39, pregnant, and having a rough time

jpustej

I usually post on the Parenting board, but my best friend has an issue best addressed here.  She is 39, 7 months pregnant, and this is her first, and probably last. She is not feeling well (achey), not sleeping, and just having an awful pregnancy. It is summer in Texas, so most days it is upper 90s to about 100 degrees, so that is affecting her as well. She called me tonight crying because she feels something is wrong if she feels this bad.  Her doctor told her that she is just pregnant, older, and it is summer, but I told her I would post here to see if there were others who just felt bad during pregnancy. I think she feels she is alone, especially in the wee hours of the morning when everyone else is snoozing away, but she is up. She said she is lucky if she sleeps several hours a night.  The position the baby is in is making her uncomfortable, so it just isn't going well. Please let me know your similar stories so I can tell her, and encourage her to join this blog!

JillAly

I was 40 with my first son and 43 with this baby.  Both were summer/fall babies so I was huge in both summers.  She is definitely NOT alone.  It is 90 and humid where I live and I am barely leaving my home.  The end of pregnancy is always miserable and summer just makes it that much worse. 

As for sleeping, has she tried buying a snoogle pillow?  It is shaped like a big letter C.  Top part is for the head, bottom goes between the legs and the middle part supports the stomach.  It really helped me sleep a little better- although towards the end- nothing will really help except having the baby!  I sometimes also sleep sitting up on my couch and that helps too.

Tell your friend to keep her spirits up- her baby will be here soon and being miserable will be a distant memory!  Then she'll just be miserable when her baby turns into a teenager- she'll remind her teenager what she went through during the summer to have him/her!

beyoga

I am 36 and pregnant with my first and probably last.  I am fatigued all the time.  I'm an avid reader and can't even manage to pick up a book.  I've had some lower back pain and I am nauseous all the time.  On top of that it has been 90-100 degrees every week.  She is probably fine, just nervous.  I am also constipated and have acne.  Where is my glow?  Tell her to hang in there she is not alone.

FlgBride

I'm 36 years old, 27 weeks, and this is my first.  This pregnancy has been difficult in ways that I would not have guessed.  I've been achy since the get-go, especially in the pelvic bone region.  I'm also lucky if I sleep 3-4 hours per night..........I'm okay until I have to pee, then there's little chance of falling back to sleep.  I just can't get comfy, even with my snoogle.  Your friend is not alone!!!! 

FWIW, I often feel bad, sluggish, and unproductive.........it can be very difficult to watch my pregnant friends live life as if very little has changed.  It sometimes makes me wonder as well if something isn't right.  I just try to remind myself that every pregnancy is different and also that I am doing the best that I can for how I am feeling right now.

mama2many

I'll be 39 in a couple of weeks, and am 26wks with my 5th, live in the high desert (90-100 all summer). I am trashed this time. My back hurts, I'm napping a couple/three times a week (definitely not usually a nap person), not sleeping at night, having anxiety attacks, sweating like some incredibly unattractive work horse, feel fat, no sex drive, can't breath, hips hurt....Really, she sounds pregnant and in her 3rd trimester. I woke up the other morning and thought "OMG, I can't believe I forgot this part" - This is why I keep getting pregnant, because I keep forgetting the hard parts after it's over. LOL.

The blessing is - it only lasts a total of 40ish weeks, and then you get the prize!

julybaby23

Tell your friend to hang in there. Everyone is different. I feel prettty good (I'm 37) and my mom had me at 39 and said it was her best pregnancy. The good thing for me is that symptoms come and go.. so I may have one really bad night but then I have two or three good nights. First trimester was the absolute worst for me.. It got a lot better after 17 weeks or so. Hope she feels better! If she suspects something is really wrong she should get another opinion.

smynings_bride

Tell her to hang in there (not that she has a choice)--I'm 40 and feel pretty good during the day but in the evening I start to feel like I can't get comfy and I'm itchy and irritable.  That's when I go upstairs, put on my pjs and lay in bed and watch tv by myself.  Somehow, that always makes me feel better and relaxed and I fall asleep soon after that. 

