Updates...

LucyPevensie

... for anyone who is semi-interested and who read my very long, sad, stressed out post a couple of weeks ago. 

My sister and her 3 kids have a place to live.  They will move into a duplex that her deceased husband's parents own.  The parents (who she does not get along with, but oh well) are charging her rent - but half the amount that a duplex in our community would typically go for. 

It is not ideal - but it's a lot more ideal than being homeless - which is where they were headed.  It's tricky because they have to be out of their current house by August 8 - and cannot move into the duplex until September 30.  So for 1.5 months - they will literally be homeless.  My mom and I have to figure out moving, storage, and accomodations for all of them for that 1.5 month period - my sister is unfortunately totally incapable of taking care of any of it - she's very damaged and child-like in many ways.  It's hard.  But again, they have a place to go and it's in the same community they live in now - so schools will stay the same.  Hopefully my sister and her in-laws can get along "well enough" - so this can work out and the kids won't be uprooted again.  On a related note, she continues to not deal with her son's mental illness - but I can't solve that/force him into treatment - so it will play out however it's going to play out.

I am also coming to terms with Jack's remaining plagiocephaly.  I took him for a scan today and actually, since he got the helmet off 10 months ago he has improved 1.1 millimeters on his own (not a lot - but far better than if he had regressed which was my fear.)  I am working on accepting his remaining asymmetry on the back of his head and his forehead and face (and as you can see by my sig pics - he looks great - it's largely a mom thing, what I see.  And if you DO see it, jeezus, don't tell me!!  I'm trying to get my anxiety under control right now.) 

I still regret that we ended helmet treatment "too soon" - but as I was advised to go that route by medical professionals at the time because he outgrew it, I know it's not "my fault" - I just regret that it went that way.  It's hard because I'm usually so aggressive and NOT quick to trust docs - I do my own research - but in this case I wanted him out of the helmet, so let myself be led. 

I have come to find out your brain largely stops growing between age 2 - 3 believe it or not (and then hits another growth spurt during teen years according to research that I uncovered) - I am hoping he sees some additional improvement on his own over the next year.  I also want to figure out what I can do to make pregnant and new moms more aware of plagiocephaly - and the fact that it DOESN'T "round out" on its own, as so many pediatricians like to tell moms.  Only in the most mild of cases will it fix itself - beyond that - you have to seek treatment.  And I did.  But still have regrets.  But again, today's appointment yielded positive news, and I have a beautiful, healthy child who I am so, so lucky to have in my life. 

So that's it - things are a little calmer.  I am dreading trying to figure out my sister's move and storage of her things, etc. - but somehow it will get done.  Thanks for all the kind thoughts and words - as always. 

 

 

malloryo85

I'm glad things are calmer if only a small amount. Your sister is so blessed to have you. You've been in my thoughts and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that things will only get better from here.

DavezWife

Jacks head couldn't BE more perfect.

;-)

 

Now... let's all talk about YOU for a moment... you have so much going on... are you at least sleeping ok at night? Have you got a moment to yourself at all? you and you know who ok? I'm worried about YOU.

I wish we didn't live so far apart... we'd so be having a girlz nite out soon!

SeaSoul

DavezWife:

Now... let's all talk about YOU for a moment... you have so much going on... are you at least sleeping ok at night? Have you got a moment to yourself at all? you and you know who ok? I'm worried about YOU.

I was wondering the same.  I'm glad things are working out for your sister, and you are feeling some weight off your shoulders b/c of it.  As for Jack's head - I don't see it, and I'm sorry it still plagues you!

JillRock96

I'm glad that things seem to be a bit calmer -- (((HUGS))).  In case no one ever tells you this, you are an amazing sister. 

And, to me, Jack looks absolutely perfect.  He is such a handsome boy!  But thank you for raising awareness -- this is something that I'm really looking out for with the twins, since I know it is more common with twins (especially my CeCe, because of her position).

