Annoyed with a "friend"

msprouse111

Sorry, I need to vent a little....I'm 35, will be 36 when the baby is born.  I told my boss I was pregnant and she was so excited.  Asked me if I told another co-worker, a work friend of mine yet.  I hadn't because I didn't think she'd be as happy.  But I felt bad for not telling her too, so I did. Her reaction?  "Are you f**ing crazy?!?  What are you thinking having a baby at your age?"  Seriously???  This really hurt.  I said that I am happy and this is what I want.  She said well if this is what you want then I'm happy for you.  The next day she apologized and said it was just the old lady in her (she's only 45) and that she hopes I know she's there if I need anything.  But I can't seem to get over her initial reaction.  Everyone else I've told has been so happy and supportive.  Anyone else get this sort of reaction from anyone? 

I'd also like to note that I'm happy to have found this board and see that there are so many other women out there and guess I'm not that crazy after all

Strunella

Too many people open their mouths without thinking.  I have several friends who have had babies in their mid-late 30s and some who are in their early 40s who are still hoping to add to their families.  If anyone I know thinks I'm too old, thus far, they've kept it to themselves.  Everyone I've told has been over the moon happy for us.

LeesMyBaby

Don't feel bad.... I had my son at 36 and I am so thankful to have him.  I am 38 now and TTC again (after a loss in May)  I have a 13 y/o daughter and tried for 10 years after her before I conceived my son.  Don't even worry about it.... it's your life!  Congrats on your pregnancy. 

I've never posted on this board before but read here quite often.  

Anetters

When I told my best friend of 20+ years I was pregnant the first thing she did was calculate how old I would be when the kid would be 18 (I'll be 56). I was shocked and said what difference does it make. Then I told her "so by the time the next one is 18 I'll be 58 or older. I think she could tell I was hurt. Age doesn't matter to me or my husband so we waited. People say some stupid things.

msprouse111

Thank you all.  I honestly think I'll be a MUCH better mother then I would have been 10 years ago.

dunkin76

That's a really weird response.  I am 33 (just happened to check and see what this board was all about) and if I get pregnant right now I will be 34 - almost 34 1/2 when the baby is born.  This is right around the time that most of the women I know from college are having their first babies.  Second babies will likely be at age 35 or older.  That's pretty common for women with careers and/or who go to grad school.  It's harder, yes... but a response like that seems odd to me.  Quite frankly when I see all the 21 year olds on here TTC, I wonder what the he!! they are thinking.

ateytelb

No not crazy at all. I will be turning 41 when this one is born. The closest to "are you f* crazy" I heard was "you are so brave". I think it's a nicer way to state the same idea.

praying*4one

You're not crazy...enjoy and don't listen to anyone trying to spoil your mood.

If I get pg now I"m sure I'll hear plenty of age comments. (not nice ones)

ladybugsmom

36 is not "too old" by any stretch of the imagination.  In fact, women are successfully (some purposely) having children into their 40s.  Your "friend" doesn't sound like much of a friend at all.  Clearly, she has some deep resentment or issues with the subject.  Does she have children?  I would ignore her.  I think her initial reaction was authentic, but she realized what a jerk she was later.   I also don't believe you should qualify or explain your decision to anyone.  It's not anyone's business if you decide to have more kids at 37, 38, or 40. 

Also, I think you're a great person for not cursing her out immediately.  LOL! 

 

SASSI712

well, when we told MIL that we were pg with DS, and mind you, I was 34 at conception, and 35 at birth, her reaction, was " I figured you guys would start quick because of how old you are"  DH and I met when we were 30, got married 4 years later and with in the year we were pg...so yeah, I get It!  but I wouldn't let anyone spoil that time for me!  now  with this pgcy, she had a different view,  strange but what ever, lol

38christine

Im 38 and think Im much more reddy to be a mom now than when I had my first baby 20 yrs ago.Babys born to mature mothers a much better care for and have a stronger social and emoshional start in life.Thats not to say some 20 somethings cant offer the same thing a 40 somthing can its just mature mothers have been their done that in life and are typicaly more centered.

sshruff1

dunkin76:

That's a really weird response.  I am 33 (just happened to check and see what this board was all about) and if I get pregnant right now I will be 34 - almost 34 1/2 when the baby is born.  This is right around the time that most of the women I know from college are having their first babies.  Second babies will likely be at age 35 or older.  That's pretty common for women with careers and/or who go to grad school.  It's harder, yes... but a response like that seems odd to me.  Quite frankly when I see all the 21 year olds on here TTC, I wonder what the he!! they are thinking.

Ha!  I saw a post the other day with "how old is everyone?"  There were 19 year olds on there TTC with their 2nd.  At 19, I was a mess.  At 21, I was a disaster.  I was too busy living my single (partying) lifestyle.  I think at 36 (37 when baby comes), I am mentally and financially ready to take care of a baby.  I'm not worried about my age!