Interesting conversation with a single friend

sail123

My friend is smart, funny, beautiful, 31 and single. She really, really wants to get married and have kids and has had bad luck with guys.

She was telling me yesterday that the cringes everytime she hears of a new engagement. She blocks people on facebook who talk about their wedding planning in their status. She also wants to slap all her married friends who give her "helpful advice".

Sound familiar? Obviously it is completely different but her reactions to marriage are very similar to the way I react to pregnancy (I cringe when I hear of a new pregnancy, I block people on facebook who constantly update about their pregnancies, I can't stand getting "helpful advice" from my pregnant friends).

There isn't much of a point to this post other than to point out that I thought it was interesting. I'm also going to be a lot more sensitive about these things when talking with my single friends.

MegannJay

I never really thought about that.  I'm going to try to be more sensitive about it too.  I remember when I was single and getting so upset when people would say "why are you still single??".  They'd say it as a compliment but it just made me feel like something was wrong with me.  Now that I'm married, I forget how hard it is to find a good guy and how hard it is to really want to be in a relationship but not be able to find the right person:(  

 

 

mlmbwr

I had a similar conversation with a single friend recently, she has been dating the same guy for 6 years and still no ring.  She listens to my never ending talk about getting pregnant and I listen to her frustration about not being engaged. 

Thankfully we are there to support each other.  Ironically my marriage is one that doesn't bother her since she went to college with DH and I and knew both of us before we were "us". 

PocketofSunshine09

Very interesting, your right there are so many people that are in different walks of life that you would never think something that is going on with you could effect how they are feeling about their own "problems". 

 

deariex2

I actually was thinking about this recently as well. One of my best friends is 31 and single and feels the same way. I haven't had an in depth conversation with her about it, but I was thinking to myself that there are similarities...I'm sure every time someone new gets married and she hears the words "it's your turn next..." she tenses just like most of us do when we hear those words about having a baby.

Jill070707

Hm, that is a very good thing to remember.  I guess it's like that quote about being kind to everyone because we're all fighting battles (paraphrased). 

krayola99

Yup, I've had this analogy in my head for some time now.  I had to wait a bit for DH to propose (not tooo long, but it felt like forever!).  There was a time when I burst into tears when I heard that someone else was engaged.  However, the bursting into tears thing has been 10x worse with TTC, because it's not something that either I or DH can control, and it's with everything - hearing about new pregnancies, old pregnancies, seeing pregnant women everywhere...  In the grand scheme of things, shouldn't my longer wait for engagement mean a relatively shorter TTC wait?  It's only fair!!

truebri

My BFF pointed out this similarity last year.  I told her a mutual friend was getting married, which I wasn't surprised about because said mutual friend was dating the guys for 4 years.  (BFF is not dating anyone.)  She got really quiet.  I asked what was wrong, and she paused for a moment and then said, "You know how you feel when you hear another one of our friends is pregnant?  This is my version of that." 

I've tried to be more sensitive to it since then.