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Success after IF
help, I need BF support!
Long-- support & advice welcome, no flames please
Here are my issues. I'm just not sure what to do and I don't want to give up BF but I definitely needs some support. My LC is so hard to get a hold of and it a little over the edge for my style. TIA!
#1- I have flat nipples and have to wear a nipple shield
#2- LO doesn't have a great latch (BF is often painful)
#3- My milk took about 5 days to come in and my supply is so low ( when I pump for 30 min I get about 1/2 oz total mostly from left side, hardly any milk comes out of right side)
#4- Due to weight loss I had to start supplementing formula, now LO is either getting nipple confusion or simply is not patient enough to nurse so each time I try it's a 15 min or more screaming battle from her until she will usually finally latch on
#5- When LO does latch on she falls asleep right away. I've done naked, cold wash clothes etc. She sucks maybe 3-4 times and falls asleep so even when latched I'm afraid she isn't getting enough BM.
So, am I doomed, do I just keep doing what I can with BF, do I throw in the towel in order to create a more pleasing feeding time for LO? I hate seeing her stressed out and hungry! Anything I can do to make it better so I can keep BF (will still have to supplement for now)?
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Re: help, I need BF support!
First off, your milk taking five days to come in is normal. And for how old your baby is, the amount you are pumping is also normal. It builds up over time. Just keep doing it. When are you pumping? To help boost my supply, I would pump after each feeding. The best time to pump for me as also first thing in the morning after her first nursing session. There are little things you can do in terms of adjusting the speed/pull on the pump that can sometimes help. Sometimes less strong results in better flow. Also try breast compression to force more of the milk out. I squeeze the *** out of my boobs when pumping. Also helps get more of the hind milk flowing. My LO said that it's sometimes better to just pump for 15 minutes. But in the meantime, you can try things like eating your oatmeal regularly, mother's milk tea, I've also heard fenugreek and blessed thistle.
You are not doomed. It's hard in the early days, and while I doubt your LO is getting nipple confusion, maybe she's just getting frustrated. I would try to calm my LO down before trying because if she was freaking out, nothing went well. My LC also suggested some things such as after rousing her while feeding, pressing on the breast to give her a "surge", a kind of positive reinforcement.
I would say to keep doing what you're doing. The more you bring her to the breast to nurse, the more she will get the hang of it. The beginning is always the worst, I think, and so things can only get better. Plus, some breastfeeding and breastmilk is better than none at all. And the more she nurses, the more milk you will make.
Maybe you could give her a bottle first and then when she is more calm try nursing?
Is there another LC around that you could use?
It also took my milk 5 days to come in. My boys were given formula from bottles in the hospital and weren't latching at all. I kept pumping, and got them to latch with the help of a LC, and now they both nurse (one better than the other, though). My milk supply also increased from drops to gushes. So I think you are on the right track. I know it is frustrating, but if you have the energy to keep doing what you are doing, then I think you should.
That said, if you throw in the towel and just use formula, you will not be a bad mommy. Enjoying your baby and your time with her is far more important.
Good luck!
it's super hard, but keep doing what you are doing.
I had to do an SNS to stimulate my production. had LC coming every other day due to weight loss. get a different one. I had one in hospital that i hated,she was also over the top. you need someone patient.
Got a new LC when I came home from the hospital. She said my baby was one of the sleepiest she ever saw. it gets better, it is such a learning process for mom and baby. it isn't natural, it is a learning process.
my advice:
https://grapemama.blogspot.com/2009/11/breastfeeding-issues.html
I was told to pump after feedign the baby and sometimes I got 5ml or 10ml, yup that little.
i had low supply.
if you pump, you never pump as much as the baby gets...
it takes 12wks for the milk to establish, but by 6wks you should both get the hang of it. it's hard mama, but you are doing everything right.
I think most women need help with BFind and need a LC.
I'm so sorry things are off to such a rough start...you're doing great, really! I could have written this exact post when Elizabeth was one week and here I am at 13 months trying to wean. If you think you want to continue, you don't have to be doomed.
#1-2: Don't even worry about the shield right now. If it helps, keep using it. I had flat nipples and E had a tiny mouth. I used the shield for 4-5 months before she could latch without it.
#3-4-5: in my experience, these were all related. It's a vicious cycle. The baby's not nursing well due to latch and because of being sleepy, so the breasts aren't getting the message to make enough milk. My LC had me pump for 10 minutes after each feeding for the first 2 weeks and supplement each feeding with 1/2 oz. The supplementing helped jump start her weight gain and then I was able to drop it. And with every day, she was able to stay awake longer.
