WWYD? Re: hair dye on 7yo SD
ScissorTailedFlycatcher
member
I doubt any of you remember, but when SD was 4, BM dyed streaks of pink into her hair. We've expressed greatly that we didn't like it at that age. Yada yada. She has since not dyed her hair like that again... until this week.
SD is now 7, almost 8. She has pink permanent streaks in her hair. I still don't like it, but whatever. I think it has a lot to do with us buzzing SS's hair for the summer without asking.
Anyway...
My bro is getting married in two weeks (the day after SD's birthday). We are also taking family photos in July sometime.
I.do.not.want.pink.streaks.in.her.hair!
So....
Do I let it go? Do I dye them back to brown? Do I postpone the photoshoot (definitely NOT the option I'd like to do)?
Deep breaths......
And yes, BM knew all of this was coming up.
Re: WWYD? Re: hair dye on 7yo SD
It's just hair..I would let it go. If SD is happy with it then w/e. BM is obviously goign to do whatever she feels like regardless of what you guys think
BM gave SS a mohawk when he was 7. We didnt make a big deal out of it and he outgrew it. DH HATED it. Someday you can blackmail them with those pics (hehe)
Here's my story. Same thing just Bm started this when SD was 2. (I wrote this for another site because I needed to blog where people would understand :P)
"Well I thought BM had grown up a bit. But again I was wrong. Me and Dh were planning on doing some nice family pics of us and Sd with my baby bump. However when Dh picked up Sd4 today she has bright pink, purple, and blue hair. She has not done this in a year, so I think the timing is pretty suspicious. I just want to smack her. Why would you dye your daughter's beautiful blonde hair abunch of punk colours?
Ohhh I can't wait to have this kid so I can have something major to focus on.
Does anyone know if baking soda can damage hair? I have heard its great for removing hair dye but I don't know if its good on hair or just counter tops."
So I know what you are going through. Maybe have the streaks braided and pinned into a bun? It could end up looking pretty instead of trashy if styled right. My Sd's hair is cut into a little bob and its impossible to hide without a hat...
Ps baking soda took out a bunch of the dye so now its a prettier light pink, blue and purple. However this might not work for you since your sd is soo much older and kinda has her own mind now. Ask her if she likes it, and if she does try to find a style that would work for both of you (?).
Because she's older now, I am fine with it if she wants it. I don't agree with it (SD has body issue concerns as is and I don't think she needs to think the pink makes her prettier).
I'm definitely more concerned with the pictures. She has a bob as well. And really short bangs. It looks fine, as in, well done, but not for pictures that I'd like to last forever, KWIM?
And to the PP that said we shouldn't dye it back to brown because we would be insulting BM, I couldn't care less.
Does your CO state anything about haircuts/piercings/personal appearance?
Ours actually does, which I was suprised about, but after a few posts on here can understand it.
Ours states that BM(we don't have full custody, just EOW, holidays, summer) get full say in haircuts, etc. We get the boys haircut, but get the same "style" that they've alway had. Which at 10 and 9, they are pretty vocal on what THEY want their style to be. Thankfully nothing crazy and they lookd good.
I would be upset by this...and I don't think you should be changing a child of that age hair from natural. But really don't know about having it dyed back t brown, only you know how BM would react, I would assume not very well.
Sorry about the family photos, I would not be happy!
It doesn't. Once we open negotiations on the CO, that will definitely be put in there (among other things).
One of the things that irritates me... SD had JUST (like, literally her last haircut) grown out the bleach streaks from when she dyed her hair 4 years ago. Ugh.
You said back to brown, so I think this could work better than if it was blonde hair. I have seen non-permanent marker type hair color. Maybe cover the streaks with them and it will easily be washed out?
I wouldn't dye her hair again. Only because this could start hair dying war between you and BM and that could really damage SD's hair.
It stinks for pictures but I would just accept it. If SD likes it than it's just shows another part of her personality in the pics. If SD doesn't like it the pics can serve as a reminder as she gets older of what NOT to do again.
I don't care if she does or doesn't like the pics. Lol. *I* want to like the pics. If it was temporary, whatever. But I'm not going to ask my photographer to photoshop it out either.
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Hmmm... I wonder what Bm would do if I bought the temp dye and dyed munchkins hair brown (like mine) for the baby belly pics?
Ohhh I would love it....
She did. SS asked me to cut his bangs. He then said that he wanted "Daddy's hair." I told him to call his mom because of the past. She said yes. She didn't like it, but she had a say.
Yes, my ex isn't allowed to get haircuts, etc either.
You sound like a psycho.
I meant depending on SD liking the hair not the pics. I assume at her age she's not terribly interested in the pics. Although she will get to show off her new baby sister with them....
Ohh those look awesome!
Temp dye works great. I have used it before.
