way I'm glad this happened now. I believe God has a plan for each of us and if I had any worries about why we've been trying with no luck, it is perfectly clear to me now why He wouldn't want me to go through all this with a baby on the way.

I just HOPE that with a new round of treatment I can find some more permanent relief.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading! I'm off to go catch up on posts...

britishbride05

Eli, who is your pain management doc?  My mom sees Dr. Villasuso- he's on Sunset and around 50 something.  She has 13 herniated discs in her back and is on lyrica, neurontin, etc, etc... but he's specializes in this treatment she's had done which has let her live off her meds for some time.  It's not permanent, but it helps fix the pain.  Granted, she has 13, so nothing works 100% for her, but on 1 it should work pretty well.  It's a variation of the spinal block, but it's done with Ozone.  Yeah, the stuff in the atmosphere!  I'm not exactly sure how it goes, but he's an amazing pain management doc.  If you want his info, I can pass it on to you.  Let me know!!

EliStar

I wonder if he's at the practice where my doctor used to be. My pain mgmt doc is Emilio Suarez - his office used to be on Sunset and like 59th but he moved - he did my three epidural injections. I'm going to have to start Lyrica again as well - i think it's what helped heal my back before, but I was on it for a year before I was really better. I can't believe your mom has THIRTEEN herniated disks. I know you've mentioned it before but jeez... it's just nuts. I feel so helpless with just one, I don't know what I'd do! Poor thing.

And yes, I'd love the info. Could you please email it to me? I am in the process of scheduling appts with all my doctors, one more couldn't hurt. elistar1210 at gmail.

CesEve99

i just wanted to send you good thoughts. i know the pain of a herniated disc and know exactly how you feel. my pain may not equal yours but just know that god does have a plan for you. everything happens for a reason. ((hugs))

feel better soon!

MrsVictoriaB

Oh Eli, I'm so sorry you have to go through this physical and emotional pain. I hope this time is the miracle cure so you don't have to suffer anymore (hugs)

doris03

Eli, I'm so sorry you are having to go through all of this...  I hope this new round of treatments helps and like you said God has a plan for each of us and your turn to be a mom will come - first you gotta take care of yourself :-)

rach312

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this.  I know you've had pain with your back before - it's terrible to hear that it's acting up again.  I hope you can get back to yourself pain free soon.

sandye

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through all this pain. I hope this new round of treatments gives you some much needed relief. Take care.

VandRicky

oh girl, I am so sorry! Like the other girls mentionned, it's so important to take care of yourself first. Pregnancy and motherhood are REALLY hard on your back (I have back issues myself). God does have a plan for you and Anthony!! xoxo

MrsJOSEnADRI

Eli, I'm so sorry you are feeling this way.  I can't believe it just came back so suddenly.  I know it's been a long time and I can't imagine what the pain must feel like.  I know how much you wanted to get pregnant, but you're right that it's for the best to put the TTC plans on hold.  The pregnancy would exacerbate the back pain.  I hope that your doctors can find a permanent solution for you.  I'll be sending lots of t&p's your way so that your back pain is alleviated soon!

::hugs::

cocojack10

Oh Eli, I'm so sorry you are having more episodes of pain and discomfort.  Hope the new "cocktail" helps and you find a more perm solution.  I can totally understand that you are bummed about the TTC journay, but like you said, God has a plan.  Focus on getting better, and things will fall into place.  ::Hugs::

MellyMelB

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this and put your plans on hold. Above all, though, your health is a priority. Take care of yourself and things will work out. Things do happen for a reason - hopefully you can get the permanent relief you are looking for so that you can chase a baby, pain-free, soon enough.

<<<<<HUGS>>>>

Albah

Herniated disks are no fun and I truly hope that this crisis resolves swiftly for you with the meds you are taking! I know you are disappointed in terms of TTC, but you are so right....a healthy pain-free Eli will make for a wonderful mommy someday soon!

EliStar

Thanks so much for all the prayers and kind words, girls. I'm trying to be positive and am definitely going to focus on getting better. Hopefully I'll be in a better position in a few months (or less! Hopefully!).

I've made appts with all my doctors and a few new ones. We'll see how it goes and I'll keep you guys posted.

Gator09

I am so sorry you are having that much pain I know it sucks putting off TTC because everyday when you are trying seems to take an eternity. Just know you will have a nice strong back to carry around your beautiful baby soon enough. Enjoy the sleeping in for now and date nights. I hope your back pain lets up soon and that you get back on track asap

 

mjz

Eli, I'm sorry to hear about your pain and putting TTC on hold. I hope you have a speedy recovery and are able to get back to TTC soon. T&Ps your way!

chachita07

I'm so sorry Eli that you have to go through this. I am praying for you that they can find a cure for this. Hugs to you and never give up. Always keep your faith.

MRS.IHEARTMIKE

I'm a little late here but i'm so sorry about this road block! I hope everything works out and I am sending you good vibes and thoughts!!

taxbride

Pobrecita!!  I hope your doc helps you find a treatment plan that works for you and that you are back to ttc as soon as possible

Tania

karenlisa714

Oh Eli, I'm so sorry!!! You are in my thoughts.

turtlebabies

I'm so sorry you are going through all this pain and frustration. But you are right. I have learned so many times in life that even when I didn't understand why, god always knew why he did things. Hopefully you'll be able to find a permanent solution this time so that you can then get pg without worrying about an episode during your pregnancy.

Good luck!

StephE623

Things definitely do happen for a reason. Take things day by day and the baby will come when s/he is meant to come. You need to be in the best shape possible, both physically and mentally, for the baby so if taking a break from TTC for a few months is going to make that possible, then a break is a good thing.

KT&BG

I'm so sorry to hear about your back pain, but hopefully your new treatment will work and you will be back to pain-free soon.  I have never experienced a herniated disc, but I have had back pain for years related to disc problems (L5/S1) and have had some success with physical therapy and acupuncture. I also wanted to share my experience just to let you know that pregnancy does not always exacerbate back problems - in fact in my case I felt better while pregnant than I had for years before then. I still had some minor backaches due to the belly, but they were not in the same place as the pain that I associate with my back when it normally acts up and and were much less severe.  I was also going to physical therapy a couple of times a week from a few months before conceiving through the end of the first trimester, which I think helped.

I asked my OB why I felt better while pregnant and she thought that it might have been due to the hormone relaxin, but I don't know for sure.

Good luck with your treatment and I'll be thinking of you!

Mrs.CHD

Oh Eli I'm sorry, I hope it gets better soon and that you can find some permanent relief. Stay positive hun and I'll be praying for you