Scared to poop....... people come on! respond!

kgail11

I am reposting this (scroll down for my other poop post) so more can see...  sort of the same issue as poster below, but my son is already pee-trained, in underwear all day long. We did the 3-day last weekend and it went very very well.

BUT! He is soooo scared to go when the urge to poop hits. It's plain as day that he has to poop (his face goes slack and he says 'poops coming!!!' haha!), but he fights it with all he's got. He either holds it til the end of the day (when he has an accident) or he has a small accident right then and there.

He is sad/disappointed in himself bc he DOES know the correct thing to do. I just don't know how to get him to DO IT. I am overreacting I know, he is 2 not 6, but it's so so so frustrating when he is SO close to getting it and adamantly refuses. 

Tips?  This seems to be a very common problem (from my google searches/asking around) yet no one responds to these poop posts!!!

butterball123

We did the 3-day potty training too and DS had the same exact problem.  He would hold it and hold it and hold it.  When he would get the urge, he would tell us he had to potty, we'd get all ready, he'd stand (yes, he likes to stand when he poops...strange) and not 2 seconds later he's start crying saying, "I can't do it Mommy/Daddy".  It was terrible.  We just kept encouraging him the best we could and when I knew he really had to go, he would leave the bathroom in tears (without underwear) and I would just sit on the toliet and wait for him to come back.  He would come back in a few seconds, try again, and we'd have the same "I can't do it" response.  Then he'd scream and cry while I rubbed his back and tried to tell him that he could and that sometimes it just takes time and we have to be patient.

I would try to get him to sit and wait it out, but that never worked.  The first time he did it, he was scared and I could tell, so I tried to make it as positive and exciting as I can.  I said, I can hear it coming, keep pushing, and then FINALLY when he pooped, I screamed "Oh WOW, that was a big one".  Then we high-fived.  It sounds so silly to type this all out and I'm sure it's not great advice, but it's what worked for him.  We are on week #2 of this and he has gotten much more comfortable, but there were days where he would not poop at all, even though I know he had to.  And there were days where I just wanted to scream because he was screaming and I knew he was uncomfortable. 

I just re-read and I know it's not really a 'tip', but maybe it will help just a little (or at least I hope it will).

kgail11

That does help!! Just to know someone else went through the exact same thing..

So, was there any one specific thing you did to get over this hurdle? We've done it all, it seems. He is just SO SO stubborn and unwilling to push. He panics when he happens to be sitting on the potty already and the urge to poop comes.. he hops right off! And I can't physically keep him there, cuz that is wrong! But I so want to.. I won't lie! 

jkreevesfamily

DS is just now showing interest in peeing on the potty...but NO interest in pooping!  Right now, he's standing in the kitchen and won't let me near him while he poops.  Sorry, I'm of no help, but interested to see what others might say.  Hopefully, it comes quickly once we start working on peeing in the potty.  I'm not looking forward to poopy underwear.

MarknCalsMommy

I just posted above you a post about a night away, but this exact problem is my worry.  DS#2 hadn't gone since Saturday (not normal for him) and finally tonight had 6 small poops.  I almost wish I hadn't caught him having any of them, then it probably only would've been 2 big ones.  LOL.  But seriously, he wants to do right so badly (he'll tell us for an hour before his accidents that he has to poop, but can't ever get it out on the potty) and then if he gets caught in the act he stops and can't finish.  That's one part of the 3 day thing I kind of wanna give up.  If I don't catch him in the act anymore, I'm almost relieved because he can finish instead of struggle another time.

I'm hoping by just relaxing about it and not stressing too bad, it'll eventually come.  I wish he'd just give himself a break!  Half the time we catch him in the act, it's actually because he runs up to tell us...he wants to do right, he just can't get over the fear of doing it!

butterball123

kgail11:

That does help!! Just to know someone else went through the exact same thing..

So, was there any one specific thing you did to get over this hurdle? We've done it all, it seems. He is just SO SO stubborn and unwilling to push. He panics when he happens to be sitting on the potty already and the urge to poop comes.. he hops right off! And I can't physically keep him there, cuz that is wrong! But I so want to.. I won't lie! 

I don't know that there was a specific thing that helped him.  I did try and remind him that he could do it, and that I believed in him and that he done this before in his diaper but now instead of it falling into his diaper, it was just going to fall into the potty and then we could flush it down the toliet (which he LOVES to flush) and say 'Peace Out Poopoo" (This was DHs doing, not mine, ha!). 

PS...there were times where I just wanted to physically help him too, I won't lie either!

mrsmikey

DS had the same problem, and is starting to come around.  He didn't have a problem pooping in his underwear.  He run to the bathroom or another room and hide and poop.  So I would just remind him all the time we were cleaning up how next time we need to try to poop in the potty.  We also started letting him sit in the bathroom with us while we pooped.  It felt weird, I'll admit, but I think it helped him see that it was normal.  And he gets a big reward for pooping on the potty, like a cupcake or ice cream. 

When he does poop on the potty, he does it in private.  He'll sit on the potty in the bathroom with the door shut and I'll wait outside and just tell him to tell me when he's done.  I get nervous about doing that, but the times he has pooped on the potty he has done it in private.  He even did it at daycare for the first time yesterday, but his teacher caught him trying to hide and poop, he didn't tell her.  I'm hoping the more he does it, the more comfortable he'll get with it.  But then he had 4 pee accidents yesterday!  I have no idea what that was all about.