Stepping back into IF is REALLY REALLY SCARY!

lrrb

Okay ladies....those that have gotten preggo a second time with IF did you feel the same emotions you did the first time regarding the getting pregnant?  I swear I was doing great (feeling confident that I would be able to get pregnant) until this cycle where Ive been doing my ovulation kit and Im on day 23 with no serge and once again ALL the fear is coming back.  Im going to the dr. on Thursday and Im praying praying praying he will put me back on Cloimd at least to start and not make me "try" a few months first (if he tells me this then back to my RE I will go, no questions asked).  I know I just need to trust God and that his timing is perfect but man I'm scared! 

malloryo85

I don't blame you at all for being scared. GL and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!!

pamela-matt

I never had problems dealing with it while we were trying to conceive DS and I was very hopeful the first time after DS was born.  With every negative result I felt worse and worse.  I try my best to stay positive but it is hard sometimes.  I am praying for you.  Stay positive the best you can and realize there is a plan

LVBlvd

I was not nearly as stressed with IVF #2 as I was with #1...but it is still scary! 

Best of luck!!! 

sommerrayne

Not to scare you but my emotions were WORSE with 2IF. I had this feeling like "Oh just 2-3 months max and I'll be pregnant" and I should have been had my a$$hat doctors would have done what I begged. Anyway, 17 months later I'm finally pregnant. The months dragging onto months and the silent clock of previous children's ages growing each month, doing the "well now she'll be ___ age when next baby is born IF I got pg this mo", wondering if it WOULD happen again, wondering if I was tempting fate, etc....it was all worse for me.

All I can say (and I say this with 1stIF too): BE YOUR OWN BEST ADVOCATE. If you feel like they're screwing around, go somewhere else or throw a HOLY SH!T FIT til you get what you want.

The kicker to my situations: 17 months of begging, 17 months of doctors telling me they knew better than me, finally got PG on the EXACT SAME PROTOCOL I got PG with my daughter and the 1st mo trying it this time around (actually both times!).

wvagirl

Hey Leslie,

We have been trying again too.  On our own for about a year, with progesterone supps for three months, and  I am gearing up for another IVF in late August/early September, and I swear, I am total mess. 

Seriously, I have like twenty different scenarios marching around in my head.  And they are making way too much noise for me.  Pregnant, not pregnant, full term baby, preemie, twins, nothing at all, high blood pressure, death, pre-e, hellp, setting fire to large sums of money.....you name it, all these thoughts and more are streaking through my head. I thought I was in a good place about all of this, but, uh, guess I have a little more PTSD than I realized.

I called to schedule my shg, and trial embryo transfer last week and I could barely speak.  I'm sure the nurse thought I was a total nut.  

Hang in there and good luck to you.  The stresses and fears may not be the same this time as last, but they are real, valid and every bit as painful. Take care of yourself. 

Lizard1131

I know.  I am in the 2ww after IVF for #2 right now, and am even more crazy than I was the first time.  I started testing this morning at basically 9dpo!!!!!  It was a BFN of course.  The worst part is I am in such a better place w/ God this time, but am still having trouble trusting His plan.  I am praying about that too, though LOL!  I don't think the fear ever completely goes away when you have the desire to mother.  I also hate that I am spending time obsessing over this instead of enjoying every precious moment I can w/ DD.  I'm sorry I don't have any wonderful advice, but I can def. empathize.

Mouseygail

its one hell of a rollercoaster ride, no matter if you have been through it before and know "how it feels".  (((HUGS)))  and GOOD LUCK!!!

lrrb

Thanks ladys it always makes me feel better to know im never alone in my feelings!  I love you girls!  And Im going to be my own advicate bc last time I wasn't and got pushed around until I pretty much said THIS IS WHAT WE ARE DOING....lol

foxybride

I hear ya on that one!  I was just fine before we did FET because I didn't think about IF, didn't care about it, and was content.  But then we decided to do FET and got a BFN - now I am freaking out that I really won't have another child.  It's so hard, even the 2nd time around.

Thinking about you!

shegak

I've had a harder time this time around than my first time w/ IF.  The first time was quite difficult and emotionally I had a tough time, but I was lucky enough to get pregnant after my 2nd round of injectables/IUI.  This time I thought I'd be more relaxed about it, and at first I was.  The emotions all came back, but I started out dealing with them better than I did the first time.  

 But this 2nd journey has been a million times harder due to my losses.  Miscarriages on top of IF is an awful combo, and this has been the struggle of a lifetime for me.  I hate IF...... I wish it didn't exist.  

Best of luck to you!!