Am I waiting too long?

B&C03

I am 39 and my first DS is 7 months old. I was looking for FT work before getting pregnant but could not find anything. I have been looking again since February and still can't find work. Problem is DH and I want to have another child b/c of my age. I first said we will try in June, then July and now it looks like August. I swear August is the final date. Is waiting until August to start trying again wrong. I was hoping to land a job, settle in then try. Am I playing with fire by putting if off until August?

Dr.Loretta

We don't know. What do you mean by playing with fire? Are you worried you won't be able to get pregnant? Did you have difficulty with your DS?

Only you can decide when you're ready to have another child. If finding another job is very important to you, perhaps that needs to happen first. But If you find a job and get pregnant right away, you likely won't be eligible for FMLA, so keep that in mind.

Pesky

I agree with dr.loretta -- you are the one to decide when it is time (keeping FMLA in mind).  But also keep in mind that a month or two is unlikely to have some dramatic impact on your fertility.  It's not like you are super fertile now but you wait until your are 40 and your fertility and overall egg health falls off a cliff.  With that said, yep there could be 2ndary IF, that happens regardless of age.  You never know.  You need to be willing to deal with getting pg on the first shot as well as it taking time and perhaps intervention.

stever

Pesky:

I agree with dr.loretta -- you are the one to decide when it is time (keeping FMLA in mind).  But also keep in mind that a month or two is unlikely to have some dramatic impact on your fertility.  It's not like you are super fertile now but you wait until your are 40 and your fertility and overall egg health falls off a cliff.  With that said, yep there could be 2ndary IF, that happens regardless of age.  You never know.  You need to be willing to deal with getting pg on the first shot as well as it taking time and perhaps intervention.

All of this. You'll either have secondary IF or not, waiting a few months shouldn't matter.

Good luck!

B&C03

I never had to have intervention with my first. The first time we tried ( I was 38 it happened). FMLA - many companies offer short term disability ( 6 weeks for natural birth & 8 for c-section). Besides, my husband gets 8 weeks paid parental leave. He did this for our first son. I work in HR so I know these things.

 

B&C03

Oh and the 40 thing with the sudden drop in eggs is a little exaggerated. My gyno said, having a baby at 39 and having a baby at 40 is basically the same thing. Having a baby at 34 and having a baby at 40 are very different.

carladillon

What do you mean by "playing with fire"? If you are not concerned about leave or fertility?

robynlesley

Here's my question... do you NEED to work or is your DH's salary enough to support your family until you do find a job?

Beyond that, I don't think there is anything wrong with waiting until your DS is a bit older.  While many do plan for "2 under 2", I believe most doctors recommend spacing out your children.  I understand that at 39, you probably don't want to wait 18 months but I think a year is not too much. Even if you're 40 when you conceive, it's not much different than 39.

I don't think you need to put a cut off date on things.  If you need a job, keep looking. If you get pregnant, that's great. Just save up the money for maternity leave, since it may end up being unpaid.

B&C03

I guess we will start trying in August since I may not get so lucky (for my age) to conceive the first time like I did with my first) or maybe I will. I do not want Robert to be an only child and the more he grows the more I want another. I originally picked August because I wanted to "enjoy" Robert before getting into all that "pregnancy stuff" again. I will also continue looking for work. Whatever happens first happens.  Is this a good way of going about it?