Losing patience with LO

Abinormal

DH has been working some extra shifts recently and so I've been on my own with Tegan 24/7 for several days in a row. I'm a teacher and so the whole SAHM thing is a bit different for me, since I haven't been at home with her since she was 8 weeks old. Now that it's summer, I'm with her all the time and as much as I love it, I find myself getting frustrated more often than I like.

I love my daughter with all my heart and I'd NEVER do anything to hurt her, but sometimes I just have to take a deep breath and walk away for a second or two. Tegan's a pretty easy going baby, but for the last two days she's been fighting going down for her naps. Today she was fussing and crying and I knew that she was exhausted and so I was holding her and trying to get her to sleep. She kept fighting me and eventually I lost my patience and kind of roughly laid her down in the crib. She immediately started screaming (I'd frightened her) and I felt awful, picked her up and calmed her down. She then passed out within about a minute.

I know I didn't hurt her and that she's already forgotten about the situation, but I feel/felt so horrible! Ugh! This mothering thing is hard!

finally2006

This mothering thing is hard!

That is the truth.  I was loosing patience yesterday because I was also really tired.  Taking a few minutes to gather yourself is fine. You are still an awesome mama and we have ALL been there.

Hang in there and plan something for yourself in a next few days when DH/family can watch her.

slmcronelaw

awww, HUGS to you Abi!  Don't beat yourself up, I think we all have days like this. ( I know I do, mostly on the weekends when we spend the whole day together)

mistywhite400

We wouldn't be human if we didn't get frustrated sometimes.  You know when you've had enough & need to take a breather....she won't be scared for life if she is in her crib for a bit while crying while you take a step back. 

Maybe you can do a mommy's day out or something, where you take her to a DC center for a few hours while you have some alone time! 

SamsMom91

Abi--it's good that you feel bad because it's your instincts telling you when you've pushed it too far for your comfort zone.  That being said, don't dwell on it.  It happens to the best of us.  Babies are frustrating and toddlers make you want to scream.  Any little being who relies on you 100% and knows no reason will be incredibly difficult with which to work.  I've been doing this SAHM thing for 2 years now and I get to the point you were at at LEAST 2-3 times per week (still).  Do I feel like I could be a better mother?  Yes.  Am I harder on myself than I should be?  Absolutely.  

Hang in there.  What you're describing is completely normal.  Just remember--it's easy for us to judge them by adult standards and want them to reason with us, but they don't know what we know.  Take a breather and relax while she's taking her nap.  She'll be smiley and happy for you when she wakes up because you made her take that nap!

mrsmyers8

You are not alone.  Its not an easy job, and no one told me it would be this much work.  Not to mention not a lot of sleep....  You are doing the best you can and make sure you take a time out if you need to.  Walk away and let them cry in the crib for a few minutes will not be the end of the world.  Hang in there...

slmcronelaw

SamsMom91:

Abi--it's good that you feel bad because it's your instincts telling you when you've pushed it too far for your comfort zone.  That being said, don't dwell on it.  It happens to the best of us.  Babies are frustrating and toddlers make you want to scream.  Any little being who relies on you 100% and knows no reason will be incredibly difficult with which to work.  I've been doing this SAHM thing for 2 years now and I get to the point you were at at LEAST 2-3 times per week (still).  Do I feel like I could be a better mother?  Yes.  Am I harder on myself than I should be?  Absolutely.  

Hang in there.  What you're describing is completely normal.  Just remember--it's easy for us to judge them by adult standards and want them to reason with us, but they don't know what we know.  Take a breather and relax while she's taking her nap.  She'll be smiley and happy for you when she wakes up because you made her take that nap!

I always love reading your responses Samsmom.  You always seem so level headed and direct and I always appreciate what you have to say. 

Harms80

I have a neighbor who lost patience with her baby when she was about 5 or 6 mos old.  Her LO was super fussy, her DH was gone on a business trip for a week, and she'd had enough.  On the changing table one day, she yelled "You are ruining my life" and her baby girl started crying.  She felt horrible, picked her up, and said she just needed to have a moment of insanity to put it all in perspective. 