The first weeks are soooo hard and I don't think I was prepared. Can you find another LC? The only thing that saved me from throwing in the towel was my hospital's LC BFing weekly support group.
ditto qtpa2t...
and
#1- I have flat nipples and have to wear a nipple shield-I can't help in this area but know there were a few nesties on here with same issue and were successfully able to bf
#2- LO doesn't have a great latch (BF is often painful). This is also normal until you both get a hang of bfding. It was painful for me too but definitely got better with time. Try using lasinoh cream (sp). Go topless as much as possible..fresh air did wonders for me.
#3- My milk took about 5 days to come in and my supply is so low ( when I pump for 30 min I get about 1/2 oz total mostly from left side, hardly any milk comes out of right side)-This is normal too. Mine didn't come in until 5-6 days and LO was fine. It was hard not to worry because I could never tell how much she was getting but at every pedi appt. she did fine and that was my only gauge for a long time. The amount you are pumping is normal for this time. You and baby are just starting out. It will take some time. Hopefully you will have a good supply soon enough. For me, I never had good supply. It seems I just made enough for baby. Could never get much pumping. When I went back to work, I did pump. At work I would get a total of max 12 ounces..yep..thats it! That is why I had to supplement with formula when I went back to work. While on maternity leave, I just bf.
#4- Due to weight loss I had to start supplementing formula, now LO is either getting nipple confusion or simply is not patient enough to nurse so each time I try it's a 15 min or more screaming battle from her until she will usually finally latch on-Not sure if you are dealing with nipple confusion just yet. I had to supplement when I went back to work. It was what I had to do because I never made enough milk to stash but I was fine with supplementing. You have to do what is best for both of you.
#5- When LO does latch on she falls asleep right away. I've done naked, cold wash clothes etc. She sucks maybe 3-4 times and falls asleep so even when latched I'm afraid she isn't getting enough BM. -I had a very sleepy baby too. I think most babies are. I think they get sooooo comfortable when at the breast its just natural for them to get sleepy. I would run my fingers through her hair, touch her feet. In the end, I just decided I would let her stay at the boob as long as it took. That was my life for about six weeks. I lived in my rob, in my rocking chair with baby attached to boob always. It was fine with me but not for everyone.
You are not doomed. It is still very early to even think you are doomed. This will take time and a lot of dedication. It was one of the toughest job ever but one of the most amazingly wonderful experience. I gave myself mini goals, 3wks, 6wks, etc and just took it day by day. Here we are 16months later and I am having the hardest time thinking of completely weaning. I know longer pump but nurse am/pm.
Try visiting kellymom.com for bfding help. Page me if you like too!!!
You are doing a great job already!! Good luck!!
I could have written this post when henry was a baby except for #4, I didn't have to suppliment. 1) After a week or two, I found I didn't need the nipple shields, so hopefully this is a temporary need for you as well. 2) It tool us a while (many weeks) to develop a good latch, patience and persistence are the keys here. It will come. If it doesn't, see a LC (phone calls aren't enough). 3) totally normal amount of time for milk to come in and those amounts pumped seem normal too. 4) nipple confusion is really rare, she's just not used to nursing yet, it takes time. You are BOTH learning this. 5) H feel asleep a lot too. I had to squeeze his hands (not gently, btw) and I tickled/rubbed under the side of his chin to encourage swallowing.
You are not doomed! Here are some other things I did to help. I took fenugreek 3 pills/3 times a day. Drink a lot, but alternate your intake (milk, water, then juice). A friend told me that your body absorbs them differently. I hadn't heard that before, but it helped. Make sure you are eating enough calories. It is hard to find the time, or at least it was for me, so I got the calories wherever I could, even if it was from candy, ice cream, etc.
For a while, I had to pump after each BFing session for 10 minutes. It is exhausting, but doable. Even if you aren't getting milk, the pumping action triggers your brain to produce milk.
Good luck! If you want more advice, I found the breastfeeding board to be helpful.
ETA: If your nipples are sore/cracked, I found lanolin (lanishol sp?) helped. You can find nipple cream/ointments in many BF sections of stores (assuming you haven't already tried this)
Don't give up. Believe it or not, what you're going through it totally normal. Very few people just start BFing w/o any issues and w/o the need for assistance. This is just a really overwhelming time right now. I had to use the shields for several weeks. We were able to ditch them around 8 wks. By around 7 wks, I'd start a feeding with them, let DD get a little satisfied, then remove the shield. That weaned her from it and within a week she didn''t need it.
