I hate my life — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I hate my life

So I thought me and DH were doing really well considering what we went through.  Then today he just pretty much did a 180 and told me that he wanted me to leave and that he was going to file for divorce.  I lost my only grandparent, my dad, my baby, and now maybe my husband all in the last 11 months! I can't take anymore.  I was sad before but now i can feel depression sinking in.  Today, after i packed some stuff and went to my moms, i didnt get out of bed till almost 3:00.  The only thing I had to eat was goldfish and chocolate cake and i dont feel like eating anything else.  I just feel like everything fell apart and I have no idea why.  My husband told me to take my wedding ring off before I left and said he was going to get the divorce papers today.  I havn't heard from him at all today.  Everything just came crashing down on me! 
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Re: I hate my life

  • Oh honey, I'm so sorry! ((hugs)) I hope everything works out for you.
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  • Oh Ally. I'm so, so, sorry you have to go through all of this horrible stuff at one time. I am absolutely at a loss for words. {Hugs]
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  • my whole body aches and I've felt like I was going to throw up all day
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  • I am so sorry. That's a lot to handle in 11 months. can you talk to a counselor? Would he be willing to talk to a grief counselor with you? Im so sorry.
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  • OMG I am soo sorry. Did he give you a reason why? First of all who is he to tell you to take your ring off? I hope you have it on...
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  • I dunno if he would or not....he wont even talk to me now
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  • Lkat17Lkat17
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    Oh, Ally. I'm so sorry!! I hope that that with a little time and space your husband will cool off and reconsider. My heart goes out to you!! (((Hugs)))

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  • IouliaIoulia
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    Oh my.  I'm terribly sorry. (((hugs)))  Perhaps there are other ladies on here who've had marital troubles following a loss.  Even without going to extremes of your situation, I think we all know that the situation of a loss is fraught. 
  • I am so sorry. We are here for you!
  • I am so so so sorry.... you will be in my T&P's I hope something works out from you somehow, someway.
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  • Oh my gosh, my heart is breaking for you.  Since you said he won't even speak to you this might be a long shot, but could you maybe schedule an emergency appointment with a relationship counselor?  Or a pastor or clergy person?  Even if your husband won't go it might help you to talk to someone.  I am so so sorry you are going through this.  I don't know what else to say except that you will be in my T&P.   ((hugs))
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  • My divorce will be final later this week.  I'll spare you the story.  I hope that it doesn't come to that for you, but in any case you need to know that whatever happens you CAN do this.  It's a whole different kind of pain that you'll have to deal with on top of losing your little one, but your life isn't over.  I will be saying a special prayer for you tonight.  If it is indeed the end of your marriage, know that tomorrow will still come.  You'll cry and you'll want to crawl in a hole, but you'll be so surprised at all the people that will come out of the woodwork to lift you up.  Take a deep breath and remember your support system (a church, family, friends).  Go to them.  Tell them everything.  They will help.

    Hopefully, you can repair things and your relationship with your husband will come out all the stronger.  Please be honest with yourself in reappraisal.  My husband was abusive - not physically but certainly emotionally and mentally.  The signs were there, but I didn't see them until I had a bit of distance.  If this is fixable it won't be done in a day, so use the time that you have to make certain of the choices that you're going to make.

     You are not a failure.  You will come out of this.  I'm so very sorry that you have to know this pain.  I am struggling to make use of this opportunity.  I can reinvent my life and my goals over the next few years, and opportunities to do that are very few in life.  I hope that you can make peace with whatever is next.  Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk at all.  You're not alone.

  • Oh my goodness, my heart is aching for you.  I hope that with a little time and space he will realize he made a mistake and ask you to come back (if that's what you want).  ((((huge hugs))))
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  • I am so sorry about your losses and now this on top of it. Maybe your husband is struggling with his emotions and doesn't quite know how to feel/express himself.

    Did he give you any reasons? Would he consider any therapy? Perhaps he doesn't know how to deal with the overwhelming emotions he is also experiencing

    I am so so sorry

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  • Oh my goodness, my heart is broken for you after reading this.  I no that there is nothing I can say that will make it any better. With your loss being so new, maybe he just needs a little time and space to clear his head-he probably isn't thinking straight.  Maybe he will realize that soon.  I am so so sorry that you are going through ALL of this.  You will definitely be in my prayers.  ((hugs))
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  • I am so sorry. My heart is aching for you but know you are not alone. My marriage with my husband is on the rocks also and we mention divorce several times a week. We're trying counseling and everything, but I just don't know if it's going to work out. I totally understand where you are coming from, although I'm more of the one pushing for an end to this nonsense. I have been saying "i hate my life" a lot also lately. I feel too that there isn't much to be happy about, but I'm trying. Hang in there. Hugs.
  • I am so sorry Ally that you are having to deal with all of this. There are no words that I can say to you that will make what you are going through any better, but just know that we are all here for you to provide you support the best we can.... And know that God is always there even if it does not seem like it sometimes.  You are in my T&Ps.  
  • I am so sorry that you have to go through this on top of a loss... you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
  • I'm so sorry! We are here for you ((hugs))
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