Does no presents REALLY mean no presents?

City Girl

DS was invited to a first bday party next weekend where the invite says "no presents". The mom has also mentioned this via email.

I am afraid that we will walk in and have no gift and I will feel like a giant a$$. Should I bring something small just in case? And how small is too small?

Thanks!

City Girl

Meaning if other people ignore the invite and bring gifts..I will feel stupid.

peachypear

It means no presents. And if someone shows up with a gift, they are the idiot who couldn't follow the hosts' requests, not you.

kittylove

I have this issue too. I always bring a gift, if they would rather donate it to a cause than give it to DC that is fine with me, but I refuse to go empty handed. And I am never the only one to bring a gift.

punkfiction_v.3

i always bring a gift - no matter what. even if its something small.

SparkFish

The first birthday party DD was invited to was a "no presents" party and We did not bring a gift. Sure enough, everyone brought presents anyway, and I did feel kind of bad about it. In the future, I'll probably bring a gift anyway - maybe a book or a puzzle - just in case. 

naturelle25

If you are concerned, I would just get like a $25 gift card you can quickly throw in a card if need be. If you dont use it, no biggie, use it on yourself later!

NDwife07

I'd bring a hostess gift instead, like flowers for the party or a house plant.

2BWEDN2007

It does mean no presents and you know what? I put this on DS's first birthday invite and EVERYONE (except my own father) showed up with a gift. My IL's called to RSVP and straight out said they were coming with a gift regardless. I think most people feel the same way you do and don't want to look like an idiot so they bring one anyway.

Our reasoning was that our son has every toy known to mankind. Our house is overrun with toys to the point that 3/4 of our LR is now a designated "play room" because of all the toys. To be perfectly honest with you, I sent out nice thank you notes and donated them all to Toys for Tots. Flame me if you must, but I specifically said no gifts and people brought them anyway. I had no place to put them!

You might also consider asking the hostess if there is anything her LO really needs because DS could have used some clothes at that point, but I would never put "no toys, clothes only please" on the invite so I just put no gifts.

susanmosley

I don't play the I-said-this-but-mean-this game.  If they say no presents, I am not taking a present.  The fact that people think no presents really means bring a present drives me insane.  I wish people would just not dictate to others what to do, but that doesn't happen.

janjag

what about a bottle of wine for the parents, or something along those lines? 

i also have a hard time not bringing something... but maybe the kid doesn't need a thing.  the parents however, might need a glass of wine after the party   that way, you're thoughtful, but not ignoring her request.

janjag

NDwife07:

I'd bring a hostess gift instead, like flowers for the party or a house plant.

guess that's what i'm going for... but i went straight to the wine!

mason15

Bring a card.  It said no gifts.  I will never understand why people can't follow that.  I would love to do some sort of humane society drive or something when DS gets older, but I know people will either whine b/c I'm telling them what to bring or they'll bring DS a gift anyway.

armywife7205

We said this on DD's invite I will be interested to see what people do. It said: Your gift is presence enough. In lieu of gifts, donations can be made in Abigail's name at the St. Louis Zoo. People have already asked me how to do so.. I am hoping they get tons!

RevJG

I bring something for the parents, either a bottle of champagne or a potted orchid.  We said no gifts (and mean it) for DD's party and asked if people wanted to bring something that they would consider bringing an unwrapped book to be donated to a local shelter network. Win-win.

SwissPrincessBride

Find out a cause that the host parents are passionate about and make a donation to that in the name of the birthday child. Then just bring a nice card. Ta-da! Winner winner chicken dinner.

Anika11

Yeah, it means no presents.  If you can't walk in empty handed, bring a baked good, a bottle of wine/champagne for the parents, something of that nature.  No presents! : )

lismog

I've never been invited to a "no gift" party but maybe you can get a toys r us gift card for a small amount and a card, but don't seal the envelope until you get there and see if anyone else brought gifts. If so, slip the gift card into the card and instant gift...if in fact no one brings anything, you can always save and use the gift card for your own LO.

mrsransom

I have never been invited to a "no gift" party, but I requested no gifts for my college graduation party.  I had a joint party with my brother who was graduating high school, & I wanted the attention to be on him...well of course almost every single person gave me a card & money. 

 I know it feels weird to come empty handed, but why would a person put no gifts if they secretly wanted gifts to be brought?  To me, the fact that she also specified it in email too seals the deal...I would not bring a gift.  I guarantee you that you would not look like a loser...she would actually respect you for respecting her wishes!

 I agree with the others that if you really feel that you need to bring something, bring a bottle of wine or a dish.

missfire

2BWEDN2007:

Our reasoning was that our son has every toy known to mankind. Our house is overrun with toys to the point that 3/4 of our LR is now a designated "play room" because of all the toys. To be perfectly honest with you, I sent out nice thank you notes and donated them all to Toys for Tots. Flame me if you must, but I specifically said no gifts and people brought them anyway. I had no place to put them!

2BWED, I doubt you'll be back to read this, but just in case -- that was an awesome thing to do! Who could flame you for giving toys to less fortunate kids?

krys2729

i always do a little something, even when it says no gifts.  how about a card and a $10 gift card to a local ice cream place?

MrsSalsaburger

I made a donation to St. Jude's in the child's name when the invite stated "no gifts.". The parents were thrilled and touched.