LyndaCarter

I'm not handling the heat this summer very well at all. I'm irritable, my hip is killing me. I can't sit, stand, walk, or lie down for very long so sleep has been pretty difficult to come by these days.

The snoogle is a good suggestion for support when lying on her side. Also, my friend spent her entire 3rd tri sleeping in a recliner because the bed was impossibly uncomfortable.

My friend is Tylenol PM or Unisom (both OB approved) about an hour before I want to sleep. Helps to take the edge off and I get about 4 good hours this way.

Libby33

She is definitely not alone! I live in AZ and practically every pregnant girl I know (regardless of age) is miserable. I love being pregnant and swear I would be a surrogate after this if I wasn't already 36, but let her know that she seems to be in the majority when it comes to being pregnant in the summer.

 And yes, the prize is totally worth it!

angelnumber8

I'm 42 and some days I can go like the energizer bunny and then there are others where I just want to lay around all day. When its hot and humid are the worst. tell her to take naps when she can and to walk it does help with the energy levels. I have bad sciatic pain but I find it helpful to walk for 30 min a day on my treadmill about a half an hour after I get up. If I waited until later in the day I would be too pooped.

BrideBuddies

Tell your friend it has nothing to do with being 39.  It has everything to do with being pregnant.

I was pregnant last summer and we don't have AC.  It sucked big time.

 

*littlered*

I'm 39 and also live in Texas and am miserable.  My doctor even just told me straight out last week that it's going to be miserable until the baby comes and the best thing to do is to get in a swimming pool regularly to feel weightless.  The heat is emotionally and physically draining, she's so normal.  Tell her to hang in there. 

 

 

OurDCLove

I was just lurking on this board for a few minutes and saw this post...

I'm 24 and just had my first child.  I'm in fantastic shape.  I just ran about five miles tonight in less than 30 minutes.  Still, I felt as bad during my pregnancy as your friend feels.  I vomited every day for six months, literally.  My hubs would wake up at night with me because he was afraid I was going to pass out from all the puking.  The relentless symptoms made it impossible to enjoy my pregnancy and I will NEVER miss being pregnant again.  It was a vile, awful experience for me.  For me, being pregnant was much worse than labor (and I went completely natural).

Please let her know that she should NOT feel like this is her fault or her fault for being an "older" mom - I know I felt like something was wrong with me for being so sick.  Some of us just get really sick and there is no explanation for it.

ateytelb

I was feeling a little uncomfortable too near the end of the preg. with my 2d one who was also born in the summer. With this one I am ok for now, but I am only 22 weeks at this point.

busybea

Tell your friend that she is not alone, I am 38 & pregnant with twins and have a 1yr old at home who doesn't walk yet, so I have to pick him up for everything.  I cannot sleep more than 2 hrs a night unless I take Unisom (approved by OB to take 3x a wk only) and I am beyond exhausted.  the twins seem to wake up and kick only at night, the day they sleep (of course) and I have no energy whatsoever.  I live in FL where the heat index is 110 degrees with like 100% humidity, so please tell her she is not alone.  Pregnancy is not always roses....

ScoobyM

I am 38 and this is my second pregnancy.  With my last one, everything was just wonderful, I don't even remember feeling bad about anything.  This time, I am totally miserable and cannot WAIT to have this baby.  I am cranky and impatient, I feel tired and unattractive, I cry at the drop of a hat, and it seems like everything that can go wrong in my life IS going wrong.  I'm also in Texas and the heat is unbearable.  I completely attribute it to being pregnant and having a demanding job and a 2 year old.  I had a demanding job before I got pregnant and my toddler was always a bundle of energy and I did not feel this way.  I really do believe that hormones and hot weather can completely change the way you react to the world and can play lots of tricks with your head.  Tell your friend she is not alone and it WILL go away.  Just hang in there...

Dochas

I am 40 and pg with my first.  I haven't gained a lot of weight, but the pressure on my hips is still brutal.  Bad sciatica as well.  And lying down doesn't relieve it.  I've been up in the middle of the night over the last two weeks and it's terrible.  It just feels really lonely.  So tell her she is not alone!!  My sisters hated being pg and it's been great for me to have people to talk to that don't pretend that everything is smooth sailing.