LucyPevensie

I wasn't sleeping for a while there - which made me even nuttier.  Nyquil helped... (1/2 a dose here and there, nothing crazy!)

I got some decent sleep over the weekend, and my anxiety level *seems* to be going down.  I say *seems* because sometimes it flares up seemingly out of nowhere and it's a horrible, clutching, can't eat, almost physically painful feeling.  I am going to see a doctor and prob get on meds .. but am dragging my heels.  Because I don't wanna.  But I can't be a good mom if I am insane so there's that.

I have also lost 22 pounds ... 15 by eating less and exercising - the last 7 by not eating unless I force myself to do so and stressing out and being insane.  But I fit into all my old clothes! 

I'm hangin' in there.  You know who is ... himself.  Not terribly supportive.  Not terribly terrible (just semi terrible.)  We're hangin' in there.  I don't have the energy to do anything else, frankly.   

Girls night sounds nice..

crystalgirl

DavezWife:

Jacks head couldn't BE more perfect.

;-)

 

Now... let's all talk about YOU for a moment... you have so much going on... are you at least sleeping ok at night? Have you got a moment to yourself at all? you and you know who ok? I'm worried about YOU.

I wish we didn't live so far apart... we'd so be having a girlz nite out soon!

Ditto all of this.  Big hugs, lady!

preheatedoven

((HUGS)) to you. We are dealing with some similar family issues (my sister is bi-polar and self-medicates with meth...she has 3 kids, they lived in another state but my family has taken them away from my sis, they arrived this weekend), and I have to keep telling myself that I need to do what is right for MY family. Some days I don't have enough in me to deal with us, let alone all of them.

I am so sorry you have to deal with all that. You are an awesome person for doing what you have, but if that is all you can do, its enough. 

And I totally agree with pp, Jack's head is perfect! 

Mrs.Babbsy

Agree with pp your sister is lucky to have you and you are a very strong woman. I know you will figure out the rest!

 PS. your son's head is adorable:) I think he's a a cutie pie!

 

MayDayGirl

Hey girl.. it sounds like a much better update.. though obviously still not perfect. I'm glad you're starting to feel more calm about it all.

I hope everything with the move ends up much smoother than you anticipate! Sorry I haven't commented on your other posts.. sometimes the nest gets all screwy with me and won't let me post.. but I've been reading.

jenber77

Just wanted to offer some virtual hugs. Glad things are a bit better for you... but wish they could be a whole lot better. Wouldn't it be nice if life could be -- *gasp* -- easy for a change?

Be kind to yourself. You're a wonderful sister, aunt, and mother. You really are.

charmcitygirl

You are the best social worker for your family, but you do need to take care of YOU!  I'm so impressed how you're able to balance work, your outside family and the needs to DH and Jack.

I just want to make sure that you're making time for you and for your needs.  I feel empowered when things start to fall into place with others.

Meds really helped me keep a stable head on my shoulders.  Nothing was going to change with my situation, but I could change how I reacted to it!

((hugs))

12106mrsmun

Love you sweetie!  I'm glad things are somewhat calmer.  You're a great sister!!

And Jack is an absolutely beautiful boy....and you are a great mommy.  Please be sweet to yourself!!  [[[HUGS]]]

epphd

My goodness you have a ton on your plate - and you are handling it all SO well. You get up, take care of your family and even sometimes yourself.  For that, HUGE pats on the back.

And LP - being totally honest here - I am looking at Jack's face and head and trying to find some sort of something that looks off... and I can't.  1000% honest - I can't see anything at ALL that does not look right. I know that moms have some sort of super power to see anything that is amiss with their babies, but from where I'm sitting, he really does look perfect!

(((hugs)))

FaithRocks

I am really glad to hear that at least something has worked out for your sister. All the best with the next few months. I am also so sorry about Jack's head but it's great that things are getting better on their own. He's a gorgeous little boy!