Spanking a 9 month old

janinekrause

I absolutely agree you should call CPS and it really is horrible. I also know in a small community it is hard and brave to do it. I think everyone on here judged you way to harshly when you were asking advice.  I am glad you are going to do something about it.

ineffect

Holy crap.  Where the heck do you live?  What is wrong with this woman?  Are you SERIOUS?  A SWITCH?  I didn't think people even used those things anymore?  Of course that's terrible!  This woman needs some serious serious SERIOUS education.  OMG.  I would even consider calling CPS for someone like that. 

 

Yikes.

GideonsMom

ctab:

Here are some direct quotes from To Train Up a Child where spanking, whipping, and/ or switching a very young child are mentioned:

https://whynottrainachild.com/2010/04/20/quotes-from-ttuac/

Wow that is disturbing and it does sound a lot like what she is doing. 

GideonsMom

janinekrause:

I absolutely agree you should call CPS and it really is horrible. I also know in a small community it is hard and brave to do it. I think everyone on here judged you way to harshly when you were asking advice.  I am glad you are going to do something about it.

Thank you.  

mommy411

I just looked at that link. Here is a passage from it...dear God sick can we say "brainwashing"

The leading edge of the attack upon parental authority is now the anti-spanking movement. They will use any means to police the home and mandate parental conduct, but they know that to receive public support their home incursion must be seen as a necessary act of compassion. They paint themselves as concerned now for the children they would have aborted a few years earlier

exhausted_bride

janinekrause:

I absolutely agree you should call CPS and it really is horrible. I also know in a small community it is hard and brave to do it. I think everyone on here judged you way to harshly when you were asking advice.  I am glad you are going to do something about it.

ITA with this.

I also agree with everyone that said to call CPS. That is soooo sick and sad. Wow.. I just could not imagine. There's some sick, bizarre people out there.

Manalyzer

ctab:

Here are some direct quotes from To Train Up a Child where spanking, whipping, and/ or switching a very young child are mentioned:

https://whynottrainachild.com/2010/04/20/quotes-from-ttuac/

This literally made me sick. Good God, I can't believe there are people out there that do this!

JulyFiveBride

ctab:

Here are some direct quotes from To Train Up a Child where spanking, whipping, and/ or switching a very young child are mentioned:

https://whynottrainachild.com/2010/04/20/quotes-from-ttuac/

That was seriously a mini-tutorial on abuse. gross, gross, gross. If I ever saw someone sit on their child to spank them or hit them with "a larger tree branch" I think someone would have to physically restrain me. It makes me furious to know that someone actually wrote a BOOK recommending that. Sick.

 OP, call CPS. Switch churches. I was abused as a child and so many people looked the other way because "he's a good person" or a relative or whatever. No one called CPS until I was in middle school. You have no idea what it meant to me that someone saw me and cared enough to say "this isn't right. You don't deserve this." Call. Even if what you see is questionable (which, imo, this isn't, it's abuse) call CPS and let them sort it out. That's what they are there for.

evenstar622

I am a mandated reporter in my state (in any state, actually).  Are you aware of the fact that hitting a child with ANY kind of instrument (stick, paddle board, anything) is 100% ILLEGAL!?!?!?!

Maybe these people are just uneducated or are just doing what their parents did.  But it really is illegal to hit your child on the butt with anything other than an open hand.  Call CPS.  The kids won't be taken away, most likely.  But the parents will be informed on proper spanking.

Symharmony

ctab:

Here are some direct quotes from To Train Up a Child where spanking, whipping, and/ or switching a very young child are mentioned:

https://whynottrainachild.com/2010/04/20/quotes-from-ttuac/

That's disgusting!  People like this should not be allowed to be within a hundred feet of children.  They are sick, sick people!  These Pearl people belong in a prison where the other prisoners can train them.  

To the OP, I agree with everyone else, call CPS.  Record the actions of this woman and use that as your evidence.

sunnyday016

Symharmony:

ctab:

Here are some direct quotes from To Train Up a Child where spanking, whipping, and/ or switching a very young child are mentioned:

https://whynottrainachild.com/2010/04/20/quotes-from-ttuac/

That's disgusting!  People like this should not be allowed to be within a hundred feet of children.  They are sick, sick people!  These Pearl people belong in a prison where the other prisoners can train them.  

