Friends with no children ?

meghans30

I have a friend who I have known since middle school - probable 15 - 20 years. She has no children, and due to my husband and I working opposite shifts, trying to get together w/out children is tough. The only family members close to me are my MIL and my mom - both work. If we go out to dinner and I hire a babysitter it'll be very pricey for me (we are both teacher and I have to be very careful with money while off for the summer). We haven't seen each other since Feb. , so I suggested she come here a bit before the boys go to bed, hang out, get take out, and maybe watch a movie. She never responded to me, but instead suggested that we wait to get together until my MIL can watch the kids.

So, is it unreasonable for me to think she would want to do this? Do you have friends that have 0 interest in your kids?

Sometimes I think this friendship is more work than it is worth. 

emiliemadison

Your friend can still genuinely want to be your friend and have no interest in your kids. And yes, I have several childless friends (who do not ever plan to have kids) and we're still friends.

Can't your DH watch the kids on a day he doesnt work so you can go out? Or what's wrong with doing as your friend suggests and waiting until your MIL can babysit? 

meghans30

emiliemadison:

Your friend can still genuinely want to be your friend and have no interest in your kids. And yes, I have several childless friends (who do not ever plan to have kids) and we're still friends.

Can't your DH watch the kids on a day he doesnt work so you can go out? Or what's wrong with doing as your friend suggests and waiting until your MIL can babysit? 

Yes, we could wait until a Sat. or Sunday night when my DH could watch them , but she just makes getting together difficult. A dinner with me is more an after thought really, squeezed between errands or other plans. I guess I just don't feel like she makes much of an effort. 

ShufflerChick

I don't know. While it's nice to get out once in a while with a girlfriend sans kids, I would think if she really wanted to see you it wouldn't matter if you went out or stayed in. And after your kids go to bed, she won't have to see them anyway!

Most of my friends don't have children because I'm relatively young and they're just not at that stage yet. However, they all understand how difficult it is to get out without the baby and they are always happy to come to us. They also make a big deal about how cute/big/smart/etc our daughter is, even if they don't have a clue about anything baby related. 

So yes, you can be friends with someone who has no interest in your children. But I would think as a friend, they would want to see you regardless, or at least could feign an interest in your family, which is an essential part of who you are.

Zenya

ShufflerChick:

 I would think as a friend, they would want to see you regardless, or at least could feign an interest in your family, which is an essential part of who you are. 

agree 

joy143dh

meghans30:

Do you have friends that have 0 interest in your kids?

Sometimes I think this friendship is more work than it is worth. 

This is my relationship with my BFF from highschool EXACTLY.  She has NEVER in 3+ years asked about me or my son or my husband.  The seldom times she has come over, she times it so DAvid is in bed.   Yet she writes on my FB wall that she misses me and loves me.  She's simply drama.   She's pregnant now and it's still All. About. Her.    She brought me into a bunch of crazy drama with her boyfriend a couple weeks ago and I finally realized how different we are.  I actually don't even like her.   She emailed me this morning and I basically told her off.  It was a bad day to mess with me anyway.

JOEBunny

My pre-kid BFF doesn't talk to me anymore.  Not since I told her I was pregnant.  She has seen me maybe 5 times since then and not in 2 years.

Temp970088312507122

My two BFF's don't have kids. BFF1 wants kids and is very into mine. BFF2 doesn't ever want kids, but still asks about my DDs and enjoys being around them. When I hang out with BFF1, it's always her coming over and having dinner with our family because she wants to see the girls. When I hang out with BFF2, we usually go out, just the two of us. I know she enjoys that more and I want to get away sometimes without my kids.

kertybird

My BFF doesn't have kids and although she lives kids we tend to only hangout when they are asleep or when I visit her in NYC. I am patient, I know that when she gets married and has kids we will have much more in common.