sorry to be a pest...but my LO hates when I step away

just_peachy

I have him in the PNP with his toys and I step away to go to the bathroom or make his dinner and he cries.

I feel like such a failure of a mom these days for this reason and many others....

What am I doing wrong that he can't just sit and be happy with some toys independently, or go to the mall (read previous post) and be happy amongst the crowd.

I fail miserably at knowing what to do right now.  He's going to go to sleep soon but I want him to enjoy the time he has with me when he is awake and I feel like I just don't do that for him.

uofibabe

hey I feel for you....i work all day m-f and when I finally get to see DS it's time to eat solids, bottle, bath ( on bath night), and then book and bed.  Not much time to actually spend fun time with him. 

And I know what you mean about going out....it's a major hassle to go out by myself especially the mall!!! I feel like I HAVE to have someone with me just for "back up"!! 

Abinormal

My suggestion to you is to keep moving forward. Try to take him out somewhere everyday for at least 30 minutes to an hour. Start small (maybe a small park or the library, where there is minimal noise) and move onto bigger and more crowded places. Babies need to get used to being socialized and if they've been kept at home with just one person, they won't know how to respond in a public setting and they will get overwhelmed.

Also, when you hang out with friends/family allow them to talk to and hold your DS, but stay within his site. Tegan has been passed around since birth and because of this she seems to be very well socialized and doesn't mind going to anyone, as long as she can see me or DH.

With the walking away thing, I think it's a stage that the babies go through. In the last couple of weeks Tegan has been getting upset if she is left alone in a room, or is in a place where she cannot see either DH or me. However, I still leave her in the living room for a moment while I run to the bathroom or go to another room to get something. She doesn't like it, but I want her to learn that just because she might not see me for a moment doesn't mean that I am gone for good. A lot of the time I will talk to her from the other room or from the bathroom (we live in a small house) and that seems to help a bit.

angie05161

My DS is going through the same separation anxiety now too and we socialize plenty.  I think it's just a phase all kids have to go through.  I just try not to prolong it, for example, when I leave him at daycare.  I wear him at home so that I can still get things done without him crying too much.  Otherwise I will just leave his sight for short periods of time so he doesn't get too upset.  HTH

meghann0409

Remember, too, that these lil buggers are getting smart enough to know that when they cry, Mommy appears - try talking to him from another room and staying away for a bit longer each time, but always going back to check. Soothe and avoid picking up if you can - just calm with pats and your voice, and hand him a new toy, then leave the room again. It's almost like CIO for naps, except I don't get DS scream unless I have to...