toddler bedtime - WWYD?

kat.in.the.hat

Since Marion has started MDO (which was on the heels of us leaving her overnight for the first time, maybe related, maybe not), she's really going through a phase where she wants me to put her to bed at night.  Since we stopped BFing at 6 weeks, I've never put her to bed.  Josh has always taken care of that.  But now, at both nights and naptimes, she asks to be rocked (again, never has she wanted to be rocked) and at night, I can hear her asking for me to put her to bed.  She's stopped kissing me good night because it gets her so upset that dada is putting her to bed.

I know a lot of you have mentioned that when you had #2 or #3, even if your kids were fine pre-new baby with dad putting them down, all of a sudden wanted mom to put them down.  Should we try to keep up with Josh putting her down, assuming this mom thing is just a byproduct of MDO and some separation anxiety, or should I just go on and start putting her to sleep and let Josh put the new baby down when she gets here?

rayskit10

It could also be the inevitable arrival of her new sister. Kids are acutely aware of this stuff, even if it's very subconscious. I would continue to have Daddy put her down, maybe making a little more time for her than you normally would in the process tho. That way, when the baby comes she doesn't see the new one as a disruption of her routine. I would allow T to sit with me and hold my hand for a couple minutes while I nursed Mathis on the couch before Daddy put him to bed. It worked really well.

mom2ll

Luca goes through phases...  I put Lila to bed and DH puts Luca to bed.  It's our routine.  However, about 2 times a week we switch.  It's a welcome change for everyone.  Maybe make it a "special" Friday night thing.  Kind of a treat.  Man on man is the best way to handle 2 IMO.  Because I nursed Lila for the first 3 months, we went boys and girls for bedtime.

KKMMex

bpaullo:

Luca goes through phases...  I put Lila to bed and DH puts Luca to bed.  It's our routine.  However, about 2 times a week we switch.  It's a welcome change for everyone.  Maybe make it a "special" Friday night thing.  Kind of a treat.  Man on man is the best way to handle 2 IMO.  Because I nursed Lila for the first 3 months, we went boys and girls for bedtime.

I recommend keeping your routine of DH putting M. to bed.  I second the rec for man on man. 

When E. was an infant, DH always missed bedtime because I put her down for the night super early, like at 6 pm.  By the time he got home from work I was absolutely fried and immediately went off-duty.  So unless he gets home super super late, DH puts Sarah to bed.  She begs me to put her to bed on some nights but I usually stay strong and let DH do it.  If I cave then I've painted myself into a corner.

 

LisaK2b

Emmy did/does that.  DH puts her to put about 95% of the time, but before the baby came and right after we came home, so only wanted me.  When the baby is a newborn, the bedtime isn't the same so it worked out and I was able to be there when Emmy needed/wanted me while DH feeds the baby, I put Emmy to sleep.  After a month of so of her knowing that she can have either one of us, she want back to wanting daddy.  I honestly don't ever want her to feel that I can't be with her because I choose the other baby.  I guess it's a guilt feeling that I have.  But it's worked out.  For the past 2 weeks, she's wanted me at bedtime again.  But Ally goes to bed at 7:30 and Emmy goes to bed at 8 - 8:30, so it's no big deal.  DH does all the house chores and all the night wakings to compensate.  

aprilprincess

Addie doesn't have a sibling or seperation issues but she's sometimes really insistent that i put her to bed. sometimes she doesn't care who it is. so it could just be a phase too.

kat.in.the.hat

thanks yall.  I think we're going to stick with dad for a little bit since she's not throwing a fit about it, just requesting me, and then deal with any of the changes that come with her baby sister's arrival.