Honeymoon baby? Not sure what to do...

magpiebride61210

So we got married last Saturday. Everything was perfect! I'm still shocked that NOTHING went wrong.

DH (first time I got to type that!) is a school teacher so we're not taking a honeymoon until the end of June. We're trying to decide if we stop using protection or not while on our honeymoon. I've been off the pill for about a year, to prep for our marriage. We both want children 100%, it's a huge part of who we are and what will define our marriage. We have been waiting for the day we were married so that we could have our babies. We always tell people who ask that we are going to try "soon" after the wedding. But we never defined the word "soon". We want to have our first "soon". But what does "soon" really mean? I guess I'm asking myself that question out loud. Does it mean we throw caution to the wind and see what happens while we're away? Stories of women who have been TTC for years are out there, stories of women who got preg on the first try are also out there. I guess we'll never know where we'll fall in the mix. We're ready emotionally, and I don't think our marriage needs time. We're ready for a baby. But our apartment would be smaller than ideal, and we're not rich.

 Anyone out there start trying... or at least stop preventing right after the wedding? I'd love some thoughts...

Jessica*Fletcher

First, congrats on a snag-free wedding!  That's practically unheard of.

But "soon" is going to mean what you and your DH define it as. No one's going to come up to you after you're pregnant and say, "I thought 'soon' meant 6 months or 2 years or ___."

But my BFF did this. She was married last September and is due in August. Nobody cares how soon it was after the wedding. Nobody cares b/c it's no one's business. Everyone knew how much they wanted a child.

I know you know this, but it's a decision only you and your DH can make. Good luck!

Billysun

If you're both pumped for a baby and on board with one another and you can financially handle it, I say go for it!

You have to remember also that it could take a while. It doesn't always happen when you decide it should (as I've learned!)

Good luck with whatever you choose to do, and also, congrats on your wedding! 

 *also*

Try to remember that nothing will ever be perfect. I always tell myself that. If you have a small apartment now, once you have a house that's the right size, you may not have the money. There's never a perfect time to introduce a baby into your life because it's going to change no matter what. That's just my opinion though!

Dr.Loretta

If you feel financially, emotionally, and physically ready, then it's your decision to make.

I have a small concern that you will define your marriage around babies (have you discussed what would happen if it's not so easy), but with any luck you'll be KU in no time.

magpiebride61210

Thanks ladies! Dr. Loretta I agree no one should define a marriage on one thing, especially children. I should say instead that we have known, individually for a long time, that we are set up to be parents. It's what we're supposed to do. We've been looking forward to it for a long time, even before we met. So for us, it's a part of what brought us together. It's something about him (one of many things) that I love. How excited he is to be a good father. Trust me... I know all about the hardships of getting pregnant. That's part of the reason we don't want to wait. Our humor, friendship, fun together will make our marriage last, the children I pray we'll have will only enhance it. Children are a big part of our wishes, it's just something we're so excited about, and can't wait!

 

thanks again!

cheerbuddyloves

I frustrated my MIL because we wanted marriage, then debt free, then house, and finally baby.  We still don't feel ready, but ready or not here they come. 

kiki4

The best advice I could give you  is to read Taking Charge of Your Fertility, and chart your cycles.  As others have said, only you and your DH can decide what 'soon' means.  Good Luck!

CTri17

you two should just talk about what you want. It is impossible to say how long it will take you two as a couple to get pregnant.

So as long as you are ok with the possibility of getting pregnant right away and you two are on the same page, that is all that matters.

GL and congrats on the wedding!

saintsangelips

I know exactly how you feel about everything you just said! My DH and I weren't exactly trying yet but we also weren't preventing it from happening. We just decided this last week that we are ready and have been trying. We just got married in April so it's pretty soon for us too. He has a daughter from his previous marriage though so it's not stressful for him. I on the other hand am freaking out because I just so ready to be PG. Anyway, don't stress. If you're both ready I say go for it. It may take some time, I hope not though. I know that can be VERY stressful. 

 

GL! and Congrats! 

mchupie

I stopped BCP about 3 months after our wedding.  It took us 8 months to get pregnant.  If you start trying in the near future, you could get pregnant right away, or it could take a long time.  You never know  

Decide what is best for you.  Don't listen to anyone else's opinions.  GL!

meg2u7

Here are my thoughts on getting pregnant.  IMO you're the only ones' who know your emotional, physical, and financial situation so you and DH are the only ones' that can truly make that decision; so if you both feel comfortable with - want, need, desire this - then by all means go tor it.  Note: financial stability is important here.  You will need to have some savings for emergencies in case of bad times.  Keep that in mind.

My DH and I were truly ready for a family from the start of our marriage so we started TTC on our wedding night - it however took us almost a year for me to conceive.  We had no medical problem(s).  So it's not something that can or will happen on your wedding night.  Keep that in mind.  However I've known some couples that did get pregnant on that first time; but, it doesn't happen to everyone.

The most important thing here is to just be patient, relax, just enjoy the whole advanture while it last.  You two need some time to really get to know each other.  After you have a baby your life will change - both your lives will be changed.  Now with that I suggest you still have a date night - at least once a month.  Keep the romance in you - the spark alive in your marriage always.

Good luck, wedding congratulations, your advanture in BD for LO!

jfwilliams

DH and I got maried jan 25th... My last cycle was Feb 5th... March 14th BFP....

Our soon was... SOON...

We just got a 2bdrm apt.. its small. We arent rich but we get by. We arent near any family...

But... thats OK! =] We are ready, we wanted this....

 

If its what you really want and you can handle it... even if you dotn have a rich life style etc.. if you can handle it money wise, emotionally, physically, etc... do what you feel is right! 

Aaron'sWife

There will never be an "ideal" time so once you decide to throw caution to the wind, just remember that it can take a normal healthy couple up to a year to concieve.

Don't feel rushed though! I was a stay-at-home-wife for the first 18 months of our marriage, so everyone just assumed we were ttc.

ljeckes

congrats on a smooth wedding - ours went the same way and i had the same reaction.....utter, blissful shock.

 anyway, we got married oct. 11, 2008, and stopped preventing the first of oct. we got a BFP on nov. 7, 2008. a lot sooner than we had expected but we welcomed that with open arms! like you, i had heard of women trying for years to conceive so it was unexpected to say the least. now we're on the other side of the scale - we've been trying for #2 for 8 months.

 I say if you're ready, stop preventing. nature will take its course & things will work out with the apartment. things always works out the way they're supposed to - i strongly believe that.

GL to you and your DH with your decision and with the whole TTC journey!

clynn58

kiki4:

The best advice I could give you  is to read Taking Charge of Your Fertility, and chart your cycles.  As others have said, only you and your DH can decide what 'soon' means.  Good Luck!

The best book every