Introducing myself

talullahs

Hello ladies,

I'm new here, this is my first post and I've been lurking for a few days but needed to jump in now because I am so disappointed about the spotting that started yesterday.  I'm in a bit of denial about it, but am going to stay positive.  It's been a comfort to get to read about everyone's journey here.  I'm 38 and ttc #1.  I never wanted kids until fairly recently, and after being a huge chicken, DH and I just started trying a few months ago.

 What is hysterical to me now, is how uninformed we were about how difficult it can be to get pregnant!  We were so chicken the first month (April) that we only did tbd once during the time I thought I was ovulating because we were sure that that was all it took, and we were tiptoeing into it because we were so nervous.  Then, I was really surprised when I wasn't pregnant!

Then in May, I was traveling so much with my job, that we really weren't even in the same place at the same time,so I don't even think we did tbd while I was O'ing (it turns out, I think I'd been off about when O-time was happening anyway).  But I thought we had hit around the right time, so I was super disappointed when I didn't get pregnant!!

So,for June, we decided that we were just going to jump right in!  I got an opk and we did tbd every other day or every day (except for a 2.5 day period when we were apart because of work - hmmm...I wonder if that was the .5 day that cost us!).

I was so sure that that was going to work...and then yesterday: spotting.  I'm soooo disappointed.  I now realize that I may be at the beginning of a journey.  It is so shocking to me, because I always felt fairly knowledgeable about my body, but it wasn't until I started reading up about all of this in the past month that I realized that I had no idea about how ovulation worked and how important the timing of everything is.  I guess I still had the mindset of what they told us when we were 16: that if you even let a boy look at you, you'd wind up with twins:)

So, I want to thank you guys for sharing your stories. 

kikibird

Hi Talullah, welcome!  I can totally relate to your story.  We just started TTC in April too, and while we DTD like crazy during our honeymoon, we were a little nervous that it would actually work.  It didn't, and while I was disappointed, I was also kind of relieved (we both were).  Wouldn't mind spending a little bit of married time just us (even though we've been together 8 years)!

With cycle #2 though, I was super shocked to not get a BFP... my temps looked picture perfect (but, admittedly, just like other cycles when we weren't trying).  Lo and behold, the day AF was supposed to arrive, she did.  I'd tested the day before, and felt silly for wasting a test.  It hit me harder than I'd expected.  I'm figuring, yes, I so want to get pregnant, but shouldn't feel too bad if it doesn't work the first few times.  Yeah, well, BFNs hurt no matter what cycle it is.   

Are you charting your temps?  I have been charting for almost a year now, and find it enormously helpful to understanding what my body's doing.  I also just bought a CBEFM (Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor) off of eBay so I'm ready should I need it for next cycle (but keeping fingers crossed I won't).   

And then of course there's the awesome tome, Taking Charge of Your Fertility... kind of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Fertility Galaxy, if you will. An absolute must read.

Don't panic, and welcome to the board! 

PS. I'm 39, and DH is 31.

MAH123

kikijbird:

 

And then of course there's the awesome tome, Taking Charge of Your Fertility... kind of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Fertility Galaxy, if you will. An absolute must read.

This is a great place to start! Welcome to the board, you'll find a lot of knowledge and support here.

curlyhairedboys

HI!  Welcome!

Isn't it amazing what we thought we knew?  I'm going for #3 and after reading TCOYF and charting for the first time, it's a wonder I got pg the first 2 times!  (FYI, I'm 37..had #1 at 33 and #2 at 36)

Good luck with everything!!

CharBart

I know exactly how you feel...I was 38 when we started TTC and I also thought I would get KU in at least 6 months...boy was I wrong!  Here I am almost 2 years later and waiting to do an DE IVF.

Don't let me scare you though...plenty of women get KU around here with no medical intervention!

GL and welcome!!!

OscarQ

kikijbird:

Taking Charge of Your Fertility... kind of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Fertility Galaxy, if you will. An absolute must read.

Bwah ha ha!  That's awesome.  And totally true.  Great place to start. 

pnltybox

Hello and welcome......this is a great board!

I can relate to your story too!  Although I had always figured I'd have issues getting pregnant (major O issues), I never knew I'd have to be THAT in tune with my body!  I'm on my fourth round of IUI, a procedure I didn't even know existed until I started reading these boards!

Best of luck to you!  At our age, I would recommend seeing a dr. if you don't get a BFP after 6 months of TTC........I really wish I had started this process sooner knowing what I know now!

talullahs

Hi there kikijbird,

Thanks for the kind words.  I actually bought a CBEFM and am going to start tomorrow.  I figure I may as well jump right in with it!!  

 I haven't been charting my temps.  Mainly because I've never been able to read a thermometer.  That is an embarrassing fact that I've never told anyone!  I am hoping the CBEFM will preclude the need for temperature charting.

And "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" will be the next thing I pick up at Barnes & Noble.

I have just gotten a crazy case of baby fever.  Every time I see a little one, I am mesmerized - I feel like I'm on a bad sitcom where all the main character talks about is BABIES.  This is really so unlike me, but I find it a nice change at the same time.

Thanks again.

talullahs

And thank you to all of you for taking the time to reply with such kindness and humor.  It really is a relief to find people going through the same journey.  I live in NYC, and my girlfriends who are my age have either decided to not have children or are still looking for Mr. Right.  I have a few girlfriends who are younger than I am who pretty much got pregnant the second they went off of the pill, so they can't relate to what I'm feeling right now either. 

I'm a pretty private person in general, so that makes it even harder to reach out and talk about this.  Not to mention the fact that should I get pregnant, I don't want to tell anyone until I am safely at the 3 month mark (I just had an acquaintance lose a pregnancy at 4 months and I am heartbroken for her - both for her actual loss, and also because they told EVERYONE the minute she got pregnant, so they are dealing with well-wishers asking about her pregnancy who don't know about the loss).

So again.  Thanks!!

rach2100

Sorry for the late response....but I wanted to say HI and welcome!  GL to you!