DH just pulled the rug out from under my feet!

BMWwife

:::: Take a deep breath and do not burst into tears:::

So DH just walked in from work and I'd really wish he'd just walk back out and try this again. He just told me that he has been thinking about it and he doesnt think we should "rush" into IVF if I'm not pregnant this cycle. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?! 

His logic is that this is the first cycle that I have ovulated on my own. No DH I did not ovulate on my own. I was on clomid for the 5th time. I explained to him yet again why I am not the only problem in this calculation.  That with his morph of 1% its highly unlikely that we will get pregnant on our own. I am so freaking mad right now. I really just want to cry.

I told him we aren't discussing it right now b/c I am trying to be positive about this cycle. We can revisit it if and when AF shows up. UGH

Yellow_Daisy

I'm sorry (((hugs))).  Sometimes I think DH's are just a little slow (I mean that in the nicest way).  Does he not understand the percentages of success with your diagnosis if you try on your own?

SweetyPy17

((((hugs))))) I'm so sorry honey.  I just think that men tend to take this "personally" sometimes and don't get that it's going to be extremely difficult without help.  Try and stay positive for this cylce - maybe you won't have to do IVF!

miesl

Ugh.  I'm so sorry he's springing this on you like that.  I'm sure he's just concerned and having a freakout about IVF.  I know it's hard to hear doubts from your spouse, especially about this.  Would it help if he and Dr. Google had a consult about low morph and IVF success vs IUI?

I'm sure my DH would have posted something similar when I expressed doubts about going for IVF #3 (we would have also needed to get another TESE done on him).  He started researching for himself... and came to the same conclusion - IVF #3 would probably be just like IVF #1 and #2 - or worse (increased chance of c/p or m/c).

Point is - we're both back on the same page after he had a chance to look more into what our situation was.  I hope your DH comes around and/or that you end up on PAIF without needing IVF :-)  *hugs*

njohnson1972

I am so sorry.  I do agree with the other ladies, for some reason, men just seem to have a harder time accepting IVF.  I think that they sometimes feel that it isn't "natural" making a baby that way.  Sometimes, it just takes time to realize that getting pregnant isn't going to work they way we have expected to.

(((hugs)))

scooterq

I'm so sorry!  Sometimes I think that because men often have a hard time asking for help with anything, it's no different with accepting help to conceive. 

(((hugs)))

Edwina.McDunnough

Oh no. Maybe he's worried and thinking out loud. IMHO I don't think fellas really understand what's going on, even though they try to. It's not their bodies, and they haven't had all these menstrual periods most of their adult lives. It's a mystery to a certain degree. I hope you and your H can see eye to eye about things soon.

Echloe

I'm sorry that he is pulling this on you.  If he doesn't understand what it will take for you guys to get pregnant you should think about having your RE explain things to him.

Medtwin

I agree..sometimes they are really slow in getting it.. my husband's mortility is low as well & he continues to be positive saying 'he knows it's going to happen'..but ive heard that thru all 3 failed cycles..  im sorry dh is being a wiener.. 

BMWwife

Medtwin:

im sorry dh is being a wiener.. 

 This made me laugh. Our last name is often miss pronounced as wiener. So much so that all my DH's friends call him wiener. 

BMWwife

Thanks for commiserating girls. I know he doesnt get it. I sometimes wish that I could take TCOYF and beat him in the head with it. Maybe then some of this would sink in. I'm thinking about pulling the "taking to his mom" card. She is a nurse practitioner that use to work with my RE. That kind of a is low blow though

We just had our IVF consult last Friday. The RE said very clearly while looking my DH in the face "I agree 100% that given your low morphology IVF is really your only shot at getting pregnant". He also threw out some other stats. What more proof does he need?! 

The thing that pisses me off the most is I had to beg/nag him to take his anti biotic his Uro prescribed. He never did finish all of them. He never attempted to take the fertility vitamins or anti-inflammatory.  His follow up for the Uro was supposed to be tomorrow. Yesterday he called me in a panic and asked me to schedule an apt at the lab for him to do his repeat SA. Uh sorry buddy that should have been done at least a week ago the Dr wont get the results in time now. So I had to cancel that apt for him.

If he is suddenly against doing IVF then he better get his act together regarding his swimmers. I told him today after he dropped that bomb shell on me that I suggest he get his butt back to the Uro though. Im hoping she will break it down for him. Although she told him initially we will more then likely need IVF.

I wouldnt be against doing clomid & TI some more if he pulled his weight. I will not do another IUI though b/c we are OOP for those. We have full coverage for IVF. I'm also dont know how many more clomid cycles my RE will let me do. I did 3 cycles (50,100, &150) with my OB. Then had a 3 month break. I have done 2 clomid cycles with my RE (50 & 100). He already said he wouldn't do injectable without IVF and he doesn't use Femera.

Please please please let me get a BFP this cycle and all of this will just go away.

DeputiesWife

::HUGS:: I am so sorry.

Sometimes our guys dont get it.

njohnson1972

I just read your latest update and I have to say, I would be so frustrated and upset.

My DH wants a child as badly as I do and will do anything for us to get that.  That means taking the antibiotics, the vitamins, making the appointments.  I feel for you.  (((hugs)))