How much help did you need?

4510heather

How much help did you need the first few months with twins? 

Our only relatives close by are my MIL and my DH's aunt.  They are thinking about canceling a two week trip they had planned for next April because they don't want to leave us alone "when they will need to be helping us so much."

I think that's crazy, but wanted to check with you guys.  My OB will deliver me by 38 weeks (beginning of January), so the kiddos will be 3 months then.  Plus my DH will be a SAHD and I will still be on maternity leave then.  I can't imagine us needing so much help when there will be two of us at home at all times...thoughts?

My mom had me and my older brother plus my younger brothers (who are twins) by herself by the time the twins were two weeks old...surely my DH and I can handle twins on our own at 3 months, right?

macchiatto

If you're both home full-time, by 3m that should be no problem. My H was only home the first 10 days. We had no relatives in town but I had two different friends that each came over about once a week for a couple hours to help me out for the first 3m. We also had friends bring meals fairly often the first two months so we almost always had a meal or leftovers on hand to eat. Another set of friends came and cleaned our entire house when the boys were ... I think about a month old? So sweet of them. That was it. Somewhat more help would've been fine, but again, if you're both home all the time it should be no problem to have your relatives gone for 2 weeks! (Barring unusual circumstances, of course.)

4510heather

Thanks!  That's what I thought, as well, but the grandmother-to-be is being a bit crazy (understandably - first grandkids)!  Maybe I could tell her not to cancel the trip, but if she wants to feel like she's helping she can stock our freezer with meals before she leaves:)

 

goldengrace

I had zero help and was totally fine, and my husband works 24 hour shifts, so I would be home with the babies for days at a time by myself. Help is nice, but not a necessity in my opinion. hth!

Temp159135562506975

if you and your DH know what you are doing for the most part with babies - IMO you don't NEED a lot of extra help.  Sure- you are tired, babies are hard work- but with 2 adults and 2 babies - life is not so hard.... at least it was not for DH and me (and we had our older son, too). 

DH was home with me for 4 weeks after the twins were born - and i have family in town- but they only really helped on weekends when Griffin was home - came over to play with him- that was the biggest help.  We didn't ask anyone to clean or anything.

Meals being brought over are a HUGE help - our friends and church brought over many meals - that was the best help we got and needed... other than that - the actual babies didn't need help - they slept most of the time back then.

if i had triplets i might be saying a different story... 2 babies = two hands = I can handle that easier than triplets

MrsDonnelly2007

I think you should be fine by 3m...if anything the extra food is golden, I wasn't cooking until about 3m or so b/c of Roman's colic and mh was getting worn down from going to work and then coming home to cook.

macchiatto

4510heather:

Thanks!  That's what I thought, as well, but the grandmother-to-be is being a bit crazy (understandably - first grandkids)!  Maybe I could tell her not to cancel the trip, but if she wants to feel like she's helping she can stock our freezer with meals before she leaves:)

 

Sounds perfect! We had two refluxy babies who didn't sleep well at night for the first 4m, so DH and I were both pretty tired all the time. Not having to cook was wonderful!

lgurian

by 3 mo my LOs were STTN and everything was golden, i didnt need any help at that point. i appreciated it, but def. didnt NEED it. esp. if DH is home too! 

dleigh81

My twins are 5 weeks and my DH and I are doing great on our own. He works during the day and helps with middle of the night feedings and I have them during the day. We have been managing just fine since week 3 as I had help from my mom and MIL the first few weeks. They helped with laundry and meals. But I agree with everyone else, if you could get help by just having a stocked fridge that would be a great and you'll be fine.

erinri02

My boys were in the NICU for 9 weeks.  When they came home, we kept them on the same 3 hour schedule the NICU had them on.  We only kept them on it until their due, so about 3 weeks and then we went to on demand feedings.

We had help for a few days and then it just became to much having my house full of people all the time so we told everyone we wanted to see if we could do it by ourselves.  We MADE it work even though we were exhausted.

Hubby was home for a week and when he went back to work, we worked out a schedule for us.

I would go to bed at 7 pm.  DH would feed them at 9 and midnight.  I would get up at 3 and be up for the rest of the day.  On the nights my hubby worked late, I would go to bed right after their 9pm feeding and he would take the 12 am one.  It wasn't perfect but we made it work.

I looked at it like it was only temporary so I only had to make it through x number of weeks.

Yes you can handle your twins on your own at 3 months.  You nap when you can.  You switch off propping one and holding one to feed.

You learn as you go.  You learn what works, what doesn't, shortcuts, anything to same time you will figure out!

benkari

Other than the days when DH wasn't able to help because he was too sick and I had round the clock help with the 4 of them my mom came a couple feedings a week, my BIL and SIL came every night other night for the bed time feeding.  I think with 2 I would have had no problem handing it myself.