Ok, I am now changing my answer. You said that she has a bob and you do not want that in your pictures forever. Sorry, this is a situation where you are the SM and do not get to decide. If DH completely on his own without your snide comments (and man I know I would have many b/c I never keep my mouth shut) wants to change it then he can but you cannot. The reason I changed my mind is b/c you have issue with more than the color, you do not like the style either and that was not done to spite you even if the color was.
And ditto this "Shorty I think if you wanted to have a say in SD's hair that you should have let BM have a say in her son's hair. My dad got my hair cut once when I was younger because he couldn't handle my long hair when I was with him. He never told my mom he was doing it & when I got home I had a boy cut & my mom was crying. i think BM should have talked to your DH about it but he should have done the same with thier son. but live & let live. no one is hurt & if sd likes it let her have fun with it. its not the school year & she is expressing herself."
I will add that if I was ever in the situation where DH and I split and his wife cut my kids hair or dyed it, I would draw blood. Of course I would NEVER permanently dye my little kids hair.
You sound like you have no sense of humour. And brown would be WAY better then pink, blue and purple.
Why would it be better?
Because of the "lifestyle" thats being pushed on this little girl. If she wanted her hair to be crazy and pink that would be one thing (even though I still don't agree with dying a four year olds hair). However my Sd is a very introverted, shy little girl. She does not seem to like the "difference" that is pushed on her.
Secondly, Dh and I are active members of our community and I am a youth worker with the Canadian Forces (Reserves) and it reflects on our parenting choices to be seen with a "punk" child. Would you feel completely comfortable trusting your kids with a stranger who dyes their own preschooler's hair?
Before ANYONE calls me out on hypocracy here, I want to say that our decision regarding SS's hair color is based on the reasons WHY he wants to color his hair, not the actual coloring itself. The fact that we have allowed him to have the extremely long shaggy, cant see out the front look even though it looks like carp should prove that.
As to THIS situation. Shorty, until you guys get custody, you should not do anything that is permanent. I do think that the very temporary dyes (something that washes out in less than 5 shampoos) is fine, as long as it is gone before she goes home.
And please be very careful before you dye (take her to a stylist). You do know know how ANY dye will react with what is already on the hair. You could make it worse.
Super awesome points for both stories!
I wanna point out, I'm not talking about "dying" my Sd's hair. I'm thinking about a coloured mousse that will cover the dye for the pictures. Or maybe some hair mascara or something. I just can't imagine hanging a family picture up on the wall when Munchkin's hair is four different colours and only one is natural KWIM?
Hmmm I guess I should have said that from the beginning eh? lol Big difference between mousse and temp hair colour.
The stuff in her hair now usually lasts about a month, with regular washes. It was obvious today that Munchkin's hair hadn't been washed in at least three days, it was really greasy and being that its sooo fine I have never seen it look that way unless it was the end of a week long camping trip.
I think there is a problem with a 7 year old having PERMANTLY died pink hair. Why not just get her clip ins? Or temporary? If my SD came over with pink hair, DH would certainly have it fixed right away and then put a stop to BM being ridiculous (keep in mind we have full custody). If nothing else, she should have asked your DH first. Buzzing a little boy's hair is an entirely different story (there's nothing that could be deemed inappropriate about that). Plus, Shorty clearly stated that when she buzzed SS hair, his mother was aware and approved of it.
I would put color fix on it, or dye it back. If she would like some clip ins or temporary pink hair then she can have it after the wedding.
Also, if you choose to do the temporary dye thing, do it the morning of the wedding. It washes out QUICK.
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It wouldn't bother me. A little pink hair dye on a little girl would be, to me, very cute. An SM dying her SD's hair so they look alike? I would think she was psycho. And I am serious.
I mentioned before that SD's hair looked like it had been done professionally... I was wrong. My thought was based on seeing SD's hair for about 5 minutes in dim lighting (BM dropped them off last night right before bedtime). Anyway, BM trimmed her bangs and it's, well, not pretty. Do I fix it? Do I let her look goofy? They are straight bangs and not even by any measure.
I also mentioned that we might dye it back before the wedding (whether it be a permanent fix or temporary) and she was totally fine with it. I told her that if she wanted the pink again afterward, we could discuss it. She replied with, "Sure, whatever."
I don't think SD really cares what her hair looks like. She's 7. She likes her hair however we all like it.
That said, I would NOT but temp dye on it. Reason being it will most likely turn orange, and not a pretty orange. Soooooo, if you would like it to fade in the meantime, buy Pret or Prell shampoo, and use it to wash her hair. It strips color super fast. Hair spray is also NOT color friendly, unless it specifically for color treated hair. If it can remove nail polish (which it can) it can remove hair dye as well.
The person who asked about baking soda. Baking soda is great for hair. I use it all the time. It strips impurities. I doubt it would strip color too much, just fade it.
It's pretty dark. It was definitely bleached first. I'll try to post a pic.
And no, it was not professionally done.