WWYD?

jennterrell

preface - I may DD this post for the off chance that persons involved could conceivably find it...

i have a mom friend that I have to work with on certain volunteer/community projects, and we usually have meetings at her house, because it is centrally located, and because she has the youngest baby in addition to her toddler.

the thing is, her house is a total disaster. Not so much filth as just major clutter and toys everywhere on the floor. OK, and empty beer cans. And some safety issues. I have a hard time concentrating on what we are supposed to be accomplishing when i'm there. Add to that, the fact that i usually have my very inquisitive toddler with me, and I truly cannot concentrate on keeping him safe and anything else at the same time. The other moms involved don't seem bothered. Maybe they live the same way? Or maybe they are just more chill than I am.

I really want to participate in our projects, but I just leave there feeling soooo stressed and like i was unproductive with our time. I feel selfish for suggesting another location, as it means she would have to haul all kinds of baby things with her, and would have to drive with her kids. (most of us only have one, or have a sitter, or our kids are older)

Any suggestions?

mrsjjd

Get pregnant and have a baby smaller than hers... JK!!  I had a friend like this, and she always wanted to have things at her house. I don't think it was because of her kids, but because she really didn't see that her house was a complete disater.  I finally just became adament that I wanted to host at my house. I acted like I was hurt because I really wanted the chance to host.. Maybe suggest that you don't want her to have to be put out by hosting (although, I could see how she would argue otherwise since she is not put out because she does not clean), or suggest a public location. Is there someone else in the group that you could talk to. Just because people are acting comfortable does not mean they are.

jennterrell

mrsjjd:

Get pregnant and have a baby smaller than hers... JK!!

believe me, i'm trying

i think i will bring it up to the one other member that i know keeps a clean house. I haven't been to any of the other houses, so i'm afraid they have similar habits and would be offended or not understand.

Hippinski

Beer cans?  Umm...no.  Suggest somewhere else.

Genevieved

I would try and suggest somewhere else or at the least suggest rotating houses of the ppl who are willing to host.  I know someone and I don't feel comfortable taking DD to their house just because there is just too many things for DD to get into and I have to watch her like a hawk.  This person also has kids!

nsees

I would try to be insistent upon wanting to host to "take your turn".  Then when you do host have some good snacks so people want to come to your house more.

As a mom with 2 kids now, you have to leave your house sometime.  Some of my first trips were to our rotating playgroup at other mom's houses.  It gave me encouragement to know i could take the boys by myself with no problem. 

Also, I don't think it should be that big of a hassle to her, grab the kids, diaper bag, infant seat, and go.  Snacks and juice provided ;-)