To the OP, I agree with everyone else, call CPS.  Record the actions of this woman and use that as your evidence.

How are these Pearl psychos NOT in jail? It makes me sick that they market their abuse as "Christian parenting". There is nothing Christian about beating children and it makes me angry that their books are on the shelves.

chrislynd

Definitely call CPS.  That's just not ok.  And I'd switch churches too, because I couldn't stomach being in the same room with people like that, especially at a CHURCH, for crying out loud.  I couldn't even bring myself to open those links.

macchiatto

ctab:

It sounds like you have a Pearls follower on your hands.  She has probably read his book, To Train Up a Child (https://www.nogreaterjoy.org/), which contains specific ways to hit (including the best type of instrument) a child including those under one.  Children have died from this method of child rearing.  And, those that follow him tend to be cult like so the chance that she will listen to you is slim.  Most likely she is hitting him harder at home, and a call to cps might just save his life. 

Oh yes, I was trying to remember the name of the book this was from; I've heard of it. And had a chilling conversation with a young woman I know who babysat for a family who follows their methods and was telling me how well they worked and how the kids were so happy and obedient. :shudder: Those Pearls people scare me, seriously. I agree with calling CPS and changing churches!

macchiatto

sunnyday016:

How are these Pearl psychos NOT in jail? It makes me sick that they market their abuse as "Christian parenting". There is nothing Christian about beating children and it makes me angry that their books are on the shelves.

Agreed! I just read the link and it makes me sick to my stomach.

I think I might need to chat with the woman I mentioned in my previous post and see if it was really this book she was talking about; I can't imagine her thinking that was OK. 

And OP, I meant to add, I get that this is awkward when it's such a small community that involves ILs. But with something this serious, you as a responsible and caring adult need to make waves if that's what it takes. (And yes, you might be able to keep the report anonymous but I realize there's a chance the info will come out.) You can handle the flak better than a 9-month-old can handle this abuse.

Lesley0228

I used to be a CPS investigator. In my state, parents are allowed to physically discipline their children, but if they leave marks- then it is classified as abuse. However, age and use of weapon would in this situation bring in to the level of abuse, whether or not she is leaving marks. Any evidence you can gather would be helpful to present. In my state, you had the option to be anonymous, but unfortunately, those were more difficult to follow up on and often considered less legitimate. We were not allowed to give the parents the reporters name though. If you call CPS (and please do!) I would check on whether or not they would have to give your name up. I hope you do what's right for these little kids. Maybe some education for these parents would go a long way.

kmf143

You have to AT LEAST approach her & let her know her behavior is noticed & unliked..start there.

MegGary

macchiatto:

sunnyday016:

How are these Pearl psychos NOT in jail? It makes me sick that they market their abuse as "Christian parenting". There is nothing Christian about beating children and it makes me angry that their books are on the shelves.

Agreed! I just read the link and it makes me sick to my stomach.

I think I might need to chat with the woman I mentioned in my previous post and see if it was really this book she was talking about; I can't imagine her thinking that was OK. 

And OP, I meant to add, I get that this is awkward when it's such a small community that involves ILs. But with something this serious, you as a responsible and caring adult need to make waves if that's what it takes. (And yes, you might be able to keep the report anonymous but I realize there's a chance the info will come out.) You can handle the flak better than a 9-month-old can handle this abuse.

Exactly! You might be the only voice that child has. To do this & think it's right, them not you OP, is sickening.  

GideonsMom

kmf143:

You have to AT LEAST approach her & let her know her behavior is noticed & unliked..start there.

We are doing this this week.  

kmf143

GideonsMom:

kmf143:

You have to AT LEAST approach her & let her know her behavior is noticed & unliked..start there.

We are doing this this week.  

Good! Keep us posted..I at least won't flame

britishbride05

punkfiction_v.3:

GideonsMom:

She is not really beating them though. She is smacking them on a leg with a stick. She also is not the only one in the church that does it. 

wtf. you deserve each other. 

 

she's not beating them?????  just because she's not punching them or only using a STICK on their legs doesn't mean it's NOT abuse.  ANY unwarranted violence, and THIS would be considered that ESPECIALLY on a 9 month old IS abuse.

and just because another "well-respected" family does it doesn't make it right.  Well-respected members of the community cheat on their wives, cheat on their taxes and do other awful things and that doesn't make it right.