My milk didn't come in for 5 days. We supplemented with formula during that time. It's really important though to keep LO at the breast. LO will do more for your supply than anything. My lactation consultant said that nipple confusion is real but far more rare than people think. Try to be patient and calm and LO will follow your ques.
As far as pumping goes, you're right on track there too. I felt like a colosal failure when I'd pump for 15 mins and get 1/2 an ounce total. But it's totally normal. Your body is trying to figure out how much it needs to produce for LO. Between your feedings and the pumpings, your supply will increase. If you do have a supply issue (and I did for awhile) try oatmeal or oatmeal bars (like FiberOne bars), Mother's milk tea, drink lots of water, or drink a couple of O'Doul's in the afternoon. There's yeast in the non-alcoholic beer and that promotes milk production.
If LO is falling asleep, try stripping down to the diaper and mess with LO alot. Play with LO's feet, rub LO's shoulder, gently shake LO's arm to keep her awake. Whatever it takes. LO will eventually catch on that it isn't nap time just yet.
Talk to a lactation consultant if there's one available. I was lucky that my hospital has a BFing clinic staffed with nurses who are lactation consultants. Their services were totally free. If nothing else, they are an invaluable support and they can help with weight checks to make sure LO is getting enough.
Trust me, I've been in your shoes. I know how frustrating and overwhelming it all is. I promise it will get better! Check out the BFing board too. There are alot of helpful women with great advice there too. GL!!!!
Just wanted to be another voice to echo the other ladies. You are not doomed-- in fact, far from it! A lot of what you are experiencing is normal--- I wish these were things they told us PRIOR to us starting BFing. When I was PG, I seemed to have this vision that BFing was natural and easy, and the truth is so far from that. BFing is hard and a learnt skill, and it takes a lot of time to master!
5 days for your milk to come in is absolutely average! Your supply is not low-- 1/2 oz. at this age is what your LO needs. Their stomachs are not that big at this time.
How much weight did LO lose? Did your pedi suggest supplementing with formula, or did you make this decision on your own? My LO ended up losing 1 lb. 1 oz. (YES!) post birth weight, and I refused to supplement with formula becaue it's a vicious cycle that leads to less demand on your breasts, leading to less supply... etc. Despite the 1 lb. 1 oz. weight loss, she's thriving like a champ! If I were you, I'd immediately stop giving her formula and make her learn that there is no easy way to get the milk from a bottle anymore.
How long does LO suck for? 2 minutes? 5 minutes? When they are really young, they really dont suck for that long for nutritional value. Have you tried switch nursing?
P.S. My LO wailed like a banshee for the first week I was home with her. I thought she was hungry all the time. But at the 1-week check up, she had gained weight, was thriving, and was right on track. All she really wanted was to be held! So don't panic yet, maybe your LO is doing just fine!TTC #1 since 2007. Dx: Unexplained infertility. 4 IUIs in 2008 = BFN. IVF #1 07/09. DD #1 born April 2010 (40w5d).
TTC #2 since 2011. Dx: Endometriosis and hypothyroidism. 2 FETs in 2012, BFP 6/12 but m/c @ 7 weeks. IVF #2 06/13. DD #2 born March 2014 (40w1d).
You have gotten some great advice!!
I wanted to chime in and tell you that everything you are experiencing is VERY NORMAL. Breastfeeding is a learned skill, both for you and baby.
Keep putting baby to breast, suppliment ONLY if you have to...and you'll be fine.
To keep baby from getting so angry, pump for a few minutes before you attempt breastfeeding...that will get the milk flowing and help baby get milk faster.
You can also do what I had to do, which was a nursing vacation. We took 24 hours...I put Caroline in bed with me in nothing but a diaper, and I was topless. We did lots of skin to skin, and Steven waited on me hand and foot. She started nursing that night and hasn't looked back.
Good luck...and remember, don't quit on a bad day. For one week in, I think you are doing great!!
Thanks for all the advice ladies! I really appreciate the encouragement, it's nice to know I'm normal.
LO has lost 1lb 3 oz so far and pedi highly suggested the formula. We went back yesterday and she has gained 2 oz and he said I could start to wean her off the formula, this is where my message originated because I'm worried she'll go hungry, but yet I do want to stop the formula. I swear she only sucks for like 30 seconds before falling asleep. Then I arouse her 30 sec and back to sleep. We do this for 15-20 on each side.
I'll keep working at this and staying calm and won't give up and hopefully things will improve in a few weeks!!!