I think more women have these moments than we think.  It's normal and healthy and sometimes is what you need to bring your head back around.  I know I've been there.  You're a good mommy!

sophiet496

I totally know how you feel.  I'm off from teaching for the summer, as well.  And I'm NERVOUS to be with L 24-7 again.  I actually enjoyed being back on a work schedule, even though I love L to pieces.  Being with a baby all the time is harder than I ever imagined.  My LO is doing the nap-fighting thing lately, too, and it drives me nutty, as well!  Yesterday he was inconsolable for like 45 minutes, and finally fell asleep in his jumperoo of all places!  That was a first.  I was definitely ready to lose my cool and needing lots of deep breaths.  I think most of us have our moments...You are a great mama and so not alone!

vmm0016

Yes, next time just take a break.  Sometimes, I go check my mail and come back..it clears my head and I am ready for more. 

qtjess1110

Been there def. MOTHERING Is HARD.....you are doing a great job. probably just tired.

nat8

slmcronelaw:

awww, HUGS to you Abi!  Don't beat yourself up, I think we all have days like this. ( I know I do, mostly on the weekends when we spend the whole day together)

Not think but I know we have all has days like this.

jennyandty

I totally have felt this way.  It seems like lately DS is always fussy.  It sounds funny but deep breathing has seriously helped me a lot lately.   

cherrykat

I work from home so totally know how you feel, especially when I have important things to get done and DD is being extra fussy. 

Sometimes you just have to put your LO in the playpen or crib and let them work themselves out for a few minutes and you catch your breath too.  Time outs for both mommy and baby.   

When I feel myself lose it, I say "I love you, baby... be good to Mommy please", then give her a kiss.  It actually calms me down and reminds me how much I really do love my little rambunctious monkey! 

Tinkx123x

This happens to me all the time! I have been a SAHM except for 2 months and when LO is freaking out like that  I set him in his crib and leave the room. He ALWAYS calms right down. Also try getting out of the house when DH comes home, it helps me!

lcmeg

I've totally been there. Especially when DD is fighting sleep- its so frustrating and hard. Being a mom is the hardest job in the world and sometimes we just boil over.

Its especially hard when you are getting NO breaks, which it sounds you are not. I work from home part time, so I am with DD all the time. But I have a sitter come in two days a week, and I really enjoy the time she is here, so I can have a break from the routine with LO. And on the weekend, I make DH do a lot with her, so I can regroup for the week. There is nothing wrong with taking time for yourself and admitting that sometimes our beautiful, wonderful children drive us nuts.

SamsMom91

slmcronelaw:

SamsMom91:

Abi--it's good that you feel bad because it's your instincts telling you when you've pushed it too far for your comfort zone.  That being said, don't dwell on it.  It happens to the best of us.  Babies are frustrating and toddlers make you want to scream.  Any little being who relies on you 100% and knows no reason will be incredibly difficult with which to work.  I've been doing this SAHM thing for 2 years now and I get to the point you were at at LEAST 2-3 times per week (still).  Do I feel like I could be a better mother?  Yes.  Am I harder on myself than I should be?  Absolutely.  

Hang in there.  What you're describing is completely normal.  Just remember--it's easy for us to judge them by adult standards and want them to reason with us, but they don't know what we know.  Take a breather and relax while she's taking her nap.  She'll be smiley and happy for you when she wakes up because you made her take that nap!

I always love reading your responses Samsmom.  You always seem so level headed and direct and I always appreciate what you have to say. 

AWWWW! Thanks so much! That was sweet of you to say.

games2010

I wanted to pass Annie off to someone else so badly today.  On Monday I go back to work part-time, so I've been feeling terrible that I'm happy to be getting away from her for a little while.  I love her more than anything in the world and I'm sure you feel the same way, but we have to have our own lives, interests and QUIET TIME.  No one can handle 24/7with a crying, tired, miserable baby.  It is natural to feel that way, it would be weird if you didn't.

SarahPirate

I have just started being a SAHM and it is crazy tough. Thankfully my mom lives down the street from us and there was already a day that I called her and asked her to come over and hang out a few hours so I could catch my breath. It helped a lot. You're fine. The important part is to just walk away when you're getting frustrated and calm down.

jenny1980

Been there. There's something about nap fighting that's crazy making, isn't there? And then you feel so ridiculous getting ticked off at a baby.

Good for you for gut-checking yourself and taking a breather.